Wednesday, April 30, 2003
a pretty beautiful day when u just ended ur exams.
after u leave that exam hall, suddenly, u feel rather empty.
u have been looking forward for the day to come,
yet u know, after which, u may feel pretty, empty and lost.
holidays have come.
i cant go alaska coz of the epidemic.
but, i guess it is fine, i still have things at hand to be done and completed.
but i do need a break,
a break from everything here that is so dear and so familiar to me,
that i am taking or have already taken granted for.
maybe, others have also taken me for granted.
i need a change of environment,
change in the settings everyday i see
the routine i follow meticulously w/o much thot,
the everyday hi and byes.
the meals i eat,
the meer of travelling to and fro,
makes me realise,
i have to stop getting used to everything i have now,
for i know, i will never be contended
i am not contended now, that's for sure,
but i know, i have to get over this stage of drastic mood swing.
to every1 who may keep a certain routine.
i am still young,
i dun need to feel settled.
i dun see the need yet.
i live for today.
but yet, i know tomolo brings greater mysteries to yesterdays.
i wish well to all.
to whom, to watever may happen,
it just meant to happen.
intuition is poison to one's mind.
temptation is medicine to one's desires.
-cheers-
12:54 AM |
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Sunday, April 27, 2003
dun expect me to be there to listen at all times
dun expect me to give u good advice
for i am only human
i am no angel
who is willing to listen?
who is willing to spare?
who is willing to start the sharing?
for all to care...
-coexistence-
1:09 AM |
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Saturday, April 26, 2003
Dun care, dun bother.
i think life is
pathetically,
momentarily,
painful.
its stiffness and inflexibility,
makes one too rigid to see at all.
u live not to die,
but live to live.
many dun see it.
maybe i dun see it too.
coz,
1 breath, and it's over.
never so the same,
just that breath.
-in the light of studying the last paper-
10:55 PM |
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Thursday, April 24, 2003
They cant take that away from me.
the words u have said, ring so loud in my heart
how i wish i heard it from ur mouth, but i know,
it would never happen again.
have i regretted?
have i forgotten?
ur words sent me to another dimension,
somewhere i have never been b4.
it felt,
weird, yet,
happy, ridiculously sweet.
maybe suddenly, time stood so still,
a dream knowing no timeline,
when i woke up,
u r so far away.
like a stranger.
in this reality,
u gave me so much,
maybe u have indeed changed my life,
maybe u made who i am now.
i havent forgotten,
but u have already let go.
she said, "i dont like to love for it would hurt me in the end"
maybe that was how i felt then.
promises that will never be fulfilled,
a heart that can never be recovered.
then something rings again "u will never know wat true love is till u get burnt"
u are gone.
in a whish of wind.
u were so unique, still so now.
we grew up together, we hate each other's guts
maybe in the end, it is just one-sided.
i have never said anything,
till now, i have said nothing.
from then to now,
can u feel it?
but sad to say, i never told u if i ever liked u,
let alone allowing myself to love u.
am i lying to u and the world?
or am i just stupid to realise?
it's over,
so tender and sweet.
"in the death of many nights, when i am really bored, when i feel lonely, it hurts"
that's y, i only felt pain now.
but, it doesnt hurt, anymore
coz, without u,
life goes on.
without u,
i still have to breathe.
without u now,
i never knew i had u, so dear in my hands.
nothing much to say, nothing great to tok abt,
yet i still think of every little thing u've said.
every turn i take, u are there.
taking a close look, it's just ur shadow.
moving closer,
it became just my imagination.
maybe that is the forces of nature.
but i know,
they just cant take that away from me,
never.
-maybe this is the first and last, coz like her, i hate to be controlled by emotions, coz i will feel so helpless. such feelings may only come once, but at least, i have had it.-
2:49 PM |
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hush
words cant be spoken
sounds cant be heard
actions cant be seen
touch cant be felt
emotions lurk from nowhere
wat gives u pleasure?
the wind brings
the waves gush in
hear the waves
feel the wind
see how the trees sway
-something that i have long forgotten-
2:24 PM |
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Tuesday, April 22, 2003
cry
laugh
shout
shut up
Sigh
-for life-
5:16 PM |
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a strong desire to write something inspiring today,
but nothing comes out.
maybe it is this nothingness that shows,
life is indeed, living by each moment.
and it is indeed, contradicting, that such void,
makes me say something so deep and empty, that,
it's so inspiring.
-a walking contradiction a day is, but maybe becoz life is-
1:39 AM |
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Sunday, April 20, 2003
live life and let life live
she said, "it is better to like wat u do than to do wat u like"
i would say, "y not try to do wat u like?"
maybe she is right, is first impression so impt?
maybe, we need to take a second look.
humans, with emotions, will grow to feel attached
so, u like wat u do in the end.
i do like wat i do, and moreover, i am doing wat i like.
maybe i am 1 of the lucky ones.
but there is something i like even more, i cant do it now.
interesting.
-the boundaries of a society, the freedom to one's choices, a test to one's sheer determination-
12:57 AM |
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Friday, April 18, 2003
lie to the truth
u can lie to the whole world
but u cant lie to urself
wat is the truth?
wat is the lie?
a lie told by one,
truth to others.
but,
never, never, lie to urself.
even truth seems to hurt.
it goes the longest way,
forever.
ur neverending story,
only survives by ur own truth,
and blinded by ur own lies.
2:19 AM |
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sometimes, i ponder how humans define happiness
it is interesting that love persists all
but wat love are u toking abt here?
a passion?
a fleeting feeling that just melts u?
or as said...something that is forever?
love knows no boundaries
love is everywhere
u dun need to find it
it is already there.
but, can u identify it as UR love?
can u see it?
can u feel it?
even if u have to turn mad to be happy
then if i love u, i rather u stay "mad"
-happiness vs love, only when u r happy, that is ur true happiness, ur true love-
2:04 AM |
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Wednesday, April 16, 2003
afterall
fly away from here, wish.
i care less, ignore.
i care, dependency.
who bothers, selfishness.
so y bother if flying away is impt
if u dun even care, who would?
misery makes one cry,
yet makes one see
cynicism,
only makes u seem ugly
coz truth always hurt.
-who gives a damn?-
1:54 AM |
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Sunday, April 13, 2003
maybe life is indeed a foolish game
played by no one.
it pieced u together then slowly tears u apart
but maybe excuse our ignorance,
for we have already traded it for emotions.
-after listening to jewel's "foolish game"-
2:50 AM |
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