for a world that doesnt exist
for a universe that stands still
contact:
relacon@gmail.com
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DAILY INSPIRATION:
this day, i pray
this day, i smile
this day, i wish u all the best!
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wat u want to abt me?
and why?
how much can u find out,
when i dun even know
who i am?
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Thursday, July 31, 2003
listening to tanya chua's new chinese song
it is somehow so true
check out FLINGNER for the lyrics
somehow
someone mentioned it over the radio
"dun ever mix passion as love,
physical as love"
i told jo,
"sometimes..love is abt the slow,
simmering pot of food,
that soul food"
hahaha....
how long can passion burn?
how fast would it burn out?
i dunno
ask those madly in love
maybe u can find ur own answers
in ur own way
just remember
sometimes
u may only have enuff energy or time for just that once
but doesnt mean,
u give up
coz
it is always a better tomolo
2:11 AM |
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haha
just told kelvin n jo that i dun miss any1
for today
i guessed sometimes
when u think and think until
to the cap,
that u just got sick of it
and u just stopped thinking/missing
sometimes
i wonder if i was a guru in something
i never knew how it was like to be in
but from the outside
i see it like it was on a whole
but it seems so far
yet so near
in love yet out of love
in pain yet i gain
when u lose, u also gain
but until now,
i somehow,
gain more than i pain
maybe becoz i have started to realise
and learn abt gaining and losing
it doesnt matter
but more like
i am growing
time is passing,
flying, rocketing
away from me
yet i still have time in my hands
time has never left me
it never did
maybe age did
but time has never
so no matter how much i compare
how much i lament
how much i thot time has let me down
it has never left me,
that single second
not at all
and maybe becoz of that,
subconsciously,
i have, ungratefully, taken it for granted
but now,
when i have somewat seen, and felt it
it doesnt matter if i have ignored it
but how much i have learnt from it
i am still be a stubborn ox
i am still be strong headed
but i did grow and still grow
arent u too?
Life is only filled with choices
and still stuck with no choices to choose from
but it isnt being unfair
it is how u choose to view it
hahaha....indeed
Life is just such a big contradiction
how much i love it
is as much as i hate it
2:00 AM |
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synchronised
up high
down low
too far right
move more to the left
all is nothing but a roller coaster
i would have rather stayed as a snail
it seems slow
but i see more along my way
i enjoy the process
u can hold my hands
but i may not be there all the time
just breathe
and see it well
u cant face the mirror all the time
u see no1, nothing, but urself
thru the glass u peek
all u see is bright sunlight
green lushy trees
wat has happened to u?
on the cliff
i fly
off the cliff
i walk
r u doing the same thing as i am?
1:29 AM |
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feeling great today
dunno if it was the orange shimmering eyeshadow i bought
hahahahha
but heck it la
maybe it is becoz my last day of work?
maybe it was the weather?
hahaha
dunno
i am so crappy
and yeah..jo darling having sychronised mood with me
hahaha
so both of us r feeling great!!!
okie
hehehehe
gosh
maybe i can start penning down one poem abt it
heheheh
1:06 AM |
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Tuesday, July 29, 2003
haha
managed to get my butt cracking on jazz stuff
really wanna go jazz bar
think checking out harry's again
but then oh well
next week is the only chance i think
unless thursday
hahaha
oh well
i pray
think i better grab some frens to go!
if not
i go alone!!??
hehe...wear my red tube?
WOOHOO!!!!
=oP
11:56 PM |
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Monday, July 28, 2003
it doesnt feel okie somehow, somewat
and u wont know wat it is!!!!!
hahahaha
but now
i am definitely more concerned with
that stupid WEN ZI!!!!
irritating!
sigh sigh...
lalalalala
think i am brain dead
hehehe
i need a cup of milo?
but so full from my supper
and i still wanna eat ROTI PRATA!!!!!
ARGHHH
when can i have my roti prata?
hehehe....
howhow?
stupid
which roti prata stall is good ah??
can some1 drop some hints?
heheheheh
i am mad
hrmmm
think i am going to indulge in my gluttoncy
11:29 PM |
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now rotting in school in a computer lab
w hebky and jo
gosh it is boring and i am still having some withdrawal syndrome
hahaha
TIRED
tada!!!
lalalala
i am going to rot to death
hehehhehehe
yawnz!!!!!!!
2:03 PM |
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finally i think i can rest well at home till tomolo 10something
b4 i meet my darling
sheesh
it is so tiring
but it was good to see
my customers coming back to get the phones ah!
hahaha
and recognises me
so sweet
hehehe
oh well
TIRED
one more last shift and
all of us wanna that XELIBRI TRAVEL BAG!!!!!
i wanna the RED one..
think it matches my red tube!
hehehe
going to wear that new pair of shoes i've got
haha
red bag with red air aqua shoes with red tube!!
MYMYMY
i am in the red/orange mood again
lalala
wait a sec
i HAVE ALWAYS BEEN IN SUCH RED/ORANGE MOOD
haha
i am just glad
sigh
at least i am not too grumpy or irritable liao
hahaha
12:14 AM |
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Sunday, July 27, 2003
and it seems only listening to jazz
have calmed me down
bom cha cha
bom bom cha cha
bom cha bom cha
cha bom cha bom
shhhh...
close ur eyes and feel the beats
feel it in ur veins
seal it with a kiss
the way we danced till 3
the way u changed my life
no they cant take that away from me
i have no idea wat i am typing
i am going to bed
12:36 AM |
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suddenly
alot of things came to mind
and blogging them down just seem to be stuck somehow?
i never knew how it was like
i hate life now
never mind
but i guess
i have to live with it
hahaha
i am fine with alot of things
but i realised,
never mind
alot of things cant be said
but yeah.
the moment i said
pple said i am jaded,
think too much,
cynical
oversensitive
and it boils down to THAT person in the end
hahaha
i need to take off those pairs of legs and rest them ah!
hush
hush
hush
hush
i think i need a moment of peace
silence is truly golden
that i am sooooooooooo
blinded
ouch
i thot it is silence?
so i should be deaf?
how can u see silence?
i thot u can hear silence?
my mind isnt working again
sigh
12:06 AM |
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Saturday, July 26, 2003
the only superficial thing i did
was to buy a pair of heels that i wanted to get long ago!!!!
it is higher than the existing black heels!
gosh
am i not trying to reach the skies?
but heck it
and i think i will stop shopping for another 6 whole months
hahahahahahahahahahaha
i am turning mad
i am so tired that my brain is almost dead
but i know
the moment i am to lie on the bed
hahaha
i cant sleep!
11:58 PM |
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wat a fucking tired day...
i stood the whole day
non stop toking and moving around
with that pair of black heels
smiling
explaining
trying very hard to beat the sound systems
and never did i know
that i was 8pm,
exactly 7 hrs after i have rested,
gone toilet,
drank water,
or even catch a breathe
and my legs are cramping up on me
eyes are so dry that contacts are abt to pop out
seriously
it is so tired
so fucking tired
and i have morning shift still tomolo
tomolo will be my last 2nd day working
god bless those who will be my customers
so sorry to frens that i couldnt stay to tok much
i have 3 floor managers on my back
even my bosses dun bitch abt toking to frens
it is the isetan bosses
GOSH
and one of the manager?...
looks like a ghost! and she is so RUDE
that she would stand there, folding her arms, and stare at u attending to a customer
my my..how did she ever got promoted to floor manager with such attitude and FACE
sometimes..useless pple,
are meant to be got rid of
maybe they are better of doing something else,
and not stand there and look like some
ghost, out to go "i know wat u did when u r promoting?"
sigh
but at least our bosses so sweet pple
hehehhe
11:54 PM |
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today
FINALLY we have moved downstairs
but it was really bad
only 1 demo set w 3 promoters
and we have a road show tomolo???
how to survive?
hopefully,
our bosses are smart enuff to at lesat give us one each??
and i have to put hrmm
more makeup
and i am a cosmetic moron
i tried half an hr to get my eyeshadow up,
and i think i look WORSE w that makeup
wat the heck?
going to those cosmetics promoters for help on that!!!!!
ARGH...
watever...
i am so fucking tired?
never b4?
and i am working 10-10 tomolo
on HEELS
and yeah
with the full makeup and smiling and TOKING NONSTOP!!!!
tian ah
oh well
maybe tomolo sales will cheer all of us up!!!
1:06 AM |
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Friday, July 25, 2003
i just
i dun need a reason
i dun need a question
i dun need an answer
i just do
looking into those powerful eyes
securing into those warmth hugs
feeling those heartbeats so close
i just feel
rounding up all emotions
winding up all energy
casting all out of my world
i just let go
tap those fingers and feet along with those jazzy beats
put away those masks u have worn for ages
out flows those sinking feelings
i just fly
i never knew that moment exists
i never realise how good it could feel
i never feel that everything is going to last
i just stand still
maybe time is wasted
maybe the world has spun faster
maybe my breathing slows down
i just
2:07 AM |
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and i am listening to one of my fav tunes
the corrs' "one nite"
check out the lyrics
all i can say this is
the lyrics is so fucking true
hahahahaha
OOPS
really out of point
but its music is super soothing
everything fits in so well!!!!
ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh
1:20 AM |
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read my darling's blog
yeah
i still believe that humans bastardly bitch
coz they will never learn to get out of that vicous cycle
not that they never try
but
they never pressed on
yeah
who cares?
yeah if u really care
that would be so weird
yeah i am doing reverse psychology
bringing out the optimism
and bringing the innate goodness of humans
but can u see wat u have done to urself and others
in the 1st place
u were never in the viscous cycle at all
NEVER
did u read my lips?
yeah..
one moment i said
u r in it
the next moment i said,
the viscous cycle never existed
wat the fuck right??
haha...maybe in the end
some would understand
some would slowly see the light
some will never see it at all
some would just go
"aiyah...u and ur big words!!!!!"
watever it is,
shrugs
vicous cycle started from u and will always end w u
u never see it
u never realised u were in it
yet u werent it at all
too much of everything kills the pure pleasure of everything
too little of everything habours desires so deep,
u just die to get it
so wat the fuck am i toking about?
yeah i am toking in circles to u?
am i not?
it is not emotional to jsut do watever that comes to mind
but when somehow
u have reached to the stage when it seems emotions are of control of mind
yet u clearly know u want and need it
so wat is it in the end?????
is it rationality and emotional at the same time??
biggest joke ever
just do
dun ask
yet dun assume
wat the fuck
i just heard this over the radio.....goodness...it happened to EVERY1??
its about holding hand situation dear?
it is like the same thing
wat if he din ask and u dun like him
and u took ur hand away,
he is very hurt
he hates himself
for not asking
but when he asked and u liked him
but u get turned off and went no?
u missed out the chance
the games we played isnt with the heart u realised?
it is with the mind
logic controls too much of our emotions
u desire
u push it away
u dun,
u keep getting it back
right
wat has this world become?
nothing
just the way it always does
a reason to believe
a reason to love
u dun even need to find it
it will come lor
yeah
thruout this whole blog
i have been thinking so much
all of us lacked courage
to love to accept
to be bearing
to be understanding
coz we are just so scared of getting hurt ourselves in the end
but never did we realise
no matter wat we do,
we just hurt ourselves
in a way or another
there isnt a perfect way out
NEVER
just like watever we would like to do
pursuing our dreams
would give us happines
yet we could try in all means stand up again when we failed
coz it is a dream, that we need
just like it
like a dream
u will fall no matter
yet fear holds us back
yet when pursuing dreams
courage overtakes fear
y cant we just harness it?
maybe we need that nite
tat enlightenment tat we will see it
listening to clay aiken's version of this is the nite
it is a damn nice song
i guess he sings superbly well!!!!
and he went
"i have been waiting for the rest of my life
for this is the nite"
how charming
12:44 AM |
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Thursday, July 24, 2003
i think i am going to mug alot liao
and play bridge alot liao
coz i may try to get 6 modules next sem
2 are non examinable
fine
i will work really hard
sheesh
then it would most prob everyday 9-6pm
really
i have confirmed that
if i get 6 modules?
i would really stay in school 9-6
okie
i need to cope w that
and i know
i can do it
and do well too
yeah
11:09 PM |
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it is so weird to listen to this song again
and felt the same way all over again
but it is not about wat is the outcome of something
it is the process
somehow
i think i am beginning to learn it
and feel its meanings tat deep!
even i knew i sort of made up my mind
but it is only dumb to be right?
but it is a choice
u never learn till u have gotten hurt
if u wanna to try
bear the pain
enjoy the luffter
it goes
the power to believe
the power to deceive
i dun care anymore
somehow,
when u feel it
just do it
and watever the ending would be
u have at least tried
u will never grow till u have got burnt
ouch it may seem
but this is life
bad or good,
it wont matter?!
regrets are something that are for the yesterdays
hopes are something that are for tomolos
and only now is something u live for
somehow i dunno if it sounds irrational
nor does it sound practical or impractical
nor do i know watever i am deciding on
is temptation that is setting in
or is for good or bad
i just try when i know it comes
it isnt temptation
coz i just know
i wont regret it
nor i wont hope for it
i just wish to live it
best of luck!
to all
=o)
2:00 AM |
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gosh
toking to him
makes me happy
coz i seem to have found another person to argue!!!
but then
i feel guilty towards another
heh?
interesting hor?
i also dunno y?
superficiality isnt for me
i sort of like
intellectuals
haha
oh okie
and yeah
so wat if i watch soccer
formula one?
pool?
tennis?
and i swim to keep fit and toks like some animated "clown"
hahah
this is me!!!
=oP
lalala
1:25 AM |
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Wednesday, July 23, 2003
there is this song sang by norah jones
more than this
think she din write it or wat
it isnt found in her album
but yeah
it is bossanova
not yan's hmpg
hahaha
but yeah
it is really GREAT
yan!..check it out yeah??
it is really nice
*winkz*
anyway...there is another great piece
yeah bossanova by diana krall
the look of love
it is really nice
hahaha
in the mood for love!!!!
and another of her song
let's fall in love
orrrrrr...
i realise...
jazz is mostly falling in love
hahaha
no wonder...*looking at jo*
is that y i....
hrmm
hahaha
RIGHT
enjoy the songs if u can d/l them
lyrics up on my flingner again!
*hugz*
12:29 AM |
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Tuesday, July 22, 2003
listening to class 95
haha..it is the love classics.
i just like listening to all these love classics at nite
they sound really nice and relaxing
haha....they sound pretty familiar
dunno...haha....somehow...
WEIRD
but who cares!
another day passed without much happening
got a pair of red nike air aqua
quite nice to wear
haha...
alot of things...
yeah
comes as it comes
FREEZE
my computer keeps hanging like hell
should say the internet
SHRUGS
listen to this song
by Black eye peas
where is the love?
lyrics up on my flinger
check it out
11:52 PM |
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taking this time to sit and think about my own life
i dunno if i should take things a step at a time
maybe, u r right
practicality doesnt work all the time
i pursue my dreams
i wish i can live them now
but yeah
a step at a time
hoping that things would fall into their respective places
but i cant help but to prepare for the worst
maybe i should just get hitched
and be a housewife
but i know
i will HATE it
and REGRET it
so again,
every1 takes the hard way out
okie, not all...but some
and i am one of those who wanna pursue those dreams so far
i am starting on it soon
it is a big picture i am seeing
now i have to start filling that bits of details
if not,
it is just an empty shell
slowly does it
haste only makes things worse
hopefully i am able to understand those simple words
life in general,
is about living
interestingly
to which extent
i have no clue
totally clueless
maybe once in a while,
there are inklings drop from somewhere
and then u see it,
life seems clearer and hrmm
more focus
other than that, it is usu
blurry
and foggy
haha
not to say that it is not sunny
it is always sunny for the sun is always there
just that,
how to walk out,
and pat ur own shoulders and go
"i have tried my best"
and comfortingly,
knowing,
u, did really try ur best
oh well
dunno wat i am blabbering about
hahaha
take life as it comes
as it goes
as it flows
it rhymes doesnt it?
okie
i guess i shall stop here
nothing much to write
and sometimes
technology
has it cuteness
damn how i always contradict myself
hahah
life is indeed full of contradictions!!
*winkz*
2:51 AM |
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Monday, July 21, 2003
hrmm
now my male darling feeling fustrated....
yeah...this world like very funny!
haha
we are all facing some sort of crisis i think
no worries dear,
every1 has ups and downs
but life is still interesting!!!
*hugz*
more more *hugz* for lijie(my male darling)
but i am somehow...rotting..
WEIRD
hahaha
okie wed onwards
i will be bz working working working
hahaha
almost last week of this promoter job!
and i never realise it at all
crappy
meaning
school is really starting soon!
=oP
11:23 PM |
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this rocks
finally got the complete mp3
it rocks big time
hahahaha
these few songs are my theme songs
it toks about my state of mind
oh hell yeah, dun they sing my heart and mind out!
hrmm
hahaha
yeah.
i am really turning nuts
within the span of 5 hrs
i have swung so low and high
3:24 AM |
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when i fall in love
i take my time
there is no need to hurry when i'm making up my mind
u can turn off the sun
but i still gonna shine
and i tell ya y...
i think i see it liao
hahaha
home is here
in my heart
and i am home
2:05 AM |
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i have found that song
lyrics up on my flingner
yeah it is by live
titled
heaven
it is really great
think it is a christian band?
dunno
hahaha
but sigh
the d/led mp3 cant make it
it is spoilt?!
whoever can find the complete, unspoilt one
pls contact relacon!!!!
THANKS
1:05 AM |
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sigh
i wish
i can be struck by lightning sometimes
oh well
wat to do??
i am such an extremist
sigh
12:42 AM |
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Sunday, July 20, 2003
i heard this song
and i am so touched again
i cried
cant get its title again
but the chorus goes
but it could be wrong
i jsut remember off my tired mind
i dun need no 1 to tell me about heaven
when i look at my daughter
and i believe
i dun need any proof for god and truth
whenever i see the sunset
i ______
it goes something like this
i wish i can watch that sunset alone again
and really wish it last forever
and then i think i am home
really home
think i have reached my limit
my threshold
sorry for everything (again i am blaming myself
but i cant help it)
sorry
sigh
11:49 PM |
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for once i am really losing the spirit to go on
i worry about taking too mnay modules and i cant cope
then i will do badly again
and there goes my grades and my cap
and it would be harder to pull it up
and now i am worrying about my own life
which just starting to crash onto me
everything seems to come onto me again
i am already trying my best to keep smiling
like today
when i managed to get home
i was quite happy
the moment i am online
my life was screwed again
life is getting tired
if i am going to lose my family too
(CHOI!)
i will rather die
the harder u hold on
the more u would lose it
time to let go
how come i never seem to even try to do it good once?
sigh
i am really praying
11:18 PM |
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fuck all who is reading this
but too bad
my blog is a place where i vent off my anger
u can take every single word as truth
u can just shrug it off
but u cant shrug off
ur own conscience
yeah let it punish all of us
for everything we have done
may heavens still bless us
not to banish us to the 18th level of hell
HA!
there u go
fuck it
yeah
10:54 PM |
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i am missing some1 badly
but some1 else cheered me up by his cuteness
goodness?
hahah
but now i have no time to think too much
only have to concentrate on my modules???
sheesh...
no time to fool around
a major decision on wat to take and whether i should clear them fast now??
headache
monday..will tok like hell to frens
FAINTS!
1:17 AM |
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Saturday, July 19, 2003
watever!!!!!
i need to go jazz bar!
okie kim jo u guys interested?
we can go somewhere
harry's is fine
there are some nites it cool nice jazz
but not on friday and sat pls
i guess yanxu wont be free??
haha
dun even know if he still reads my blog
my blog is just too upsetting for normal humans to read
it is way too depressing
full of anger isnt it?
too bad..
it is just my way to vent it off
b4 i vent it off on u guys
so yeah..
be glad i never vent it off u guys
shrugs
life like this
never realise
how balanced i can be hor?
hahahaha
1:38 AM |
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there is something i wanna complain
TECHNOLOGY
yah, it is a contradiction
but yeah
i HATE TECHNOLOGY
coz it always hangs my SYSTEM LIKE HELL
CCRAP
esp microsoft IE?
with my XP?
confirm there is some security problem
fucked up
both come from microsoft?
but they get hanged????
wat the hell?
1:35 AM |
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Friday, July 18, 2003
toking about life with 2 frens online
and yeah
y get all serious some would say
we arent?
we are just kidding around
on
having a life to live
and live it
having ur own dosage of life each day
and living it,
trying our best to be the best
living this paradoxical life
to the fullest
and relax every now and then
haha...
life is indeed too exciting to be too something for too long
dun get angry 4 too long
dun get sad too 4 long
dun get disappointed 4 too long
dun get excited 4 too long
dun ________ 4 too long
watever u can fill in?
hahahah
yeah just dun
and i will not "life" 4 too long
hahahaha
2:27 AM |
|
and u know wat?
so i end up
only wanting to love this nature
it is so beautiful
it speaks in the most compelling
appalling enchanting language that i have ever heard
the promises she gives me
is eternal
not becoz i trust her
but she also trusts me
but i feel bad coz alot of times
she gives me more than i can give her
thank god
how many can be like her?
have her graciousness?
have her forgiving nature?
have her outrageous temper?
i dunno
i wonder if i can find any like her
she is so beautiful
so dangerously charming
i am completely mesmerised
too bad
dear,
u r in love with ur chinchilla
i am in love with my nature
hahahahha
we r both indeed in love with 2
that understands us
w/o using any single human language
and u know,
they are listening and loving us always?
love is really about the unspoken moments
is really about those seconds
when u dun say anything but observe each other in silence
whispering the sweetest secrets
through touch,
and heart
smiling
jo,
can u feel it?
i did
and still am
2:02 AM |
|
wat a day
never mind
just realised the tertiary institution is screwed up
very screwed up
never mind
wat the fuck
and darling u know wat?
i hate all those idiots now
yeah u should know wat i mean
tok to every single 1 of them
they jsut pissed me off
listening to the drops of jupiter
i hate one part
one sentence
it is irritating
wat the HECK?
never mind
in foul mood now
maybe i am just tired yeah?
both of us have synchronised mood swing
did u notice?
may that sunset lasts forever
1:33 AM |
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Thursday, July 17, 2003
was toking to jo just now
haha
thanks dearie jo, for being so sweet
=o)
love u too!
happiness is from within
not from outside
that is impt!
love urself then u can love others
love is about loving wat they are all
u dun have to be a saint to love
u dun have to be an angel to accept
just have to keep that open mind
just have to open urself to that flow
it will just hit u to the core
realisations are the pts of ur life
where it doesnt consist emotions
it is just about seeing things
in a better light
it all rushes into u
and u see it for once
so clearly
never been so clear doesnt it?
i preach love
not becoz i want to be loved
but becoz i am loved (qouting from jo, and this is a great one too *winkz*)
regardless who u r
wat sex
wat religion
wat race
as long as u r human
as long as u have a heart
u love
u do
and dun forget
u r loved
by ur family
by ur frens
by this earth that houses u
and most imptly
the greatest love ever received
is from urself
that reaches so far out to the universe
that u know
u love urself for u love this universe
u cant separate them at all
u and this world
love binds all together
=o)
take care!
live life like never b4
coz happiness is just in front of u
u have a hug from a stranger
u r loved
though u never knowwho that is
but never mind
it is still a sincere hug
there isnt a need to look for something that always have existed
let it go
and u see it unfold,
so beautifully
so naked.
3:26 AM |
|
managed to pen down this poem while working to keep my brain unfrozen
it is like reliving the days in mgs again
=o)
Sunrise! Sunrise!
1st light of e day breaks into the darkness
of the starlit sky
Crawling out of bed, i woke
grumpily stood out of the house
Sun's face plays peek-a-boo
The clouds join in
slowly drowning the land
with orange warm light
Dragging my heavy feet up the slope
Suddenly, i remembered to take a deep breath
"ok...another new day to go!"
Blue sky slowly emerge triumpantly,
announcing e arrival of the sun.
Its face radiantly shining,
morning dews slowly evaporate
8 Flights of stairs to the top storey
sleep eyes hardly opened
brains hardly woken up
a short exercise has made me huff and puff!
A magnificent row of green lushy trees,
interlocks tightly than ever
the dull, soothing green leaves added a sad tint into the morning
solemn, silent
beyond those,
orange clouds, big fluffy ones
thin wispy ones
like a coat of fur wrapping the dense vegetation
Stunned!
AHHH!...Wat...a......beea....uuutttiiffuulll siiggghhhttttt?!?!?
i stood just facing that picturesque panoromic view
a surge of unknown energy rushes to each and every end of my sleepy body
that tingling sensation, unknowningly
relaxes and refreshes my face
a smile glows right int that unspoken appreciation
coming to senses, a few within reach
stood still, dumbstruck
i guess they, like me, are just aweing at the beauty of nature
the world seems to have stopped all movement
we froze
we literally froze
A slight breeze blew
but from far, nothing seems to have moved
not a bit
Sun's face finally shown completely
the trees brightened up immediately
the clouds have stopped blushing
returning to their original shade
as white as snow
unbelievably smooth and white
RRRRIIINNNNGGGG!!!!!!!!!!
not really like a poem doesnt it?
the parts on me are just comments
the one on the sunrise and the land is peotic
hahaha.....good combination?
comments???
but it is fine
i guess
it is just reliving that moment again
something i truly cherish
and something that taught me the beauty of nature
at its very basic form
how powerful and compelling it shook me from the inside
i truly salute to her my mother earth
i never wanna to conquer u
i only wanna to give thanks to u
ur powers are beyond human
definitely!
*WINK*
3:12 AM |
|
i found out the song liao!!!!
SO HAPPY!!!!
THANKS TO KELVIN!!!!!!!
REALLY A BIG THANKS
AND A BIG HUG!!!!
it is by train
drops of jupiter
read the lyrics off my flingner website
or go to this website
drops of jupiter
darling jo...
listen to this song if u can
also listen to the ally mcbeal main theme song again
it is great
and yeah
qouting jason mraz
when i fall in love, i take my time
there is no need to hurry when i am making up my mind
u can turn off the sun
but i am still going to shine and i will tell u y.....
that is my belief
remember i sent ya his url?...on his interview?
yeah he was like my soulmate for happiness
u should reread again... jason mraz
haha
stay happy!
=o)
yeap
enjoy my dears out there
this is life
happiness is right there
and it is not just about BGRs
hopefully u pple can see it
take care!
*winkz*
*HUGZ*
2:15 AM |
|
haha
a great day!!
and a crappy one!!!!
but it was good really
enjoyed my day and
yeah good luck to my galfren who is going for SEP!
and yeah good luck to my guy fren?!?
hehehe
*winkz*
haha..somehow..life is good now....
gossiping about other pple's life and
luffing at my own life stupidity too
hahaha
luff ur life away
that is a better choice isnt it?
*winkz*
12:24 AM |
|
Tuesday, July 15, 2003
i realised alot of funny things
i shouldnt read too much into things
i shouldnt look into pple's past and let it affect the presen and future
that is all i understand
dunno
there is this song
i cant find the title
i felt it was sang for me
if any1 who knows the title of the song and the singer
great tell me
can d/l for me?
it goes something like this
travelling to the milky way
and dunno dunno wat
okei i knwo it doesnt help
but it was toking about the singer singing to this girl
who set off to travel away from him
to see life
went to see the stars beyond
travel around
balhblah
wat is that song????
damn
itisnt that new liao
but pls
find that song for me
i need it
thanks!
11:53 PM |
|
again i am feeling empty once again
going to wear my denim dress tomolo!
finally
after i have bought it quite long ago
yeap
oh well
i dunno??
hehe
tomolo meeting from old frens
okie
hehe
back to JC days again
*winkz*
11:18 PM |
|
i am feeling so tired
so tired
i dun wanna think anymore
thank u
10:26 PM |
|
YIPEEEEE!!!!!
i have completed the books!!!!!!!!
a good fullstop to my data entry
FINALLY!!!!!!!!!!
phew
10:09 PM |
|
Monday, July 14, 2003
it was then
when sometimes i realise,
y i never wanted that..
hrmm
sometimes,
u just never wanna give something up
coz u know once u let go that 1 time
u cant get it back
and u know
u will sink deeper dun u?
it was 6pm when i left HK's house
then it was a little overcast
then was on bus 7 seeing that the sun was setting
it was so beautiful
really...i felt very peaceful
thinking, thank god for i still can see the sunset
though all of us take it for granted the sun will rise and set,
shine brightly for the next billion yr
but how can we not stop once in a while and admire the beauty
and the LIFE it gave us
but sad to say, alot dun care
pple do, all the time, take things and pple for granted.
but it is fine.
some pple do it all the time
some just try to cherish wat they have
just like a couple i knew
1 of them has to go overseas for full 6 months(the girl)
so when the girl got back,
her bf missed her so much and realised how much she was to him
was sooooo sweet to her
like never b4
coz sometimes, when pple are always there, physically
things become a habit
and then thus slowly, taken for granted
in order to spice life,
u gotta play the "missing" game
not in the terms of i miss u u miss me
but the
i am gone for some time
i guess
promises like
"i will love u all ur life
i will be with u all ur life
i will be by ur side all ur life"
blahblah
hrmm
are bullshits that sound nice
tell me that when i am on my deathbed,
till then, i see u still with me
that is only the time when i would totally believe in it and
realise the "love" u have
cynical?
it isnt
it just so real
even to frens
family
it is the same
i never see jervis for 3 weeks
i loathe working on weekends nites..
becoz i know i wont see him
afterwhich i fell dead asleep
reaching the bus interchange
i walked towards the hawker centre to grab my dinner
and stuck with only 2 choices,
porridge or soup-based food coz of my stupid diarrhoea
i chose fish porridge
i sat down at this table
with a medium-age man,
drinking his beer
waiting for his food too
he looked at me
i looked at him
at diff glances, of coz
then the 3rd party another medium age man
joins the table
three diff pple
eating from the same stall
leading a diff life
then
walked abit to the next bus stop
coz the nite is just too irresistible to waste not walking even tat bit
felt rather heavy in terms of emotions
the sun has completely set by then coz it was 8pm already
but the sky looked sad
coz again slightly overcast looking
grey dull
but it was cooling
and i started to space out
too tired
space out
boarded the bus and fell asleep my way home
woke up got off and got home to bathe
irritated
with alot of things
esp pple around me
shut myself in my room
never tok to my family
the most is only 5 sentences till now
i only stepped out of the room 3 times since i came in at 9pm
i have suddenly
taken for granted that they are around din i?
but pple did it to me too
and i was pissed
this life is not fair at all
i refuse,
really refuse to believe
that there is equality now
but i cant help but to sigh
that it is my life
really
i am giving up
coz pple are always more selfish than u
coz pple are always asking more than u ask for
so,
do u think that is true?
i dunno
coz i just cant be bothered
better not expect pple to care and bother
sometimes
it is just a sort of yi wo to ask and ask
but it is becoz
u have done the same for them
u started it,
so they are returning u the favour
wat's there to return?
as if u can return
a sincere help
it is done and over with it
dun even bother to return it
u r just trying to make urself not owe any1 something isnt it?
and times like this,
when u wanna help
help becoz u really wnana help
and not becoz,
i wanna help coz u helped me the other time
if not dun bother...
but when u dun,
pple said,
u just take and never give
shity right?
and that is life
this is a super long blog i have written
i am jsut writing watever fuck is going thru my brain
and i am going to hibernate
do things that i have to do
i wont bother other things anymore
really
sometimes
u bother so much
u r the one pple refuse
so y bother?
cases are closed for now
and i will turn around and bite if any1 comes to disturb my sleep
i will
3:15 AM |
|
Sunday, July 13, 2003
saintless, humanless
without the pair of wings
i just cant fly
where is the cradle that once rocked me to sleep?
where is the cradle that once hushed me when i cried?
where is the cradle that once protected me when i am sleeping?
where is that pair of hands that swing that cradle?
provide me with that pair of wings
i cant seem to find it
how to be emotionless when i am human?
how not to feel down when i am not a saint
how to pick those broken pieces, when my hands are already pricked?
how am i to keep on walking, down the gravelled road?
i am only human
not a saint, without a halo, without a pair of wings
wat to do to learn?
wat to do to be free?
wat to do to be stand up once again?
wat to do to face it, like a mother to protect a child from predators?
i am falling down again,
i cant find my sight
when do i start to believe in faith?
when would i find that switch to the light?
when can i let things flow as they are?
when can it be, for hope to pull me through?
no more whys i ask,
i am so tired to question
if thank u,
i am not to feel
i am not even human
if thank u,
i am to feel,
i am not saint either
if i am saint to swallow it all,
may i be risen to heavens
where happiness reigns
without that pair of wings
that never belonged to me in the 1st place
this isnt shelless
this isnt saintless,
this isnt humanless.
just grant me peace
11:14 PM |
|
listening to this song again
and i felt better
somehow
this song sings my heart out
and i am glad i picked it out of my mp3 songs
hopefully when i feel terrible or down,
this song will remind me to pick myself up,
knowing
that's the only way out
Through The Rain
(mariah carey)
When you get caught in the rain with no where to run
When you're distraught and in pain without anyone
When you keep crying out to be saved but nobody comes
And you feel so far away
That you just can't find your way home
You can get there alone
It's okay, what you say is
I can make it through the rain
I can stand up once again on my own
And I know that I'm strong enough to mend
And every time I feel afraid I hold tighter to my faith
And I live one more day and I make it through the rain
And if it keeps falling down don't you dare give in
You will arrive safe and sound, so keep pressing on steadfastly
And you'll find what you need to prevail
What you say is
I can make it through the rain
I can stand up once again on my own
And I know that I'm strong enough to mend
And every time I feel afraid I hold tighter to my faith
And I live one more day and I make it through the rain
And when the wind blows, as shadows grow close don't be afraid
There's nothing you can't face
And should they tell you you'll never pull through
Don't hesitate, stand tall and say
I can make it through the rain
I can stand up once again on my own
And I know that I'm strong enough to mend
And every time I feel afraid I hold tighter to my faith
And I live one more day and I make it through the rain
I can make it through the rain
And stand up once again
And I live one more day and night
I can make it through the rain
may i am able to hold tight to my own faith
10:48 PM |
|
Friday, July 11, 2003
me and my big mouth
me and my big mouth
me and my big mouth
me and my big mouth
me and my big mouth
me and my big mouth
me and my big mouth
me and my big mouth
me and my pea brain
me and my pea brain
me and my pea brain
me and my pea brain
me and my pea brain
me and my pea brain
me and my pea brain
me and my pea brain
12:52 PM |
|
i think sometimes
pple jsut gotta help themselves
if not,
no matter how much u r willing to give advice
to be there,
there isnt much to do anyway
how can i forget such simple reasoning
help urself if u can la
every1 else has their own life to lead still
i have to live mine too
let me worry about my problems too
but i am still thinking if i have problems
haha..
okieokie
wat comes will come doesnt it?
let it flow
even if u dun help urself
maybe it is just meant to be
yeah,
ur zao4 hua4
ur destiny
best of luck to those in sticky situations
there is always a way out,
if there is a will
dun give up when u havent tried yeah?
smiLe =o)
11:55 AM |
|
somehow...
i have a DAMN DAMN WEIRD FEELING
that something BIG will happen ON ME
dunno...
it would be come as a surprise
pleasant or not
i dunno
it is just unprecedented
or rather i would say,
that it is just,
some weird occurrence
is bound to unleash
and stun me like never b4
hrmm
wait and see
wait and see
3:35 AM |
|
hehehe......i am a sunrise girl....
sunrise....one of my fav songs....
lalalala
Sunrise - You seek to learn all you can so that you
may teach the wisdom of the world to others.
You enjoy tranquility and peaceful beauty, and
like to feel at one with the world.
When are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
12:19 AM |
|
Thursday, July 10, 2003
hehe...
dunno
somehow
i think life has a purpose
a meaning somewhere
alot is happening at home
but they arent all bad
really
it is more like realisation and more realisations
so weird
and sometimes
from my parents
i sense certain sense of hope and hrmm
dreams
at least they lived for a reason
i have no idea wat it is
never asked
never knew till now
but i can sense that strong reason somewhere lurking
yeah, it does give me some time to think about
life does have a purpose
a reason
1:48 PM |
|
oops!!!
i forgot to report good news
hopefully it falls thru!!!
i think i jsut made sales!!!
sold 3 sets of X4
pray hard that the lady goes to collect it tomolo
*pray pray*
going to treat my fren on friday for closing the deal
not taking any commission
yeah
so happy for,
hrmm
actually
only 10 mins
better than nothing though
=oP
and yeah, i have finished a book!!!!!
GOSH
but sigh
life isnt always so nice to me ah!!!
my FACE......
12:48 AM |
|
haha
dear..u crappy la!!!!
sent out that post on kissing?!?!
hahaha
hrmm
good way to test soon if it ever happens??
hahahaha...
but now.
i think my face either allergic to the foundation
which i have used for 2 weeks
or the cleansing lotion that i have jsut used for 2 days...
so which is the one that coz the redness????
sigh
my mum told me to invest in shiseido foundation...
am i not BROKE!!!!!!!
hrmmmm
12:27 AM |
|
sometimes...i wonder
does the fucking past matter so much?
some1 can say
in the end, it doesnt matter
u r judging urself too much
alot of pple have gone thru alot
but so?
i have been thru maybe not UR KIND OF SHIT
but yeah,
i have BEEN THRU SHIT IN MY SENSE
that i refused to get back to those days too
every1 has their past
every1 has those damn fucking days they dun wanna look back at
i have tons of it
but does it matter?
till now,
i am jsut fuckingly gratefully that i am the person i am now becoz of the past i have
doesnt mean i wanna turn away?
if so,
i am turning myself away
i dun say anything about it,
doesnt mean anything
pple dun ask, i dun say
even so,
does it affect so much?
my character may reflect
but u can never know wat causes it
so thus,
so be it
i have no idea y
but are pple around judging u becoz of ur past?
if they are,
pls, ignore...coz they dun deserve much respect at times
u live and learn
but wat HAVE U LEARNT?
LEARN TO RUN AWAY?
or LEARN TO ACCEPT?
i myself dunno too.
till now,
i think accepting is the best remedy for me
have u ever thot of wat it could be
i never expect pple to understand me liao
coz even if u dun urself
then dun bother
pls, dun pinpt
in the actual fact,
i never said i understand any1 actually
if i do,
is to shut pple up
coz in the end,
who is to know everything the best but urself?
it's urself
if u fall
u fall urself
if u were to stand up again
only u can pick urself up
coz u r the best to know
wat the heck has been going thru
sometimes,
i cant help to admit
life needs alot of luck
sometimes
it is jsut not luck we are toking about
it is about the life u r meant to lead
it is laid in a damn certain direction
but wat is it to be?
we are totally clueless
that's my theory
yeah,
i dunno
maybe i have stop thinking about how selfish pple can be
how far pple are to me, even they seem so darn close
but am i to blame pple or to blame myself?
i rather not blame
it is the matter of how and wat
coz i dun bother to ask y anymore
frens or foes
be it fate or predestined
i dunno,
but all i know is,
when u live and learn,
it is becoz
everything is just like this
this is this, and
that is that
12:12 AM |
|
Wednesday, July 09, 2003
it is so weird
when i become relacon
he asked me
wat can one do to forget the love that he or she given to the other party thus having a plationic relationship with that someone who was his or her ex-lover
i actually said
u cant forget my dear
u just have to let it go
u have to accept that it is not there anymore
then would u be able to move on
take ur time
dun haste it....
just let it flow away
just take ur time la
no 1 says it is easy
u just have to try
just go out more often,
tok to more pple
and open urself up
enjoy urself...
hrmm
yeah....sooner or later....life is more than getting upset over a lost love
*patpat*
itis a better tomolo
yeah that's wat my advice was for him
it does sound so weird to me
i actually said that?
and when i told him i understand how he feels
he asked, " u have experience b4?"
i din know how to answer
maybe it is just like a dream so far away already
i have let it go that i dun sort of recall it
or maybe,
i was never in that situation b4
then maybe,
my advice just came to me,
like a flash of brillance
how highly i thot myself to be again.
hrmmmm
12:57 AM |
|
Tuesday, July 08, 2003
my fingers are quivering
my shoulder are arching
my eyes are hurting
and i am still so far away from my target
wish me luck
i only have one more week to go
ARGHH
this is my life, and i have no idea y
11:57 PM |
|
Monday, July 07, 2003
and i am feeling super upset
i havent sold a single set
somehow, i realised
i am not cut for sales.
never mind
so be it.
just darn it
so wat if i so called looked good in that uniform
i dun make any sales?
wat good does it do?
NOTHING
ZILCH
i just HATE such superficiality
FUCK
and one more thing
i just HATE the thing called LUCK
it never shines on me
in this way
NEVER
DAMN how i HATE SUPERFICIALITY
it just goddamn it
makes me feel like puking
and makes me feel super useless
though being superficial does have substance
but it is not i want
and somehow
i dun have it either
okie
no luck
no looks
no sales
i shall blame it on bad location
but she sold 3 in a day within 6 hours
okie
it is me
but the rest?
they sold some
if ade sold some today,
at least 1...
i would be so demoralised
y do i always have to wait till the last moment b4 good things befall on me
i dun have all the time in this fucking world i realised!
and only one song rings in my head now!
it's my life,
it's now or never
i aint going to live 4ever
i should go and sleep
it is getting into me BADLY
12:29 AM |
|
i am feeling so confused
so confused
i think i am way too tired to think
now,
my brain is somewhat
90% shut off
yeap
shut off
not even standby
just great
i will be so bz
that i can ignore all things
and jus workwork!(that sounds like the peon!)
*shakes head*
12:06 AM |
|
Sunday, July 06, 2003
decided to dedicate a post to my teacher
hahaha...just happened to see ya
though i din manage to call ya,
but it feels weird to see ya again
haha
it really revokes those JC memories
queer fellow u were
haha...i should say ur dress sense is rather
non-conventional
haha...
oh well
we tok alot too hor??
so weird,
u would always bully me...
really
BIG BULLY TEACHER!
u had fun, i was suffering!!!!!
haha
i think the times when we 4 and u were working on CAMP DOVER
those were special to me and the other 3 too
haha...and i have to be middleman to contact the 3 for u
CRAPPY!
when i got back to see jc again,
(yesh, that was way after i went back for RT
and how u would comment how unfrenly i was
u CANT BLAME ME!!!! *raising eyebrow*)
u got transferred out then
then somehow, lost contact
a pity i would say
oh well
nevertheless,
wish u all the best
walk ur path well
and i guess
u can be very happy person!
open ur big eyes (though ur eyes very big already!)
=oP
1:17 AM |
|
another big thank u to yanxu!
thanks for the oldies?!?!
really thank u..
listening to them has actually made me sane
and definitely happier
listening to the rhythm of the falling rain
telling me wat a fool i've been
pitter patter
pitter patter
i am so darn cold now,
with no air con, no fan running at all
saw my acjc Pe teacher,
but he was walking very fast,
with a nice looking lady
they were holding hands
he still looks the same,
and haha...as good looking as ever though
he should be 31 yrs old this yr
wish him all the best and
may he knows where his happiness lies
though he would preach to me about life?
wat a joke life can be somehow!
all the best, my dear teacher
*winkz*
still feel crappy,
wanted to walkwalk after work
then later,
dunno y felt super extra
or wat..
just feeling that i need to be left alone
kept quiet
sometimes i pity my fren,
she listens to me whine like hell
esp all those bottled stuff
and becoz i dun say
then when i do,
i churn them out like a waterfall
i think i need to stop such terrible whining
i should
and i think i will have to
wish myself luck too
to be able to find my direction
yeah, to u Mr Tong,
if u still know huihui now,
u would be shocked!
=oP
oldies running behind again,
feeling tired,
maybe tomolo after work,
i will go for a walk
to breathe again
12:46 AM |
|
Saturday, July 05, 2003
interesting on how pple judge one another
we never knew love till we get burnt?
but y?
u can never be some1 u always love
coz it always hurts so much
u only end up w some1 u like so much
and so much more comfortable
but maybe becoz it takes that journey to realise wat love is
then we truly understand the meaning of it
so in the end,
we dun chase it anymore,
coz of our true understanding,
it just comes naturally
i wonder wat is the taste like
how can we sit back and relac
to know wat love is
we must know the pain of it
then we will really appreciate the beauty of love
put urself thru the test,
no matter wat,
u will survive all the pain
coz after which,
it is happiness
i wonder if it would be just a dream
but better than nothing
coz u wanna some1 who loves the way u r
no matter who u will become
and u will be so comfortable
that u forget that u r u.
a penny of my thots
dunno if love can set u free
it is supposed to set u free
not make u feel tied down
like a trapped bird in a cage
love opens the door of freedom
to where u fly where u wanna to go
it guides
it doesnt destroy
wat a utopia
1:38 AM |
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| Your Ultimate Purity Score Is... | | Category | Your Score | Average | | Self-Lovin' | 96%
Never taken out of the packaging | 64.4% | | Shamelessness | 100%
| 79% | | Sex Drive | 94%
The Pope is envious | 77.2% | | Straightness | 92%
Just go fuck something, okay? | 44.2% | | Gayness | 100%
| 82.7% |
| Fucking Sick | 100%
| 89.6% |
You are 94% pure
Average Score: 72.1%
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haha...dear...i am just alittle below kelvin..but somehow...our sex drive and straightness is just...alike?
haha...
wait till i have a fling....i tell ya....my score will DROP
LIKE HELL
1:26 AM |
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Friday, July 04, 2003
it is so darn nice
sleeping on a rainy day
it is so nice
i woke up,
refused to get out of bed
and i just
hugged my bloster
and cont'd to stare and stare
it is so comfortable that i fell asleep again
but getting out of bed means
facing reality
i think it is time to plan properly
life is going to be alittle tough on my side!
oh well...
and i havent really told any1
wat is going on...
i wonder if i can take it?
think so,
it wouldnt be that bad
but preparing for the worst...
*taking a deep breath*
gotta move ur butt, kid!
12:29 PM |
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u know wat?
i am missing him now!
after smsing about the work
CRAP la
i cant never forget how he would say ".....GIRL ah!"
haha
so cute
okie
enuff
i think,
i should stop thinking about our
chanced meeting
and, how he went
"gtg..hope to see ya soon"
right
hahahaha
1:21 AM |
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Thursday, July 03, 2003
think my parents are getting an early retirement
which means
i better start giving piano lessons
haha..so i get less money from them
hrmm
i wonder how much to take to reduce my allowance
think i take the most 2??
think i will consult my piano teacher soon
hahaha
11:41 PM |
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another day where i missed out the whole morning
tired
where the sun rises,
only after i have entered dreamland
and i only see its face
when it is the smallest
hahahahaha
2:13 PM |
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my headache is getting alittle worse
thinking too much things liao
i gotta slowly let it go dont i?
i cant possible stay pretty *AHEM* like this
missing out all the beauty sleep every nite
this is getting nowhere
i would have to stop pondering too much
watever will be will be
the future's not for us to see
i am trying to focus on this
while
universe inside ur heart
u gotta let me know
so u can be free baby
u wanted it so much and now it is over
u dunno wat u want
coz u know baby
well u know baby does it right?(x2)
u will only end up lost in loneliness
and wake up with the words already
on ur lips
so i'll let u go, baby
so i'll let u go
is running behind somewhere
OUCH!
1:52 AM |
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having insonmia again
and having throbbing headache
though tomolo is another off day,
i have to slog behind this laptop
and type type type
life
haha...
mind was in complete blank at work
at home
the only time i felt better was when i starting to enter data
maybe i will go swim on friday b4 i go work
no more mood or inspiration for poems for the past week
think brain is fried..nono...frozen at work
and that silly skirt
haha....oh well..
to get the demo sets,
i have to look pretty and beautiful to that idiot
fine.
i am sure, i wont get it
never mind then
i am sick of the phones anyway!!
but hopefully i can get commission soon
coz it has doubled liao....
lalalala
i cant believe i am toking about work
coz that is the only life i have now
interesting
feeling super crappy now
and i think my employer paid me alittle too much
even steph thot so too
but we are going to print them out and see how things go
hahaha
i dun mind receiving more money for the kind of work i do
stare and freeze
not bad for a job?
brainless,
u tok nonsense
and then, u walk around hunting for new clothes to try on
then the cycle goes on again....
*i am huihui the frozen promoter*
1:32 AM |
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Wednesday, July 02, 2003
universe inside ur heart
u gotta let me know
so u can be free baby
u wanted it so much and now it is over
u dunno wat u want
coz u know baby
well u know baby does it right?(x2)
u will only end up lost in loneliness
and wake up with the words already
on ur lips
so i'll let u go, baby
so i'll let u go
suddenly, jo
i understand this part of the song
finally
"u wanted it so much and now it is over
u dunno wat u want"
in the end
i am going to end up like this
i am not kidding man
1:38 AM |
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sitting here
preparing to go to bed
listening to all my favourite savage garden songs
i knew i loved u, truly madly deeply, universe, i dunno u anymore
it sounds super weird now..
maybe becoz i havent got to hear it for sometime
it is nice afterall
damn nice
the yellow desktop light
my black laptop
music slowly echoing out from the speakers
the fan blowing behind me
typing every now and then
a weird feeling is overwhelming me now
maybe it is intuition
but some things u just dun question
like in ur eyes
i see my future in an instant
and there it goes
i think i've found my best fren
i know that it might sound more than a little crazy
but i believe
there's jsut no rhyme or reason
only a sense of completion
and in ur eyes i see the missing pieces
i'm searching for
i think i've found my way home
and when the stars are shining brighly in the velvet sky
i'll make a wish to send it to heaven
then make u want to cry
the tears of joy for all the pleasure in the certainty
that we're surrounded by the comfort and protection of
the highest power in lonely hours
the tears devour u
oh can u see it baby?
u dun have to close ur eyes coz
it's standing right here b4 u
all that u need will surely come
u know jo,
i never believe in promises
never,
coz i think
it is just lies
all terrible lies
for us to hold on so tight,
and like the game hangman,
every moment after the promise is made
we slowly build that gallows
that sent us to death
how horrible
i can never promise any1 anything
i can only try my best
1:10 AM |
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haha
it is cosmic fate isnt it?
met him on the streets and
it was twice in a day within the same building
tian ah
and it is making me super happy?
toking to him makes me crap super alot
and
haha
we just suaned each other like mad
oh no!!!!
=oP
this is so cute
though i din bother to ask his icq
see no point
but
haha...
hrmm
i enjoy toking to him
*girnz*
oh man,
i am blushing toking about it????
MADNESS
imagined i was standing at the escalator
twice about to leave and then
we started to tok on a NEW topic and i have to stand away
till,
hrmm...he has a msg and i have decided to go and find xinxin
whose is working her first day
haha....
nonsense
okie
i am mad liao
it is making me happy
it is damn hard to meet even my close frens on the streets
i have to meet him
RIGHT
12:04 AM |
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Tuesday, July 01, 2003
haha another inspiration,
definitely not the loo this time
=oP
suddenly recalled,
after hearing wat my parents have said just now
so weird,
how my parents are so loving now,
like some young couple in honeymoon period
then my piano teacher told me that too,
that her parents used to argue with alot of things,
like the house, children, money
and now,
they are one of the loveliest couple around
my parents slogged their lives away,
to provide me wat i have now,
so thankful
so in some ways, though not quite perfectly
i would do little things back,
as to show my appreciation
taking that they are grandpa and grandma now,
it seems their children have grown up
with me graduating in 2 yr's time,
they dun seem to have much to worry
except hoping to see me and my er jie happily married?
and now,
they have nothing to worry but indulge in retirement
and spending last moments with each other
it really touched me into my heart
the little jokes they cracked esp when my father farts?
the things they would do for each other,
the love and concern,
it makes me understand how they truly deserve this big break after 31 yrs of marriage
they were patient
they were tolerant
and now, they are in love with each other again,
stepping into a higher stage of togetherness?
so cool right?
hehe...sometimes..this would make any1 wanna get married
and grow old together
the kind of company they gave each other
the every bit goes a long long way!
wat a journey,
well taken,
brave and strong-willed
so hey, pple out there who are married
divorcing is just an excuse for u to run away from responsibility
esp when u have children
u cant even face a problem and find a soln,
u chunk it aside
look at ur elders
they have come further than u
they got thru it,
y cant u?
u reap wat u sow
nothing is easily gained
just jo would say,
u can have everything in this world,
but u cant buy love
J.Lo sang "love doesnt cost a thing"
the kind of love and patience that parents put in
would ultimately sink into ur children,
and they dun cost a cent, but sweat
just remember,
everything in the house,
is part of ur children
hold on,
storms are bound to be over
dun just think how unfair life is to u,
it is so to EVERY1
make it possible,
and a pleasant journey home
back to where u should belong,
yeah?
1:13 AM |
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just went to visit the loo
and it seems that i always have inspirations there
haha...hrmm...dun think it is gross right?
suddenly, i see lots of things
realised wat i am up of now,
at least, see myself in a better light
and pple around me who somehow,
in a way or another, helped to reveal that to me
jo, i have no idea how much i would do for love
u would chase it wont u?
i dunno, i think to me
it is,
if it comes knocking at me,
i will take it if i like, if not,
it is something i am not chasing after.
it is like a butterfly fluttering around.
u try so hard to capture it with ur net,
and even though u have caught it,
it could have broken wings or hurt in a way,
and secondly, it is sort of captured,
not of willingness
the butterfly is most beautiful when it gently lands on u,
either on the shoulders or ur body,
fluttering its wings at u,
and circles around u,
forming such a natural, pretty picture
this is not becoz i am scared of getting hurt
it is definitely nice to have some1 hugging u at nite,
sharing with u all joys and pains, protecting u
and so on,
but maybe, to me,
also becoz of my work now,
make me realise wat i am made of now
doing things on my own
even as u hated it (yeah, u and yanxu)
going home alone, watching movie alone
not becoz i loathe company
definitely not!
and not becoz i am AS
haha....that isnt me,
just that,
it has become part of me
or something i grow to appreciate.
a different path i choose to take i guess
it doesnt feel lonely at all?
to those who are reading my blogs,
u guys should know me la,
i am glad u guys still stand around me
maybe becoz of the common interests and likes we have
also becoz we share that frenship and treat it dear as for now.
feeling better now,
definitely not angry or wat,
but of certain calmness
good sign for me
a better of control of my emotions
standing taller again!
those who saw me in depression...
good news hor?
=oP
to those who yearn for love,
no worries,
it would come one.
u gotta believe it,
u fall once, twice,
doesnt mean u keep falling
but maybe start a new direction, and things would be better
as wat the song goes
que sera sera,
watever will be will be,
the future is not for us to see,
que sera sera
indeed, the future never unfolds in front of us
only now does.
*hugs*
12:37 AM |
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