for a world that doesnt exist
for a universe that stands still
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DAILY INSPIRATION:
this day, i pray
this day, i smile
this day, i wish u all the best!
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wat u want to abt me?
and why?
how much can u find out,
when i dun even know
who i am?
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Tuesday, September 30, 2003
oh since it is my blog
i can post anything i like
but becoz a handful of my frens read this
so like,
watever regarding them
i usu pick of wat to say
wat a restriction
hahahahahahaha
then again
there isnt much to comment lor
hrmm
i remembered my auntie said just now
aiyah...u confirm got alot of suitors la
blahblahblah
hahaha.....and i have to go
NO?!?!?...WHERE GOT??
then i realised,
a few of my aunties said that liao
bish
let me take a good look ard me...
hahaha...suitors?
wat suitors?.....errr.......
okie..i dun see anyone outside my door
hahahahaha
then suddenly
i remembered....
i was reading some1's blog
shant say whose..heehee
the person went abt tao hua yun
or i would rather go
tao hua jie?
hahahahaha...
luckily
i sort of got out of that phase
but then again
when i say that...
SHIT
durian season again
yeah...mao...u hear me
murphy's law
hahaha...
and u know
WHO CARES??
hahaha......
and i am NOT FEELING SOUR FOR HAVING NO SUITORS
i rather not know
somehow...hahahahahhahaha
coz i only knew when,
when the thing is over...
so,
u know...i have learnt my lesson
wat's the pt of knowing something that is over?
for it cant change anything.....
really...hmmmm
it does feel good to listen to songs that make u feel so relax
u never know how it feels to be bursting w life each min
within this body out of the soul
i am always searching for universe that lies within me
and i am not trying to sound like some romantic freak
pls...i am not
i am indeed searching for that universe
i am universe
universe is me
maybe i am still feeling lucky that i am still breathing
though many things have soured my mood
but who cares
even sour things like vingear tastes so good to me
this is bullshit
this is crap
who cares
it is my theology
my philosophy
at least i am sane enuff to face myself
11:29 PM |
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dunno wat to write today
just knew i was in a very f**king mood
till my eye candy tried to start a conversation w me!
hahahaha
by then it was 6pm liao
goodness
watever
nothing much
just thinking...
WATEVER
11:14 PM |
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Monday, September 29, 2003
heehee...i did survive watching F1
IT WAS SUPERB!!!....
really..u guys should have watched it
real drama for the 1st 30 laps
gosh
montoya actually, in a way, got barri out in the 1st lap
while barri in 2nd placing tried so hard to hold back those behind him
and allow schim to get past him to be in 4th instead of 7th??
wah...winner....then my heart sank
ferrari is going to lose their constructors' championships
then there was a turn of events...
actually alot lor...
just that schim managed to get into 3rd placing then
dropped back to 7th??
then u know wat??
it started to rain....
then the dry tyres are of danger!!!
then suddenly,
schim jsut got out from his 1st pit stop and got recalled back after 1 lap
and changed to wet tyres??
he sped like hell
control, fastest lap speed
blahblah
then u know.
the rest of the best constructors followed suit...goodness..i cant believe it
but the rain din last very long and thus the track began to dry up esp
along the driving path of all the racing cars...goodness
u know......then the tracks all dried up?
schim with sheer luck and skills,
he managed to stay 1st with his wet tyres on dry road and he just sped
and sped and sped
wah lau
i think all the drama was cool
ended up
the rain, external factors came down to help the ferrari team??
coz in the end
most teams only left with one racer on the track
that goes to merz and BMW...
but then again montoya cun get his 5th placings though he clocked the fastest lap
left with schim and rakkikoen....
hahaha.....
JAPANRAND PRIX
hehehehe
suddenly i wanna drive again...
hahahahahah
and got another prezzie today!!!
it is a puny book birthday qoutations
i love this quite alot
the older u get,
the more impt it is not to act ur age
hahaha....i am totally amused leh!!
11:02 PM |
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heehee...today did only a bit of lecture notes!!
u cant blame me mah....my bday leh
so i decided to get out of my house and enjoy abit of quiet time
and was so happy and felt really touched when i first woke up
and stepped in to the kitchen
that my mum shouted.."sheng ri kua le"
heehee...i was happy u know??
thanks mum
then my dad was like..err muttered it to me
hahaha...then again....my dad more shy la!
heehee
was smiling while walking to the toilet...hehee
at least it is great to hear that
heheheheheh
then silly darling joanna thinks i am out w some person having a hot date??
so she din ask me out?
hahaha...dear....who else wanna to hot date me except u???
and i wont wanna hot date any1 except u too....
hahahha...
okie i admit
I AM NOT LESBIAN!
anyhowz,
grabbed my book and yeah
went coffee bean at HV...1 of the places i like..
then ordered this raspberry cheesecake that tasted so heavenly!!!!!!
then reading my solitaire mystery..till some1 called.....
and complained he cun hear me....*looking at mdarling*
haha..and u know wat??..i have to rush out..and leave my half uneaten cake
and drink there.....
and off looking for a place with GREAT reception
haha
afterall.....lijie called from USA and took great pains to try to contact me....
like telling my sister..."i am her good fren calling from usa..so...can i have her mobile hp no?"
hahah....u know wat...i bet my sister must be thinking...
"u my sis good fren dunno her hp no?"
EERPPSSSSS
but lucky she gave u ah!!!....*grinz*
hahaha....
BUT ANYHOWZ
appreaciated u calling me, dear!!!!!!!
*hugs*...yeah...waiting for u to come back ard x'mas patiently
and nope..i wont "run" away??!?!!!
then i was super bored and dumb to think that F1 starts at 8pm
forgetting indianapolis is 13hrs later....FAINTZ
think it is going to start another hr or so...maybe i will watch it then
while doing some work?
hahahaa
haha...
and yeah....
dunno liao lor
birthday wish some1 asked me..
dunno leh....
hahahaha
i told him
just wanna be happy
correct right?
heheheh.....*smilez*
oh okie...now i am aiming to complete some work this week
while trying to meet kelvin up
so paiseh for not able to meet u up
heehee...
okie..think i am toking too much crap
maybe i am tired..
hahahahaha
BREATHE
1:39 AM |
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Sunday, September 28, 2003
haha..i just cant take it
hahaha..going to add a poem instead??
happy bday
the world revolutes every time
it was flat and now it is round
the world was at the centre
and now it is just a tiny nothing
the day u blossomed
the day u whithered
the day u returned home
every yr, every happiness
each regret, each decision
a teardrop, a smile
defiance to the end
inhalation to live
just for a day of remembrance
just for a moment of wishes
a name well sounded,
a face strange to others
"can u pls excuse me?"
hail to the birth
treason sent u to death
but ur presence, has changed all that
ur wails in those sheets
rocking gently in the wind,
ur gentle touchdown said so much
and ur voice is so appalling
a body with soul
a soul with emotions
till this day,
i wish u all the best
for u have thus grown so far
boundless skies, beyond those clouds
u r reaching for,
just shines forever
1:25 AM |
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happy birthday to myself!
hehehe
though not in a gay and light mood
should say in a terrible mood but still
thanks to all who wished me a happy birthday
appreciated it alot alot!!!
thanks ah!!!!!!
oh well
dunno wat to add..
dun feel like spoiling the mood of today's blog..heehee
so i am just going to leave it like this
heehee
12:53 AM |
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Saturday, September 27, 2003
My inner child is ten years old!
The adult world is pretty irrelevant to me. Whether
I'm off on my bicycle (or pony) exploring, lost
in a good book, or giggling with my best
friend, I live in a world apart, one full of
adventure and wonder and other stuff adults
don't understand.
How Old is Your Inner Child?
brought to you by Quizilla
and hahaha...am i not proud to be so!!!!!!
10 yrs old RULES!!!!!!!!!!!
hahahahahaha
1:37 PM |
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oh yeah..correct
alwyn and sab....
hahahahaha....
again on my matchmaking service thingy
but hey guess wat?
it is just expanding ur social circle!!
and i was TOTALLY AMUSED BY THE WAY THEY ARGUED?
hahahahahah
all i did was
LUFF AND LUFF
hahahaha
cute..
and i will never forget wat sab said some time back
"u know..sometimes loggerheads end up together becoz,
they confronted each other's flaws first..and grow to accept them"
hahahahahahaha
okeiokie
i am just kidding
coz
both of them are always up for challenges and arguments
hahaha....
FAINTZ.....
1:12 AM |
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heehee
and mark
u know wat?.......kosheen is a damn cool band
i love this song that is found on my flingner
hahaha....how i wish i have cable and d/l like hell???
hahahahaha
think i should just dig my savage garden again and listen to it
fond memories?
nah..dun have....
just great songs
to a great but tiring nite
hahaha
and coz...wah.....i know i will enjoy studying?
who says i dun..sometimes..it is the STRESS
hahahaha.....
should add tag board soon dear...
BREATHE OKIE??
1:07 AM |
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finally met one of my bestest frens back in MGS
sabrina...
and my bday present was a great one!!!!!
small balloons within small ones...
9 of them
5 pink and 4 purple!!
they are really cute and definitely great gifts
she made them herself..
i really love them!!!
better than flowers...
hahah..i was like holding it like a trophy?!?
hehehe
and along with it came this photo album
so cool
she added some great memories...into it
ahhhh..
how dear...i miss those mgs dears..
i cant wait for crhis to come back
and have fun!!!!
how?..hahaha...i am feeling SUPER TIRED
and my dark rings are getting worse
but u know wat?..i feel happy today
eating sushi tei with sab dear...
heehee...
1:02 AM |
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Thursday, September 25, 2003
sometimes..i think it is interesting to keep ur options open
and now i am tempted to work in a pharmcuetical firm
hahahahhaa
11:40 PM |
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read mark's blog...interesting
guess he is some1 who really cares abt frenship
and he cherishes them very much
*salutes*
was reading ray's too..
interesting qoute u have here
and here i am
being a free thinker
only holding onto this thot
the whole world can forsake me
but i can never give up on myself
the whole world can ignore me
but i can never not care abt myself
i will stand tall
and tide thru every storm,
coming out each time stronger, tougher
i cant promise myself much
but at least the only promise to myself is
i will try my best.
no one can care all the time abt u
just like i cant care abt u all the time
at least i take care of myself well enuff
even if i meet obstacles, i will stand upright
for i face it with a clear conscience
with a determined heart
i guess i see some direction and feels better now
now wat i need to deal w
is insecurity
as u grow older, u lack security
but as i grow older
i become more dependent on myself
emotionally, intellectually, physically
i dun need to be pretty to be me
i dun need to be smart to be me
i dun need to be thin to be me
i just have to be happy to be me
i miss that patch of field behind my house
where i have had laid on,
now sits the makeshift market
in the middle of the night
me just being the universe
and universe being me
the stars singing to me
the sky painting me
it felt like
home
maybe that is y my operator logo goes "universe me"
and my gal frens in my class would go
wat u mean?
i just said...dunno?
hahahaha...
being me
they would just go
haha..u boliao ah!
and i never pierced my ears
coz i dun want to
at least not now
i still like my ear lobes, free from "fishing hooks"
*giggles*
1:02 AM |
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hear see feel
the party i went,
din have any music
the gallery i visited
exhibited no art
the hurricane that past me
stirred not even a single hair
calm ur heart
and u will hear the beat
close ur eyes
and u see the picture
stand very still
and feel ur hair waving
i can hear
i can see
i can feel
the music
the picture
the wind
as my soul settles
as my heart accepts
as my mind rests
12:41 AM |
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i always think i am never failure when
i fail my tests where every1 else pass
i dun get my second lower honours
but i think i am now a complete failure when
my parents dun trust me and my decisions
sometimes, i think i brought it upon myself
thinking sometimes..being completely truthful doesnt bring much help
only hinder
dunno, i am so disappointed with myself
but wat can i do?
i seem rebellious
watever i do, is never right
or worse is always wrong
so wat is there to bridge at all?
communication?....beats me
yeah
i am such a failure
not to let my loved ones, my family even believe me
sometimes,
it really really hurt
even some1 tries to slam me in public,
but i can dun care
but it hurts so much
when ur family dun understand
but i dun blame them u know
i still think i am the one who brought it upon myself
oh well
i feel so bad getting pissed at my dad
yet cant i even feel sad or angry at all?
wat a torment
i am tearing up my soul up u know
sometimes..
it is not that we dun live up to their expectations
or to our own expectations
but i think, it is me who expect them and judge them
i expect to be this kind of parents,
but they arent
wat a unfilial daughter i can be hur?
now i know y it hurts so much so much
*SIGHZ*
12:32 AM |
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Wednesday, September 24, 2003
think i am way too tired
and i am so convinced that my cousin, by now
should be SUPER AMUSED BY ALL MY POSTS NOW?!?!
sometimes, u just think of him out of the blue
it is all onesided for my case...
so y does it hurt so much then?
and i do mean THEN, not now
but it doesnt matter now
sometimes
once in a blue moon
u will think of him again
not becoz u havent let it go
and i am definitely not finding an excuse
but it was more like a regret in life
that u r reminded always
i dunno
that is how i see i
how abt u pple?
guess my fren wanna hate him now
coz she loved him once afterall
how apt to say
love begets love but also hate
maybe in life,
never hate pple u love
never hate the things u chose to do
never hate those promises that were never fulfilled
in the end
u hate urself
and shaowei reminded me something
"god only helps those who are willing to help themselves"
how sweet that is
only u forsake urself
if u condemn
whether u learn or live it or not
i think all isnt worth much thot
only another step on
no matter wat,
the sun still shines
no one tells the sun when to rise or set
just like no 1 tells ya wat u should do
only by nature, ur intuition
1:27 AM |
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and forgot
i was mssing him so badly that i wanna die
okieokie
not really die la!
must be that day at harry's
all the memories flooding back at the same time
hahahahah
somehow..
i can never forget that smile of his
somehow..
i hate it in a way that he has set that yardstick
and yet i know i cant find some1 like him
hahahah
how dumb right?
and y do i still look for him in others?
but not now i guess....
hahaha...
i see shadow of him sometimes...esp today at lab
hahaha..must be missing him too badly
but i always blame it on insufficient sleep
i was SUPER TIRED TODAY???...
really cant think and read and do my lab properly
then my mind is just him him him
hahahahaha
sometimes
sometimes
hmmmmmm
1:12 AM |
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sometimes
sometimes all the time in the world
cant beat that very moment i dream of u
sometimes when i close those tired eyes
they sparkle when i see ur image
sometimes walking that street again
let me breathe u again
sometimes that box under my bed
is left open with leaking memories
sometimes every heart beat sounded
i thot it was u beside me
sometimes every hug i receive
cant compare ur pair of strong arms
sometimes that smile i see in that photo
sends me to heavens
sometimes i never knew y i still let u go
i guess i dun have a choice
sometimes i wonder if i am a fool
or u r the fool, or both?
sometimes i wish i can love u again
but then, i am still loving u
still loving u,
not sometimes
but always
-super inspired somehow when i was listening to some things in life in r'ship
and some love songs just melted me away...-
12:57 AM |
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things are great!!!
hahaha...act the fool
shake ur tailfeather!
wat the f**K?
hahaha...okie i sensor myself
getting out of the very very vuglar mood liao
hahhaha
oh well
my galfren told me
all men are liars
lying thru their teeth
they are bastards assholes
treating r'ship like cheap stuff
dunno...
do u agree???
then again
i would say
know the game girl,
yeah i hate to use the word "game"
but it is siah...
this world
it is co dependent....
so f**k it...
if he wanna drops u,
forget it.
move on...show him u can live BETTER w/o him anyway
that is all i can say
hahaha...
fuck up this world
men and women
it is u pple dun understand each other
u r meant NOT TO UNDERSTAND
now
i truly graps the meaning of it
12:27 AM |
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Tuesday, September 23, 2003
i cant believe the next F1 prix is at indiana!!!!!
mdarling..how i envy u
arghhhhhhhhh
i wanna to watch!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
2:52 PM |
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Monday, September 22, 2003
i cant believe it
my gal frens in CN3 wanna drag me to pierce my ears
hahahahahhahahaha
OH MY GOD!!!!!
*faintz*
i am definitely not mentally prepared and thinking the outlook of it
i am going to die
*DIED*
10:26 PM |
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Sunday, September 21, 2003
finally touching on my so called nostalgia
hahaha...
dunno...thinking alot of things...must be last nite at harry's again
haha..but it was fun toking to those pple ....hahaha.....
was getting home from kel's house
suddenly missed some1 badly...hahha...yeah my crush la!
hahha..but then again...nothing wrong with that u know
haha...so weird siah...but hehehe...suddenly everything coming back to me
oh man, hahaha....alot of things going thru my head now...and damn i din have sufficient sleep for the past few weeks already
but then thinking bad every now and then, esp during that few hours of interview and SOXAL, yeah it was good in a way
hahaha..dunno....
haha..i missed hiankai's house and those days we were playing bridge/mahjong in his room or dining area
then i missed sa1 days when we slacked like hell?..bridge at least 5 times a day b/w breaks and during lessons!!
hahaha..heehee...yeah...we played bridge during lessons...gosh..and the whole class..goodness..playing it just b4 A levels?
hahaha.....yeah that was how nuts we were???and never forget the class silliness
hahahha..and of coz how jo and i come out with stupid hypotheses and hahahaha...
"up down left or right?"
hahaha...goodness..and henky..smilemsimile...treating him like a girl ahhaha...kim jo i would always call him the 4th girl in our gang
hahaha...yeah....wendy would then scream every now and then when any huge insect flies ard the classroom
hahahha......oh well.....how memorable?....the classroom that has the SA1 smell..
how not to miss that man?!?!?!??!
suddenly missed those days walking up that slope of mine to MGS, as my parents drove past bt timah today
missed those days when i actually take my slow steps up, then eagerly entered the classrooms to find my frens...
sab christina chun foong yilin ellen cheryl belinda huimin tracy
hahahaha...quite alot hor.....and usu gang is chris sab me ber chunfoong yilin ellen
hahah..and dunno....we tok alot of shit..guys to teachers
bitching abt this and that....sharing great moments together in an all girls' school,
changing in the classroom.....hahha.....for Pe lessons...so who cares siah?
and how choonie and i would spend 1 whole week after school mugging for chinese o levels at KAP!!!
and of coz...both of us got A1 for that okie!!!! somemore 1st try lei!!!
hahahaha....thinking back..it wasnt that bad
those i sort of remmeber the silly and happy things
but there were bad moments too
but then again..haha..being very positive again....who cares....but glad that i have grown to be stronger
happier(not sure abt that yet...winkz), definitely more "matured"(hate to use this wordbut heck it)
dunno leh..hahhaa....i jsut wnana thank alot of pple and things
family is very very impt to me u know....though yeah, always have problems in the house..but which house
doesnt have that?...
thank u parents in a way that i am able to choose watever i wanna to take in NUS...but then again..
i chose eng..how bad could that be in the eyes of parents? heehee...no suan intended here...
haha...at least they provided me with almost alot of things...made me quite an independent girl here
for was home alone since pri2 hahaha.....boy am i not tough heehee...
frens...alot of frens
primary school have alot..but totaly lost touched except for 1 in my fac now...guess coz after PSLE
i chose to go MGS a school none from my pri school went to except me
a few went RGS...but none to MGS
hahha......then again...i learnt quite alot there....esp from the teachers
and weirdly, teachers always have tons of expectations of me....always demanding this and that..
hahah..really...goodness...i arent perfect...yet i was expected at my best all the time?..
but i guess..i have to thank mr chai for enlightening and encouraging me and definitely
gave me the 2nd turning pt in my life
thank u so much it was this sentence that marked the launch of huihui's "intelligence"
"ur maths is quite good.." whilst i was sent to u for tuition becoz i was almsot last in class
it gave me strength and confidence to the fullest and was totally touched then
think goodness....MGS days were really full of ups and downs
hahaha..frenships were having crisis like no1 business
and then...i care so much
haha...and was having trouble adjusting!!!!...and i was in a total wreck
emotionally, i was totally at lost...glad my family was there for me then...hahaha..
onyl when i entered my senior yrs do i started to be more settled and enjoying
hehehe....though i really bitched abt alot of teachers..i have my fav teacher
ms goh....fierce and alot of rumors of her circulating..but heck, she does pick on me and ber and sab
but then again...she picks on every1....hahah..we all are just grateful to her strict attitude in class
and her organised lab procedures....i still used them till this day..never forget those words..how resounding..
JC days were hahaha..definitely more SLACKED YET HECTIC!!!
hahaha....after 4 yrs of MGS,went to ACJC
hahah...goodness.....i was the roughy tomboy in there...but then
i was supposedly "sexy","prettiest in class"..okie that was 1st 3 months..
but hey, i am not ego abt it lor...i was super paiseh..haha...but aiyah
with so called beauty w/o those inner beauty also no use siah!!..so violent...yeah..MGS trademark
hahaha.....*faintz*..but who cares..i was being me
bzbz with alot of things..alot of things happened too..hahah...esp kena tons of rumours with quite a no of guys?
hahaha...again...being a girl who followed soccer since i was young with my dad,
guys were like..."u watched soccer coz of beckham" theory is soo totally wrong k!!!!
hahaha
dunno ah...made alot of close frens there..and still with them
MGS got a few...but we are so bz with our own lives now...hardly keeping in contact
but i still remember how we would meet up at least once!!!...and yeah girls...
i will alwyas be there for u guys okie?.....no matter wat happen
acjc..haha..voiddeckers was definitely a nice group to be in....though something happened
but u know....sometimes...a big heart goes a long way..i guess..it is alittle sanded...but hey
again..u guys are always my dearest frens...and will be there too...
of coz my dearez gor, ephriam wee?..hahha...
and of coz there are a few frens that, becoz of certain situations that occurred that made the frenship
really awkhard..but then.....u pple are still my good frens man....even we hardly tok these days
hahahha.....this fren is always some1 u pple can go " a fren in need is a fren indeed" k?...
take care la....
my class clique..haha....still going strong...just that...1 more overseas
hahaha..hian kai..kim is going back next fri...girl take care ah!!!...ahem...be more controlled!!!
heehee..
of coz not forgetting joanna la....hahaha...
and a few juniors...and yeah...mdarling lor...(b4 he complains i never bother to mention..haha)
nus mates..haha...great to know u guys ah!!!
u know..haha..at least u pple are true pple....so glad to be able to have u guys ard!!!!hehe...
may we can still kepe in touch when we r out of nus..hahaha....
again, will always be there when needed yeah??
heehee...and gavin my 2nd gor...heehee...still waiting for my big gift!!!!!
*winkz*
oh well..dunno....cant remmeber wat i have in mind when i was typing this post
just thanking every1 again...
suddenly felt life is good
remmebered my cousin asked me which is the place i wnana go travel to after i posted him that q?
i went " i wanna travel to space"...and u know i am not kidding
dunno....it sounds dumb..but yeah...but i am always drawn towards the nite sky
if i never go chem eng
it would be physics...and not chemistry??..hahahhaha...really....
life now is keeping focused on studies....family and frens on balance
keeping fit every now and then, trying very hard to sleep well rest well
mentally tired out..but still triyng to hang on there u know
hahaha....
really..life isnt that bad afterall
sometimes....u would feel so alone in this world...but now i dunno,
i do feel that at times, need a little comfort from frens..yet they dunno it at all
coz every1 else is also feeling the same way, or sometimes...too tired to notice
then again, only we can help ourselves right?.....but i am fine now,
sometimes feeling very down and depressed coz of problems i faced every min
but sitting right in front of my lappy, i suddenly see things as they are now....
problems are problems
life is life
life is part of wat problems made it,
life w/o regrets always seem alittle imperfect
life that is smooth sailing is regarded so boring
i sound boring can here my cousin screaming u r so philosophical!!!
but hahaha..hey...at least i put them on words
and in person i am such a crazy nut that pple would be so amused...hahaha..so this is my serious time
hahaha....
dunno...
thinking like my cousins, liwei and ahping(aka jasper) got to be closer to them coz of one unexpected meeting or understanding
it is weird
but i call it fate
sometimes fate plays such a practical joke in ur life that u just would orge and curse it the same time
hahahhaa.....
dunno.....
experience life like u never know life
life isnt life till u see death
y not life is life till u see death
dunno
life is still good
yeah, still good, a little broken here and there
it is still working fine,
though need alot of oiling now and then, certain major repairs
and minor maintenance is done almost every sec
but hey, that soul is functioning very well, and still going strong
may u find ur
soul food
the light that shines ur path
some1 who cares alot
a perfect ambition that suits u perfectly
that tomolo that requires polishing
may god bless and stay chirpy!!!!
i miss and love u guys (this includes my family and relatives)alot
haha..and nope
i am not sucidal nor i am leaving this place 4 good
even so, u cant stop me
hahaha....okeiokie..i am just kidding
oh well
take carez and may ur life is blessed with interesting upcomings
hahahahaha
i am always the angel with that oversized halo, trying to hide those red horns
hahaha....at least i am not boring.....
*winkz*
2:16 AM |
|
continuing now..hahhaa....u know jo,
as long as u enjoy urself can liao
but yeah same sentence
"no 1 can take care of u if u dun wanna to take care of urself"
and i actulaly said that to tuyii....and hahahhaha...bish
oh well...i wonder if we can take care of ourselves?
think so la...hahaha...we are tougher everyday yeah????....*winkz*
watever..hahaha....goodness...at kelvin's party?
it was even worse....opening his present was the drama part!!!
this stupid gift from his army fren...some head massager??
hehehe
it has 8 legs..yeah..u heard me...8 legs...that is made of copper, think almost pure copper?
with a handle attached to it
it looks like a whisk with the ends cut up....hahaha...and we were trying on each other
henky me jo licai and his fren...hahaha
so corny...it was ticklish..henky totally cant take it..esp when i was trying to ensure he feels with it
hahahah..and boy am i good...our dear bday boy actually felt blissful when the thing runs up and down slowly on his crown
hahahha..okie....and i was right..the thing was bought at some adult shop..u get my pt...and on the box it wrote
"legal age of usage is 18" something along that line
hahahaha....corny...the description of the product was even worse..hahaha..kelvin....write it down on ur blog man!
it is super amusing man....and even more amusing to see the reaction of the others when i tried to massge their head
hahahahahhahaha
somehow...it was...hahahha...just plain crap fun.....but hahahha.....wasnt it pple?
hahaha..it was good really good..being silly and stuff and suddenly have this urge to put all these things down in this blog
hahha...another mark
so
heh....those who ahve officially turned 21 liao..how u guys feel ah?..hahahhaha...esp my good frens siah?
mine is in abt 7 days....still 20 yrs, 11 months and abt 22 days old
haha..will post then how i feel.....
hehehe....
and nope..my dear cousin..u wont be able to make me drink that bday of mine!!
hahha
but yeah...is the forbidden city onz?
hehehehehe......waiting!!!!!
maybe i should stay on my nostalgia on the next post...haha...
and today would have the longest posts posted.....and thus
good luck pple...reading wat i ahve to say
and hopefully be done b4 2am..coz i am really looking forward for a good nite sleep
heehee
1:07 AM |
|
happy bday kelvin....forgot abt it yesterday?!??!...too tired liao
and yeah...so sorry for not being there..hahaha.
but then again
i am too blur for further hosting
hahaha
yeah....JO darling better be appreciative siah!!!
haha...i was soooo BLURZ?????yesterday nite trying to run errands??
hahaha....and got pissed with her when she actually drank that class of "watever"
and i was dumb to "allow" her got jsut ate her medicine
luckily nothing happened....thanks to harry's low alcoholic content in their cocktails!
hahah..it was fun in a way...toking abt her and tony among all of us who were standing at the bar!!
hahaha......oh well..i cant believe how interesting it was...hehhe
me lewis mark jasper joey zen kelvin..hahahha..
cool isnt it, dudes and babes?.....i think, we are damn good and giving comments on that couple
hahah...darling..dun blame me.....coz afterall....u 2 really just sat there and hanky panky mah.....hahaha
but hey, tony if u read this......i did tok to u okie??...my PR skills arent that bad right?.....heheheheh
ipoh thingy..will see how..hahaha....clubbing like not for me liao...*tinkz*
oh well...suddenly very funny
got back from kelvin's party
small but nice...hehehe....
i like in a way....u know...dear...hehehe..i knew that ur mum was going to cook curry
hahaha..coz my mum cooked curry for today's dinner..hahahhaha
i am nuts har?
but then again..it was nice..i love the rockmelon sago....great!!
ate 2 full bowls and hehehe..
u know.....i actually went to every single bday party
not leaving w/o smashing cake cream on the bday host
hahahahha
kelvin and jo din escape either
and guessed wat?....when i had my party...my mum SAVED me
hahahahha....count myself lucky and think abt it
ever since J1 after that egg incident on my head on my bday by hiankai
i never got it again....it is heng in a sense!!!!!
suddenly remmeber alot of things, really...yeahyeah..alot of pple will go,
wah lau...getting sentimental again but i dunno...maybe it is another bday party
maybe i will jnust crap b4 touching on my silly nostalgia...but hey
hahah..i am putting down in my blog...be glad i share them
suddenly i am naked....an open book...wat else ah?..hahahhaha...but oh well
it is fun out of nowhere that u ahve frens getting older and u do feel older!!!
and hahaha..licai felt it too...listening to songs belonging to our era and never bother abt 933 anymore
hahaha...
guess wat?...i totally agree..heehee....okie time to switch to "i am old but i still feel young"
hahahah..wat the heck...can hear those who are older than me slaming me, heying me now...heheheh
those who are 22,34,24..dun blame me..i just stepped into adulthood...still adjusting leh...
u know...how much when u strike that transition stage....heehee...give me time
i will be as good as u guys, thinking i am not old and always youthful!
and nope, i am not like jo, who wanna to get married!!!
hahahahah.......and tony went "not young liao....get married" *bish*(and note, i dun go "bang wall"!!!)
hahaha....
tuyii even cornier .."hey..i am leaving liao....u take care of my xiao mei ah!".....hahaha
hey tuyii if u read this....i ensured she is home safe and in 1 whole piece, untouched...
where's my reward??.....jo tell him..i wanna the lip balm free..and instead of 1..i wnana 2
hahahahhaha
i am really crappy now siah!!!
*winkz*
12:46 AM |
|
Saturday, September 20, 2003
oh no i am so tired now...
now at jo's house dunno wat to do but to wait for hair to dry??
hahahahahhaha
okie i am still thinking of him
hahah
he is soo cute..
goodness... hahaha
sighsighsigh
i am so sad.....
y am i always late for such things?
he is soooo darn cute
hehehe
i am so tired
running ard for jo?
settling bills?
settling pple?
hahahah
faintz
machiam my bday like this???
hahahaha....but heck it...hahaha.
i think i can call myself
the miss "PR" liao
faintz..........tian ah...i am so dead
cant believe it man..........
zzzzzzz...........
i need to catch a wink man
still have kelvin's party to kill
screwed up
and i am so sad now....
sigh
sighsigh
hahahahahahaha
i am still reminded of alot of things...when i was toking at harry's
again i thot of somethings again
i am so screwed siah
hahahha..
dunno...
aiyah wait and see
ooi mark and joey!!!!!.....comecome and tag me
hahaha......pokepoke!!!
think maybe i should get a "bf" hor??
hahaha..
cousin.......hahaha..u be my fake "bf"
hahahaha
4:38 AM |
|
hahaha..howhow?
having a crush on some1 now??
hahaha....
he is soooo super cute and thinking of him the whole nite
hahahaha
he looks like my idol lu song sian
hahahha
worse....he has good bod too
hahahahah
DAMN FUCK UP
it is all not meant to be??
hahaha...
never mind
i will wait for my chance??
hehehe
i need a man!!!!!
hahahaha
oh
maybe i am falling in love again
hehehehehheheheheheh
howhow???????
*winkz*
4:25 AM |
|
Friday, September 19, 2003
hahaha
think i am checking out really cool websites!!!
hahaha
blogs i mean
damn
u know
i am in love with him again
hahahahah
300 love letters
and each to diff pple
dear,
maybe both of us can add to it?
hahahahaha
gosh
how can i ever be so blind?
hahahahaha
12:14 AM |
|
managed to get to this page where this girl writes poems
and she qouted
i am not a poet but a poem.
- jacques lacan
interesting
i am indeed a poem
a play
a book
a manuscript
wat say u?
check her place out
ashley
i think i am going to fall in love with a poem
hahahaha
12:05 AM |
|
Thursday, September 18, 2003
hahaha
so lets
SCREAM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
so how u feel man??
11:42 PM |
|
just got back from my mass interview
actually it is quite fun
do stuff as a group
self introduction in "reflective" manner
interesting
dunno
they made us wanna know ourselves better
it is important to know who u r
and how u feel towards that...
hahaha
wat an interview
i enjoyed myself
learnt new things
hahaha
4:14 PM |
|
no longer feeling upset or anything
just feeling good though tired
it felt so good swimming nonstop today
for 40 mins straight
going to brush up my freestyle
somehow i think it is so good to feel bz with school and IA
it is so interesting and more meaningful and definitely
more rewarding than the other stupid stuff in life
at least i dun feel miserable and dun feel stupid
or feel hurt or pissed with so many things that cant be solved
at least i am happier this way
and i know i wont feel empty after i have achieved my aims
coz i know
i have done it
and going on to work on other goals
yeah
hope ur life has a direction
an aim at least, and keep adding them
stress isnt a bad thing
it keeps u going
it never gets u down u know?
take care pple!
*hugz*
12:12 AM |
|
Wednesday, September 17, 2003
dunno wat to write these days
not becoz i am sick of the blog
but brain isnt working towards writing my blog
my brain is full of assignments and assignments
hahaha
maybe i would add on friday
hahaha
see we shall see leh
11:46 PM |
|
today's my darling bday??
okie..it is 12 something
so it was her bday yesterday
may she is still enjoying herself now!!
dunno wat to write
somehow that empty feeling is back again
hahaha
done too much work and never see how come i can actually feel nothing now
coz i have achieved wat i wanna to do liao so yeah
hahaha....slack now??
oh well...it is so isnt it?
got an interview on thursday
hahaha....resume hasnt typed?
gosh....
hahaha..i am jsut going to bullshit it man!
hahahahaha
really
nothing gets into me now?
no more
not even irritating questions abt this and that
not even unanswered tutorials
just be pple
12:05 AM |
|
Tuesday, September 16, 2003
we strive to be perfect
but we cant
we wanna to be simple pple, lead simple life
but we just cant
we want happiness, we crave for it
and sometimes,we fight for it
but we jsut dun have it all the time
we try to set things right all the time
but we cant at all
are humans all selfish?
yeah, coz no matter which pt u try to look at one thing
we are still selfish
regardless u r one who try to improve urself at all times
or some1 who bitches abt every1 else's flaws
u r still selfish yeah?
but i still believe in one thing in this world
my very own beliefs
sounds corny
it isnt
that is wat keeps me breathing and alive
nothing in this world can be trusted,
even ourselves
but at least keep in faith in something
the more pple bring us down
the taller and stronger we stand
dunno
i know i cant be simple minded anymore
i know i cant be too trusting anymore
i know things arent for forever
but still, my philosophy in life is
life is but a dream
a dream u can never wake up to
u can continue rowing in search for something
it is still a dream
merrily, gently down that stream
life is but a dream
row row row ur boat, gently down the stream
merrily merrily merrily
life is but a dream
this is a nursery rhyme
that is sung to my nephew jervis by my sister
very interesting truths told or sang to us since young
we never know its importance till we have totally grasp their meaning
things that will never go out of fashion
never out of style
never lying
and this is life
1:12 AM |
|
suddenly
i feel so lost abt life
where am i heading?
i have my short term goals
my long term goals
they are there
but i am just so lost
r u lost?
12:11 AM |
|
Monday, September 15, 2003
humans
men
women
they are so
so
know it, learn it, live it
and dun get hurt can?
so wat if u have a defense mechanism?
u r just protecting urself
and slowly,
u would realise,
it's not worth of alot of things
and sometimes..
not worth of everything in this world
i guess
every1 jsut has to live w it
not that humans forget
being heartless
it is feelings, the emotions
that let u down
and u know wat a lie and how true it can be
11:59 PM |
|
life
u always need 2 hands to clap
if the other side decides to drop,
whether u wanna to drop,
it doesnt matter anymore
coz when the other side has abandoned it,
the thing doesnt exist anymore
u dun want to drop also cant liao
nothing for u to drop at all
u are stuck there as usual
interesting thot
coz it is like 2 minds, one decision
hahahahaha....
dear....
dun be too engineeredly blonde can?
hahaha....
sounds like some machiam machine barbie doll
haha
not capital barbie
FAINTZ
11:51 PM |
|
oh well
wat a day
dun feel like toking much
dunno y
maybe the purpose of life is
may u work towards ur goals
and feel NOTHING abt it
hahahaha
oh yeah,
NOTHING
so cool
12:26 AM |
|
Sunday, September 14, 2003
oh did i just mention about the great feeling of not missing anything or anyone?
hahaha
usu i would miss to do this and that
miss this person and that?
but nah
now
not even jervis
u know.
think sufficient sleep is soooo impt
and now i am toking abt dirrrrty dancing in clubs
with a fren who just went to a frat party
hahaha....
dirrrty dancing
how to attain innocent dirrrty??
right as if it is possible....
my fren said i am no longer innocent?!
think i should add on
yeah..i lost it since primary school
heehee
it seems a long time since i did that to a guy in a club
and usu
to pple i know..never strangers...
hahhaa.....
maybe next friday yeah dear??
hehehe....
oh well
maybe i am just bored once again la!!!!
dirrrrty dancing not now la
yawn!
strangers too sian liao..coz i dun like guys who come uninvitedly
hahah..only i go forward
hehehe
darn..am i not such a slut?
hahaha....
1:01 AM |
|
wat a day...waited for sunday to come
and it has
oh well..playing with jervis really made me a happy girl
dunno...
hahaha.....the way he would "hug" me when i carry him
hahaha
oh man
i feel like a mother myself
maternal love......unlimited
hahahaha
okie enuff
b4 i am so tempted to get a kid myself
gosh...
so sweet u know
damn
i fall in love with kids
b4 falling in love
hahahaha
cool huh?
enuff said
shopping tomolo for me...
damn i need to get more and more presents!!!!
this is so crappy
i am so darn broke!!!!!
and a nice quiet time with myself
i miss jervis once again
i miss his eyes,
his frowns
his smiles
his silly acts
and even his smell
yeah..full of sweat and milk and more
but yeah
who cares
that is wat i call
the man's scent
yeah okieokie...i am tired i am sleepy...
getting way too tired
at least i am not in foul mood
quiet time at my own table
doing my work
minding my own business...
life is good
12:29 AM |
|
Saturday, September 13, 2003
i am so tired
foul mood too
it is so impossible
but definitely feeling much better now
but weirdly,
i dunno
was feeling super down in the evening
must be that cup of mocha latte again
sometimes..i feel so suppressed
my mum was nagging badly again?
i have no idea?
i was totally noiseless in my room
busy doing my work and there she goes
when i just sneezed, coz my nose got itchy???
been like these for dunno how many donkey yrs?
"u better get that panadol in u today!"
luckily i was on my earphones...
if not, with that foul mood of mine today,
i will really blast at her..
like i did when i was having dinner in front of the tv
my sister went:"oh my, ur dark rings...so dark and big!!!!"
then my mum started to scold again
"u better stop staying up late again in the nite, go and sleep"
i totally erupted, yeah, relaly erupted
as usu, i punched my fist against the arms of that chair and went
"it is not that i never sleep early?????
i cant sleep properly..??????????"
i was thinking...goodness i have been trying to sleep these few nites
but i always get disturbed sleep
she doesnt understand fine
she doesnt know fine
but does she have to say such sweeping statements?
for the past 9 yrs..
yeah almost...
she has been nagging the same old things over and over again
i dunno
i am so tired, really tired of such nagging on me all the time
y?
i dunno, if it is concern or she just cant stand the way i do my stuff
again, i am turning 21, she just dun trust me
she always goes "u think u old enuff, wings can fly liao la....
dun think u r old enuff u can do watever u want..."
wat the fuck i mean,
i am old enuff to make my own decisions
yeah so wat i seem to be rebellious in this family
i am always being truthful to u okie??
i never lie abt my wherebeings?
sigh...
i dunno how to make her see
i have proven to her that i am a nite owl
but somehow it just never shut her up
then again,
i started to blame myself for blasting at her
but i really cant take it
i just wanna enjoy that hr of dinner in front of the tv
and then head back to work
but she just din give me that peace i needed
so i siamed her
b4 745pm i was in the bathroom,
washing my laundry..havent done them for almost 2 weeks..
piling like hell, trying to avoid her so as to avert any more clashes
sigh...
and i started to think alot alot in that bathroom of mine
thinking how i need a holiday
and i tell ya, hopefully that stupid SARS wont stop me again,
i will really get out of this fucking place for a while
leaving EVERYTHING BEHIND,
leave this god damn fucking place and away from all of the things and pple i know
i need a place to recharge me
coz i realised i am too used to this place
my brain has become sat'd and very dense
everything is so regular, so habitual
i cant stand it
i know every single part of my routine so well
i almost wanna jump off that building
okieokie..i am not sucidual unless u give me a cup of super strong coffee
i guess, at this pt now,
i really need to get out
i am not a saint or any enlightened guru
that can solve anything anywhere
i just need a change of environment
a breathe of new air,
somewhat different
maybe shedding some radical light into this cramped mind
sigh
i dunno, yeah some would say
it is a test of life man
it isnt nice to cry in that bathroom of mine
thinking of wat my mum would go when i tell her
"mum, i am going trekking in m'sia with the school"
"wat?...u go for wat...blahblah"
guess wat, i have already planned of wat to do and say
i will break down and go
"pls..i need a break from everything
including u pple...i am feeling so suppressed..i need a holiday..
just pls let me go...b4 i go mad"
yeah
but u know wat?
it wont work on my mum...coz she wont even listen
sigh
not that i wanna to fly away from u my dear mother
but becoz, i need to see this world
my life objective is,
feel life, see life and be life
pple ard this world
nature in this world
is for us to experience
foul or not foul
we never know
we just gotta go out and try
u worry, i know,
but i am always a child in ur heart
but in life,
i am a child of this world
pls just be more supportive of wat i intend to do
for that is a life i am persuing...
we never stop u from stuff, we become more flexible
so can u do the same to us?
i dunno,
mental freedom is only attained
when regardless of where i am,
i am life
but now,
i am not there yet
i am still searching for that piece of soul
bless me
and bless this household
i dunno
i dun like to argue w my mum
it hurts too
but sometimes....it just struck that sore spot
sigh....
reflections when u r reaching a so called legal age
the key to freedom
oh pls,
define that
how come i can be patient with some pple
yet not with some?
sigh...
when can i let it go?
i wonder again
and for those who have been reading my blog diligently,
it seems i have been stuck at this spot for a long long time
maybe in life,
sometimes, somethings, cant be solved or resolved at all
ouch
and
sigh
que sera sera,
watever will be will be
the future's not for us to see
que sera sera
i am singing this song again
luckily there are some good jazz on 95 again
BREATHE
BREATHE
*sighz*
1:32 AM |
|
Thursday, September 11, 2003
test tomolo and yeah
hell would break loose tomolo too
better not rain tomolo
me wanna to swim!!
missed the water and the intensity of swimming
hahaha...
am i not nuts?
oh well...
i need to tan
i need to keep fit
i need O2 for my poor brain which is lacked of sleep and air
howhow?
hehehe
back to book
that silly dark brown book
soon i will swallow the blue and red one too
*faintz*
and jo dear: goodness..ur party like machiam so big
and i am helping u!!???..haha...nownow...u r going to be nice to me u know
*winkz*
10:07 PM |
|
stop
admiration
lust
admiration
desire
admiration
attention
everbeing is prevalent
everlasting is a shortcoming
ever stop admiring?
stop being a lovefool
stop being such a blind bat
stop asking for more
stop asking for less
rendezvous existed in one admiration
only to be killed in the blues
stop kissing a fool
stop dreaming, fool
it never meant to wake up
so stop
i needed a great jazz song now..
and i got it...hahaha
great great jazz piece on 95fm
1:11 AM |
|
Wednesday, September 10, 2003
jsut managed to pop by a fren's fren blog
hahah
u know wat?
NERD!
we all are NERDS arent we?
hahahahahahahahahha
hey dudes and babes!
single and available?
u have 2 choices here!!!!
join
1) singularity (haha just a singles club...cool name hur?)
2) fate creation, heart remedy (yeah...basically, similar to matchmaking serivces and relationship consultation!!!)
oh okie....
1) is run by me and yeah..hahahaha
2) is a joint venture from me and joanna aka summerrainx lor
hahaha...
and hey
i am definitely not kidding
maybe i would just create a forum
but how ah?
any ideas?
drop on my tag yeah??
heheheh
anyway
those who needs our services
do drop a mail
hahahaha
DEAR JO, ISNT THIS EXCITING?!?!
*winkz*
11:59 PM |
|
think john mayer's song is soooo great!!!
hahaha
totally my kind of song!!
hahaha
someday i will soar!!!!!
hehehe
maybe i will roar too
HAHAHAHAHA
11:39 PM |
|
think i am really really dying
everynite
lying on my bed
i stare
i think
i stare
i think
when would i get my next proper sleep?
how i wish i can just close my eyes
and not think anymore
12:04 AM |
|
Tuesday, September 09, 2003
i am so tired
and dazed
till i have no idea wat i was doing?
hahahaha
another bz day coming up
gosh
everyday 9-6 can die
drained forever
11:20 PM |
|
Monday, September 08, 2003
was on my way home from piano
and it was storming
oh okie
hmm
raining cats and dogs!!!
meow...woof...
then was waiting for my bus to get home quick!!!
at the bus shelter
it was really pouring and the wind was blowing real strong
it was pretty chilly
then was trying very hard to hide from the rain
yeah..i was abit shivering!!
haha..at this stage
i can hear some1 saying
it would be nice if some1 is to hug u from the back and cover u from the rain
poor thing..to get drenched to give u warmth and make u feel loved
but then again....the other party gets the same thing
but anyway...diverting again??
i suddenly have this thot
it would be so darn nice to just go run out into the heavy rain and dance!!!!!
i would do it when i have the chance
haha...dun wanna to get too drenched home...with my mum questioning my existence of my umbrella!!
hahaha
oh well
it would be a nice nite to zzz
hahaha
finally
and today i realised
piano lessons
tokign to my teacher
actually gave me saneness
gosh..
hahaha
take carez!
*winkz*
11:58 PM |
|
Sunday, September 07, 2003
just managed go get things straight
and as usu w/o any work done again?
i realised i am definitely a slacker during the weekends?
i only piah on weekdays?
hahaha
sheesh
maybe i need to replan my timetable..
hehehe
oh well
no time to think now
going to hit the books...by 12am
it is piano time
and nope my neighbours will NOT COMPLAIN
'coz my piano is on silencer
BANG!
yeah..to kill u w/o u knowing at all
i am in the dark
and u r in the light
BANG BANG
okie...must be kai's fault
that gun has turned my violence on
hahaha
*winkz*
11:26 PM |
|
my bday coming liao
suddenly, i have decided to settle down to think
21 yrs old
another 9 yrs to 30
hahah...
do i feel old
yes i do
do i feel tired
of coz i do man
am i still young at heart?
oh hell yeah..u bet!
slowly has found the big pictures in life
not much youth left i guess,
at the rate i am going,
i am just sticking to this road yeah?
going to enter the bigger plans in my own private blog
haha....dear..it isnt in the livejournal...dun bother to look there
no wonder pple say that when u hit 21
time flies worse than a rocket to space
thinking i am super comtemplative today,
being writing peoms, sad ones with yearn
but then again,
pple have their ups and downs
have u learnt ur lesson yet?
have u searched and thrashed out all ur doubts?
at least for now?
good luck to all looking for the goals in life
behold
the sun is still shining and rising everyday
and damn...how come we dun have holiday one?!?!?!
listening to symphony 92.4
the whole day, peaceful siah!!!
and damn having terrible cramps now....heehee
*winkz*
11:07 PM |
|
again, a knock
tip tap tip tap tip tap
the leaking tap goes dripping once again
creaky chair, creaky chair
rocking shakily under me
a knock there goes
on the transparent door
the weight on my feet
dragged towards the knock
tip tap tip tap tip tap
how i wish, i can knock on that door
receiving guests every now and then,
where is my host?
come in come in,
welcome and welcome
wat news u have for me?
tip tap tip tap tip tap
the tap still leaks
unrepaired,
untouched
tip tap tip tap tip tap
where's that plumber?
and where is my door?
tip tap tip tap tip tap
2:26 PM |
|
that same old place
jittery feelings up the stairs
excitment overflowed
anticipation with that eagerness,
slowly unveiled the mystery
sweet ambience, fiery wine
flickering flame shining in my eyes
soft sassy music plugging my ears complete
leaning back, tapping, humming
soul revealed itself,
in the most relaxedd form
the homey touch with those soothing songs
left with an impression
right at the exit the gates bade me goodbye
savouring the slightly lit darkness
the heart felt conversations
those comforting words unsound the quiet
memories knocked down the fence once again
it is the story once told again
is it that same old place again?
is the place filled with the same pple?
are the songs played and replayed?
has candle just rekindled by itself?
orh,
it's the same old place
that same old place
2:14 AM |
|
like
dun like
like
dun like
like
dun like
go
dun go
go
dun go
go
dun go
do
dun do
do
dun do
do
dun do
things pple do when they comtemplate
really
hahahah...i realised it
there goes my decision making again
sigh...
but i still think...the decision is final!
i will still carry it out in another manner
that's all!
yeahyeah...it is cool u know?
hehehhe
pretty excited abt it!
*winkz*
1:37 AM |
|
yawn!
time to study! and
sleep
1:34 AM |
|
Friday, September 05, 2003
managed to catch the show
PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN
great show
REALLY!
whoa!!!
heheh...besides drooling over johnny depp and orlando bloom
hehehe
i was imagining myself as a pirate!!!
hehe
gosh cant believe
it is so cool
utterly speechless
and of coz
depp was really corny
jellylegged jack sparrow
hahaha.....cool image he has
so suave, yet with that tint of unkempt
hahaha
orlando bloom...one of my fav actors...
the cool blacksmith or locksmith or swordsmith?
hahaha....
william turner, the only heir
woohoo.....fights like an elegant warrior!
okie okie...fine
i know i am boy crazy
but i am not
just that so cool
the fighhting scene
esp the one b/w jack and rush
they were in this cave
rather open cave
with moonray peeking thru
they would fight and since they are under the curse,
they are undead, meaning...can never die la!
but the moment they are under the moonlight, they will reveal their actual form
skeletons
so as they fought and jumped around
they transformed from human to skeleton and back again!
cool stuff!!
and when they are undead...
they can walk underwater?
wat the heck?
hahaha
fight.....
i love the sword scenes
the balance of the sword
sharpness...cool!!!
and it is produced by Jerry Bruckheimer
producer of CSI Miami too!!!
wahwah
hahaha
okie la
i think it was not bad for a blockbuster?!
hahaa
yeah worth the money i guess!!!!
alot of littel jokes that do require abit of luffing and thinking
hahaha
really
"which is ironical"
hahahaha
gosh
i love the script!
hehehehehe
honesty is a virtue
i practice it
but pple just dun believe me
y?
hahaha
12:08 AM |
|
Thursday, September 04, 2003
i think i sort of have set my mind doing something really drastic
as time comes
a few of u will understand wat i am doing
and most probably
would say how dumb i am to give it up
but somehow
yeah
i am making the decision
not any1 else
it seems selfish
but i think it is the best way
or i think it is the best way
okie for once
i will stop being tormented
it will hurt very badly personally
but i dun care liao
i think i just need to do it
as long as that few of frens wont say i am dumb
dun think so
coz they know, it is my choice
oh well!
hmmmmmmmmmm
good luck to me
i am beginning to feel the pain already
gosh
good that i have found out earlier
hmmmmmmmmmm
12:14 PM |
|
it is so crappy
my IA is in SEM 7
most of my closer gal frens going in sem 6?
and left me and michelle!
and haha..4 more guys in my class
pathetic!
how come ah?
oh well
today was in lousy mood
to foul then back to normal mood
oh great!
wat an upheavel
shant say too much wat pissed me off
will rant that off another blog
where it is more private
hehe..jo u can see la!
of coz...
sometimes
i think life does like to play a practical joke on u
how can u avoid?
...u cant at all
i just wanna play a normal part
but i think it is impossible at times
hahaha...
dunno
humans are really funny
humans are insecured creatures
they all need individual level of security
i guess it is yeah?
oh well
going off to catch CSI Miami!!
forgot abt it!!
ARGH
tata!!!!!!!!!
1:28 AM |
|
interesting
interesting
hahahahhaha
i am so darn amused now!!
GOSHGOSH!
it is a secret
so shhhhhh
hahahhaha
so amusing!!!!!!!
tian ah
wat the heck?
life is interesting yeah?
hahaha
but me so tired
hahaha
reading the stupid Elle's horoscope on 8 days?
so crappy
jo u go read...u read liao..dun luff ah!
i almost fainted!
hehehehe
oh well
tian ah
i need alcohol
12:38 AM |
|
Wednesday, September 03, 2003
oh well
it happened again
but then again
i am not angry anymore
oh well posted some great song lyrics on flingner
it is great isnt it...
i dunno
i love the rock music
and the lyrics fit in so nicely
dunno
i just love them
heck
12:46 AM |
|
sometimes i wonder alot of things
remember b4 i entered dreamland
something hit me really hard
very ahrd
and it hurts alot
but i cant recall wat it is now
weird
but maybe becoz i have grown up
thruout the yrs of growing up
i never know how much i can grow
but i am just know how much i have walked thus far
alot of things in my life has changed
and things do become more discerning than b4
maybe i am able to see that alot of things never last forever
EVERYTHING IN ACTUAL FACT,
NEVER LAST FOREVER
sometimes i wonder y so much things never be able to tide over the test of time
but they just dun
coz things are everchanging
sometimes,
at a turning pt of ur life
for eg taking turning 21 yrs old
the only significance i have,
is to sit down and think thru my life
and how much i have done
achieved
things that made me cry, luff, happy and sad
things i was being such a bitch
things that made me saint
things that made me grow stronger
things that weakened me
i guess, i am still me isnt it?
i will never forget this piece of poem
that was one of the 1st few i actually penned down
i come alone,
i go alone.
wat is loneliness?
if i never knew me?
universe
complicated it may seem, simplicity lacks space to grow.
searching for void to exapnd, claming all energy to a spot.
reaching out to infinity, rooted to a singlurity
where have they gone to, for they have just walked past?
turning to look back, or just looking straight into the future?
dunno, i think too many things are racing thru my head
while i am trying to solve my tut
i dunno wat i am trying to say
nor thinking how many understood wat i have been trying to say
just wondering...
just wondering...
12:18 AM |
|
Tuesday, September 02, 2003
dear
haha...ur blog ah...forever so many?
never check for 5 mins
it is like 5 posts longer?
GOSH
haha...
relac la
hahha...
just let things flow lor
u miss then miss
u wanna numb but yet u know u r numbing
(gosh...stupid cat crying for mate again..EERIE)
haha...u know,
u always think u got over him
in actual fact, u r still getting over him
once in a while,
he pops in ur head
then slowly, it fades away
u thot it is fading again
till something sparks it again
all the pain comes flying and pierced thru ur heart
then u always think
"wat the fuck! such an asshole...bastard...blahblah"
same thing all over again doesnt it?
then somehow,
one day, when u suddenly see something so different
u know,
watever u remember abt him, is just fond memories
fond doesnt equate to good happy ones
but something u cherish and
u no longer hate urself, hate him for ur pathetic situation
u thank him
and jsut smile for all the times u have spent the time together
silly stuff
silly arguments
silly interactions
silly small things that u always remember for life
good or bad,
they just there
u dun feel much
just u know, they are the past,
nicely kept in ur heart
they dun hurt anymore
they just be the way they should be,
well-kept, and preserved
then u have let it go
u wish him all the best
whether u keep in contact
whether u still can see him or not,
it doesnt matter
when other couple or similar situations occur on others
u just luff and go,
"i actually understand how it FELT like"
and it is felt
not feel
interestingn thot har?
dunno,
i guess sometimes
when u have just gone crazy over some1
u cry for him u luff for him
whenever he is down, u feel so much that u wanna hug him
whenever he is so silly,
u just wanna luff and go "u very dumb..but very cute leh"
u r just completely mesmerised by that person
and u only see him in ur world,
regardless many pple in front of u,
u only have eyes for him
u dunno wat it is
pple say it is love
pple say it is love at 1st sight
pple say it is dumb love for it is one-sided
who cares?
i dun care if i know if that is love
i dun care if it is love
i dun care if i am being loved by him
(err..now la..when i was still "in" it..
i was super eager to know...hehe...and i did get my ans din i jo?)
i just wanna be there
and now
i still do
as a fren
though i admit
i will always love him
for being so perfect
always no fail capturing my attention
but i guess
it is a forever crush
something that will never extinguish
it is not a flame
but an everlasting feeling so strong
it just stays there in ur heart
maybe then,
would u feel that u have let go
wishing him all the best from ur heart and soul
and u smile when u see him happy in his own way
with or without u
then u have truly let it go
then maybe some would say,
u have found some1 u have loved
yeah
better than nothing doesnt it?
something so perfect that looks its best when it is from far
i can see every part of it
every point of it
and never get sick of it
maybe that is y
i rather stand this far
and see the picture,
his life on the whole
and admire
12:06 AM |
|
Monday, September 01, 2003
okie time to reorganise my timetable!
been too slacked for piano!
that is definitely not pardonable!
okie to finish this off
and watch tv
time flies like it doesn know wat is flying
it could have just spun into a blackhole
thru the wormhole and end up out a whitehole
not knowing where its destination
may i spin with it,
fly with it
11:29 PM |
|
i hate spiders
hahaha
i realised i have phobia for that
and sorry
my england isnt that powderful to know wat is the name to that
hahaha...
but then again
i ended up not sleeping well at all
gosh!!
hahaha...DIE ah
but heck it
sleeping at the sofa
listening to the waves rushing to shore
the tv sending music thru it speakers
my brain was totally exhuasted
the wind howling outside
once in a while,
ships would sound
dunno
dun feel too homely with that colonial house..
but it is still nice
maybe that is y i din sleep well till exhaustion overtook me
i think
hehe
oh well
and i dun wish to think of some1 too much
and again
i blame it on lack of sleep
hahaha
*hugz*
1:02 AM |
|
suddenly reading my previous blog
i realised,
y the heck did i organise a chalet?
hahahaha....
oh well
i guess i like this present alot
afrum gor made it for me....
a thinking man made of wire
and it is a clip for paper?
haha..dunno wat is the name to it actually
gosh
but it is nice
think on my bday
i need to get out to spend some nice quiet time to myself
haha..
21 yrs old
maybe it seems the key to freedom
hahah...i doubt it lor
oh well
may it be the key to me MENTAL FREEDOM
hahah
thank heavens...
*winkz*
12:57 AM |
|
wat a week!!!
BZBZBZ
just ended my chalet
and every1 bugs me
"y did u celebrate ur bday now?..thot urs in late sept?"
haha
to avoid tests and stuff
and pple....we dun have a term break this sem ah!!
hahaha
at least this is over
one big load off and now
it is just full steam towards studies man!!!!
anyway!
to all i have invited
hehe...only my closer closer frens!
THANKS FOR UR GRACING THAT OCCASION
XIEXIE
hope u guys have fun!
hehehe
those who couldnt make it...
AHEM...i expect a make up for it!!!!
*HINTZ*
=oP
oh well
wat a week end man
went double o and my coz paid for all my fren's drinks
and dears..dun drink too much that u r too high ah!
so scaring...imagine me(who is abit high and stopped drinking at 11 something?)
maomao and my cousin and his fren have to ensure the rest is fine?!
gosh...the girls worried me abit
and esp one of them....gosh....
but dear girl,
he doesnt want u..it is fine
u r still beautiful and tomolo is always better!
hahah...luckily my cousin went
thanks dude!
if not i think maomao jo and i have a hard time!!
hehehe
oh well...great things...haha..
every1 happy i happy can liao
at least the bbq cum buffet was going fine
good thing...wat else?
i also dunno liao..
i guess nothing much
thanks to those who helped
ESP MY FAMILY!!!!!GOSH
oh well..
felt paiseh actually...but i cant be at all the places at 1 time..
gosh..
haha...toking too much actually
think i just watch finding nemo on my laptop and
hit the sack
done nothing for assignments...gosh!
this week onwards
MUGGING TIME!
AAARRGGHHH
*winkz*
12:43 AM |
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