for a world that doesnt exist
for a universe that stands still
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DAILY INSPIRATION:
this day, i pray
this day, i smile
this day, i wish u all the best!
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wat u want to abt me?
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how much can u find out,
when i dun even know
who i am?
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Friday, April 30, 2004
Life gets better, yet people feel worse
YOU'VE never had it so good, Harold MacMillan told the British electorate in the late 1950s.
They believed him and voted for him resoundingly. The Second World War had ended barely
15 years earlier; people could still remember bombed-out London; they could tell old Mac was
telling the truth.
But if Harold Wilson had repeated the same statement in 1970, say, or Mr Tony Blair this year,
few in Britain would have agreed, though both would have been telling the truth also.
Progress is measurable and quantifiable. The statistics prove beyond doubt that people in
the industrialised world - which includes much of Europe, North America, Japan, Australia,
and newly industrialising economies like Singapore and Taiwan - are far better off than they
were not only five to 10 years ago, but better off than human beings have ever been in history.
And yet, why are so few of us happy? Why do so many of us go through life fervently
believing that if only things were a little better - the car a tad more posh, the house a
trifle bigger, the sofa just a little deeper, and so on and so forth - we would finally, really
and truly, promise, be happy? And of course, when the car is a little more posh, the house
a little bigger, the sofa a little deeper, we persist with our dissatisfactions.
Each shiny and alluring ceiling of material existence, once it is attained, turns almost
instantaneously into a tawdry carpet underfoot. Get rid of the carpet! Replace it with marble!
But the marble, too, will, in due course, turn - or seem to - into cheap linoleum. Get rid of...
The cycle repeats itself endlessly, and will always end where it began - in disappointment.
It is amazing to reflect, but I remember Singapore's political leaders telling the young not
to forget how much better off they were than their parents as far back as 1970, only five
years after independence. Thirty years later, the politicians who were young then are
telling today's young the same thing, and meeting the same incomprehension.
Of course, I'm not better off. Of course, I will be satisfied if you politicians made my life
just a little better. And of course, I won't be when you do.
Part of the reason few of us are convinced we are better off is that progress may be
measurable but it cannot be directly experienced. It is possible, of course, with the
application of just a modicum of imagination, to recall how it felt living in a three-room
Housing Board flat when one is now living in a five-room HDB flat or a private condominium.
But it takes effort; the past is always a passing experience; and what occupies the
foreground of one's mind is almost invariably the altogether imperious present -
and that bungalow I just saw in Queen Astrid Park.
Imagining progress over a longer timeframe - 100 years, say, or 500 - is virtually
impossible. You can tell a Londoner, for instance, look chum, 500 years ago, your
sewage system consisted of pigs, dedicated to St Anthony for some reason, roaming
the streets, chomping on the muck. He might thank you for the information,
but it wouldn't make an ounce of difference to his appreciation of the present.
Just 150 years ago, Londoners were still dumping everything - faeces, rotting
vegetables and dead cats, not to mention 'the foul and gory liquids from slaughter-houses'
and 'the purulent abominations from hospitals and dissecting rooms', as one contemporary
document put it - into stagnant pools that stood, as eternal as the Styx, between homes.
It was not till the end of Victoria's reign, just 100 years ago, that all of London,
rich and poor, got a sewage system. One contemporary writer called it 'the greatest
achievement of our age'. And so it was.
But would it strike a contemporary Londoner as still great? Unless he is sewage engineer,
he wouldn't have given more than a moment's notice in his entire life to where his shit
would go today after he flushes. Where it didn't go to a hundred years ago would be a
matter of profound indifference to him. He can flush now; it disappears; end of story.
To all intents and purposes, that describes too our experience of progress:
Time flushes it from our memories, both personal and historical.
Is it any wonder that progress, especially over long stretches of time, has made nobody
happy? It is altogether real; economists and historians can prove its existence;
but we can't experience, taste, feel or see it - so obviously, it has no power to move us.
'All told, except for the clamour and speed of society, and for trends in popular music,
your great-great-grandfather might say the contemporary United States' -
or Britain, France, Japan and Singapore, for that matter - 'is the realisation of utopia'.
Yet, virtually nobody in these countries feels that to be the case.
As Mr Gregg Easterbrook notes in his learned recent book, The Progress Paradox:
How Life Gets Better While People Feel Worse, 'the percentage of Americans who
describe themselves as 'happy' has not budged since the 1950s, though the typical
person's real income more than doubled through that period. Happiness has not
increased in Japan or Western Europe in the past half-century, either, though daily
life in both those places has grown fantastically better'.
Mr Easterbrook, perhaps one of best writers on science today, cites numerous studies
that show that the most efficacious way to gain happiness today is for people to focus
on the present. Citing what he calls the emerging science of 'positive psychology',
he presents evidence that people who make an effort to be optimistic, grateful,
forgiving, public-spirited, self-sacrificing and kind are more likely to be happy.
It's astonishing that after all the progress humankind has achieved over the centuries,
all of wisdom should boil down to something so simple even a child can understand it:
Just try to be a little kinder, folks. It might actually make you happier than owning a Lexus.
actually if happiness can be bought using money, then i guess
it would be the hard work u have used to get those kind of happiness
but i guess, nothing beats to see some1 truly smile
for just one thing u have done for him or her
even an animal, would know wat u have done.
maybe it seems qouting from the widow in untold scandal
"i tried so hard to help out in the church, to seem tat i am
very kind hearted and selfless? but i am actually the most selfish
person in there.
to help is to eliminate the emptiness in me."
maybe in the end, happiness is when ur purpose is made known
good
but i guess in the act, wat is wrong or right...good or bad
it just doesnt make any sense anymore?
just like getting it out of ur system
expelling it
queer feeling though.
rather mixed to read all these together.
maybe in the end, things tat can be improved time over time
to be upgraded as time goes by, could be things we can lose any moment
yet things of eternity, of perfectness cant be erased
the more u can desire, the more unhappy u can get
coz u always cant have wat u want.
so maybe in search of happiness,
look for soemthing tat lasts coz it is of not
upgradable or tradeable for something better
it is the best for u already.
1:43 AM |
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What do men really want?
Contrary to popular misconception, it's not just about food, sex and alcohol,
but companionship for life's journey
By Nicholas Fang
WHEN I first broached the idea of writing a piece on what I felt men really wanted,
a colleague said wittily: 'That's easy: a naked woman to bring him food and beer.'
I wanted to correct her and say that it's actually two naked women,
but I felt that a less flippant approach was required when tackling this subject.
After all, men have always had it worse off when it comes to figuring out what we really want.
Everyone wants to know what women want. Movies have been made about it,
songs have been sung about it.
Maybe it's because women possess a Sphinx-like air of mystery about them.
Maybe it's because, after years of having been discriminated against as the
'weaker sex', women are finally getting their dues.
I'd like to think it's just because women are complicated.
But whatever the reason, no one ever seems half as interested in what men really want.
As my colleague's remark showed, the general stereotype is that most men are
satisfied by the simple fulfilment of their basic desires for sex, food and alcohol.
But that can't be all there is to it, surely? I certainly hope not.
I'm not a prude by any measure but some part of me takes offence at any
generalisation of my peers and myself as being nothing more than modern-day savages.
Worryingly, when I polled a number of my guy friends, there was a significant number
of them who professed that, for most of the time, they were indeed preoccupied
with simple pursuits such as chasing girls and having fun.
A recent outing to one of the more popular clubs in Singapore on a Friday night allowed
me to observe no end of young men - and to be fair, women as well -
who seemed to be thoroughly enjoying a night out on the town with copious
amounts of alcohol, loud music and much close interaction with the opposite sex.
I think it would be near impossible for human beings to deny our natural instincts
and hormonally driven urges, which, as Darwinian theory tells us, are all oriented
towards ensuring the survival of the species through procreation with the opposite sex.
Even those of us who do not subscribe to Darwin's theory of evolution should
accept the fact that it does seem to be in human nature to seek to pass on our
genetic material to future generations by finding a suitable mate and settling down.
But while I accept that on a subconscious level, we may always be prisoners to our
natural physiological make-up, haven't we evolved sufficiently through the years to
be able to consider other priorities in ife?
What about making a positive contribution to the world? Achieving a higher level of
enlightenment and understanding about ourselves? Leaving this earth a better place
than what it was when we got here?
I posed these thoughts to a younger friend of mine who is serving his national service
two days after he had received a decent set of A-level results. I asked him what he felt
he and his peers wanted out of life.
'I think most of us want to be successful. And by successful, I mean in all areas like love,
work, pursuits like sports, being famous and things like that,' he replied.
No mention of cute girls or partying the night away then. Maybe there is hope for the
younger generation after all.
I then turned my questions to a colleague of mine who has just crossed over into his
30s and who seems to enjoy frequent nights out painting the town red.
He admitted that, while the pursuit of the fairer sex has always featured fairly high on
his list of priorities, he increasingly felt that something had been missing.
'It all starts to feel a little empty and meaningless after a while. And going out all the
time can get rather expensive, and you get home after a big night out and sometimes
you wonder what was the point of the whole thing.'
So it seems that some guys do think about more than just what the usual stereotype
gives us credit for. But I was still no closer to actually coming up with a definitive list of
what those preoccupations were.
To add to my confusion, another single friend of mine in his early 30s and has never been
especially renowned to be sensitive or new age told me that men's obsession with finding
a woman may not just be all about sex.
'I think what a lot of us are looking for is someone who we can be with in the long term,
someone who we can take care of and who can take care of us when we need to be.'
After I overcame my surprise at his simple yet enlightened view, I attempted to get a bit
more clarity about the whole issue by asking a female friend in her mid-20s what she felt
guys she was attracted to valued in life.
She said: 'I think men who know what they want and have the drive to go for it are very attractive.
'It's good to know that the person you are with has goals and a purpose in life,
and that he is committed enough to work towards them, as long as those goals
are nothing especially bad.'
So trying to find out what guys really want has proven to be almost as difficult as
pinning down what women want.
But maybe that's not even important, and what we should be doing is trying to
figure out what we as individuals want for ourselves and work towards that.
After all, as we journey through life, it's bound to be a lot easier to find the right
person for ourselves if we at least know which direction we're heading in.
cant help it to luff....enuff..
1:31 AM |
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and now u know wat?
announcement..
i have decided to change my baby!!!
he shall be ryan from OC!
his real name is benjamin McKenzie
gosh..the more i watched, the more my heart melts
hahahah
he is soooooooooo cute
tat pair of eyes...awwww
u know..it isnt tat double eyelid yet, it is not small
yet not too big like goldfish?
but melachonic...and awww...
puppy sad eyes....yet with those feelings oozing out from
that pair of blue eyes..
*giggles* *blinkblink*
i am in love once again
heehee......
he will be my distraction for a long long time
yeah stupid to change baby for some1 i can never have
but at least i get to see him once a week and hear his voice
for almost an hour??
hahahahaha
so y not?
hahahaha
and i shall hold him in my dreams...
awwww
patpat...no worries....i am here....
u will be fine..
patpat
hahahahahaha
okie i am nuts
but truly
maybe it is best i stop watching it
coz i am really scared i fall in love w such a man
hahahahaha
12:05 AM |
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Thursday, April 29, 2004
Which O.C. Character Are You? Find out @ She's Crafty
ooi!!
i am a damn bloody girl?
how come i am RYAN!!
but hahaha
i kinda like this guy
hahahahaha
very melo...
i like.....
3:46 PM |
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bossa nova rocks
ahhh....
it has already chased away my current blues and make me go
"woooooo"
okie i am nuts..hahaha
poor jo surviving w/o her dearest phone again...
oh well
still contemplating if i should go for salsa tomolo
think going la....i need to practice for next tues!!!
=o)
2:53 PM |
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have alot of things to blog but guess, i will take my time
just toked abt my sister coming back
and i think she has gotten the job
meaning, she would have an apartment in houston!
YAY!!!!!..jo...just in case we need to go there...but also dunno for wat
hahaha
anyhow...nothing much happened..
watched untold scandal and taipei 20 something
and no...though RA in s'pore, not hard core porn
just a number of scenes of guy on top PUMPING
or vice versa...
and jo, i dun get it la....tat girl in untold scandal is like
errr...virgin?..hahaha.....wah lau...
crappy u know....but anyhow tell ya later then
both movies....think 20 soemthing's plot is pretty sad
u jsut fuck all ur youth away,
and yet a few still believe in true love
those who din, jsut fuck their life away..
okie
dunno...
queer
untold scandal? is only after later then he learns how to love
while trying to get the girl to bed.
oh well
adaption from the french movie, dangerous liasion i think
also dunno wat else to say,
though pple are really sexually deprived in a way
but i guess, certain emptiness can NEVER be occupied by fucking alone
hahahah
tat's wat that bae guy said in the movie anyhow?
hahahhaha
wah lau...he just bared his butt and the rest? the girls go really naked
BUT....u dun see the 3rd dian.
hahahaha
so guys who are just pure horny w a vengence to DIY
these arent ur hard core porn
spare them the kind of "it would get me really orgasmic"
they have plots at least....
okie this blog is getting very explicit
*shrugs*
sigh...no more car....
parents back
hopefully they will really go egypt in june
muahhaha...
KL, i will come.......*winkz*
anyhow..WE NEED GIRLS!!!!
2 MORE PLS????
2:17 AM |
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Wednesday, April 28, 2004
and now
i am missing my baby...
hahah
not my nephew or any1
hahaha
i wont tell ya who is my baby
*STARING AT KEL N JO*
u guys better not give the slip
hahaha...i miss my baby.....
i miss toking cok w my baby
i miss my baby's voice..
hahaha....
not again....
BISH
1:33 AM |
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haha
saw a honda prelude today and wah..silver with leather seats
damn chio to drive!!!!!!
hahaha....*staring at lijie*
me looking for this car
merc
SL55
super super chio......
gosh......
ARROW they called it
watever!!!!
hahaha
left w today to drive!!!!
tomolo parents and er jie back
hahaha.....
no more oneness with the car liao....
*blurpz*
and haha....luckily jive and tango only once a week!!
sat...here i come..hahahaha
1:20 AM |
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Tuesday, April 27, 2004
bloody irritating
bloody irritating
i am not ur fucking nanny
5:15 PM |
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wah
there is actually a nus social and ballroom dance club!!!!!
hahahaha
tat's the one who organised the jive and tango!!!
=oP
hahaha
how?
i am missing some1 so badly...
hahahahahahhaha
maybe too much of mee goreng!
4:05 AM |
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wat a day...very tiring hahahaha
but fun!
=o)
went school then library to borrow 2 huge books?!?!
then went to photocopy another 4 huge books....
imagine lugging them all the way to the photocopy room
those in nus, should know..level 3 to the photocopy room?
it is like up down up down....
hahahaha
then drove ard singapore
went airport w jodarling...
ahhaha....and dreaming of going USA in dec
we confirm must go!!!
shit.............my company admin hasnt replied me
DAMN
went supper with maomao and jo later...
then we went to west coast park for a walk
and..hahahaha.....at the car park
we saw this car...hahaha..with a man inside ON TOP
OF THE FRONT PASSENGER SEAT
ahaha..the rest is up to the reader's mind
think i am getting better and better with the car liao...
hahaha....so exciting and so cool
like really one with the car.
beautiful
with good music, think i can drive for a long long time
non stop
hahaha....with manual mind u...
gosh....
jodarling : next time if we have chance?
we go take masters in USA la...stay together?
then we buy a car manual!
hahaha...
i drive la....i drive u ard...*winkz*
i am really getting hooked to driving....hahahaha...
SHIT
but this car throttles alittle at 110-120kmph
oh well...1.5 litres engine with hahaha
pathetic horsepower...cant expect much
and today, conclusion so far
alot of singaporean guys REALLY CMI!!!!!!
okie i can name a few who are really fine young men
but alot of the other guy frens i know....
they really cant make it...
gosh....imagine they have ALREADY CREATED themselves
bad reputation:
1) unreasonable
2) selfish/self-centered
3) insensitive
4) petty
oh gosh....even pple from overseas, come over,
studying with them said tat too....
errr
okie, i am not condemning tat much...
alot of NUS guys i know,
REALLY CMI!!!!!
at least ACJC pple are fine
=o)
dun worry....meowmeow is fine
and a few others
the rest..........hahahahahaha....
already established terrible reputation ard.....*shakes head*
okie, i also cant remember wat else i wanna blog
hahaha
i think i am sort of getting myself into another cloud-like frenzy
this time...i also dunno wat...
sigh....
not another "got chemistry leh..."
NO WAY!!!
tell ya, another one confirm nothing will come out from it!
hahaha...
so yeah...just hahahah..enjoy the company!!!!
=oP
maybe i should stay away....for some time...
i am so glad...
i could stay away from it.....
*looking at jodarling*
u should know wat i am tokin abt??
hahahaha
may will be a DEADDEAD YET HAPPENING MONTH!
3:27 AM |
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Monday, April 26, 2004
sometimes
hahaha......
i think i like my chinese blog!!!!
do drop a tag in chinese if u can!
HEY!! i am just trying to ensure i dun lose touch w chinese
it is such a beautiful langauge
really
speak it simply, it means way alot more, than english!
oh well....
hahahaha...
maybe i would just ensure i can publish my book maybe 30yrs
down the road
hahaha...
*winkz*
1:37 AM |
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Sunday, April 25, 2004
nothing much happened i guess.
just went to kel's house and rot
coz only 3 humans, lacked a player for bridge
tat brings the pt
HIANKAI.....WILL BE BACK ON THURSDAY!!!
hahaha
anyhow...
no drums this sem i guess..
dong it is okie la....i have IA next sem unless i come back on sat
hahaha.....madness..which i dun mind
got car from monday till wednesday
parents to KL and erjie is coming back on WED
hahaha.....oh well
so sad...cant pick hk up at the same time!
hahahaha
maybe going airport tomolo w jodarling...
hahaha....
planning for our escape of coz!
*winkz*
10:57 PM |
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forgot to add
i am to learn drums!!!!
okieokie
when i have settled jive and tango by july
so yeah
dong...wait ah..i am coming
ahhahahaha
when do u guys jam anyhow?
lyrics uploaded
great song(s)
1:00 AM |
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may god be nice to me
i am not asking too much
but just pray very hard to ensure
watever i have wished for for the next yr to be
will come true.
*prays and wishes very hard*
and i will die for the next 2 months
monday: piano
tuesday: salsa
wednesday: jive n tango
thursday: tuition
saturday: jive and tango
and i seriously think, now the purpose of living is my nephew!
hahahahaha....
gosh...
i love him, baby...
watever
tat's abt it.
12:55 AM |
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Friday, April 23, 2004
does
(knowing) wat u want = things tat u like?
or
(knowing) wat u like = things tat u want?
coz i have a problem
i sort of know wat i want, but do i want it coz i like it?
or jsut becoz, i jsut WANT it...maybe not liking it even i have it
anyhow...was on the phone w charles..
yeah jodarling, the OGL....tat charles...
gosh..haha..on the phone w him for 1+ hr
haha..toking cok and gosh,
doesnt it bring back memories...hahahahah
i will always remember how i would encourage him to
go after tat girl he likes...and he would be "angry" w me for that
hahahah....
tat was then....
now, he managed to get me a tuition job...hahahaha
goodness...not too bad i guess..thursday nite and 1.5 hr
210 in all for JC1 physics...
DIE
hahaha
oh think i would soooo busy during the holidays..tat i would be like
FYP, TUITION, PIANO, SALSA, JIVE and TANGO.
tian ah...
okieokie....hahaha
never mind
oh well
enjoy ur holidays pple...
and i realised, it's been 3 yrs.
since i had my 1st eye candy in my sports camp
i still have his email in my inbox.
gosh....
hahahahahha....
he isnt tat tall..but TANNED, like liu song sian!
and hahaha...MATURE....
shit..maybe my standard has dropped?
but nah...hahahah
now my new eye candy...hahaha
pursuing his phD
so how bad can i get?...hehehehehe....
and stupid charles said
"aiyah....u dun bother to get a job lor...just be a taitai?
go out and fish for men!!!!!"
and i replied "ooi..i dun need to fish for men? they come to me?"
and goodness me he replied "yeah hor.."
BISH
so where's tat queue?
but then again i heard this story today
hahaha....
must pen it down!!!!
dearie...i think u would like such men
this guy is sooo gutsy,
he wanna to tell the girl how much he likes her
though not expecting any return (just like the little boy in
love actually), stood outside the girl's house for the whole day
holding on to a dozen of different flowers in a nice bouquet
and a bigbig teddy bear.
though he din manage to catch tat girl, and he left the vday
present outside the house....and being anonymous abt it...
he just wanna to tell her tat he likes her
GOSH....
singapore lacks such gutsy men!!!!
and it happened to be one of my fren...
woohoo.....
hahaha
anyhow...her world article amused me to the clouds
singaporean girls rated 1st on being the most sexually agressive
in the asia region.........
u can bed a girl within 1 nite, and usu in a club
tat's the catch.
hahahahahah
but pls....those must be just a very small population
though hell yeah, girls are getting more open-minded
but 1 nite stand?...hahaha.....
c'mon i dun care if u r angmoh or not,
wait longer...
yawn!...
maybe i am not a girl..
muahahahha...
6:17 PM |
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haha
thinking since i dun need to pay for my salsa
going for jive and tango on wed and sat!
but wah lau...it is at geyland!!!!
hahahaha....but hey 60 bucks
very cheap!!
hehehehe....
onz ah!
told ya..i would feel better today!!
but gosh..it is raining...FINALLY!
BREATHE..
jodarling pancake:
nope..i am not going to die.....just a phase...and haha
i wanna HIP HOP @ PHUTURE DEARIE!!!
hahahaha....
okie i am mad hur?
sheesh...my FYP isnt tat bad..coz i have thot of a great idea!
heehee
okie take care
and those in NTU, USA, UK...good luck for exams
hiankai....jo misses u sooo much...everyday tells me how much
she misses u...but i wonder if it is becoz u r bringing back
cosmo and VS...hahahaha
but hey..salsa onz right?
those in NUS...should be over w exams hur?
enjoy!!
4:31 PM |
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and hell am i not going to miss my dear christina
shit
EDB better gives her the stupid summer holiday job
in singapore
if not i will die in july till september
she is one girl whom i can tok abt life so well
tat haha..we shared the same views
almost
maybe she will enjoy her last few months in oxford
b4 heading back to that stressful john hopkins.
goodness...
never mind
i will ensure the trip to usa will fall thru
i wil make sure i go and find her!!!!
ARGH
hahaha...
si huihui, tat's wat she calls me...
back in MGS
and u know, she was my mortal.
i was her angel
and i was sitting beside her in class..
hahahahah
and our fav song?
daniel chan's xin li you xi
si tianhui, better come back..or i will hunt u down!!!!
1:46 AM |
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an additional note
from all the frenzy i experience for the past dunno how many yrs
as years passed
each human needs differ
yet stays almost the same
it is like
at this age of 21+
sounds pathetic somehow
where's the blinking of innocent eyes?
physical comfort: u wana some1 beside u when u wake up to
hey for wat? yeah to fuck some say?
some say:coz u know u can rely on some1
to hug u to tell ya
"i want u", "i love u" (gosh...go die)
"i am here with u...dun worry"
hahaha...hey summerrainx....i shant be toooo errrr
explicit hur...i am not a porn writer anyhow.
the body touches body, the courtship of the opposite using
body and its languages
(using chrissy's words which comes to the pt
i should advocate salsa class..haha..any dance would be fine even
DD..but frens wanna see me in action with my instructor...come along! =oP
i am NOT TAT BAD..and hey.he said i was the best out of the class
besides my instructress...gosh..when i wanna be good
i will be good....this is really weird...a moment of folly passion)
then it is emotional comfort
if u r girl, hey u gotta be more lucky than guys i guess
since guys always complain they dun emotionally depends on their buddies
unless they have great gal frens...so dunno...
as for girls
they can always turn to frens
gla frens...whom they tok anything and EVERYTHING *looking at jodarling*
heehee...
then again, there is always another side to u that u refused to let any1 in
i know, coz i am living it too. =o.) <== doesnt this look like phua chu kang?
then ur refusal to tell any1 makes it pretty miserable sometimes,
but u have got to live w it. tat wat makes live more interesting and more
unbearable and thus the yearn to make it good.
soul searching
okie..there goes another post of "hey, c'mon dun take life too seriously!"
who cares? this is my life, and so be it
bet u cant take it, u just close this window!
oh well
tat's soul searching
u like it
u do it
u dun like it
u dun bother
tat's still soul searching
watever it is
so watever it
most crappy post so far ever
bisshhing myself
think i am just brooding too muhc at home today
tomolo will be different i hope!!!!!
12:50 AM |
|
have u ever questioned so much abt wat u have chosen?
so queer
i have and started to think wat have i done?
somethings in life u placed so much trust and put in effort in
then suddenly it just took the plunge, w/o much warning
and yeah there it goes?
and then u r lost
coz u thot it was THE path
hahah...
the way i mean
maybe i am just not cut to be a chemical engineer..
oh well...
maybe it is just another hurdle to clear
yet signs along the way have shown much more than being
hurdles.
life...this is life.
hahahhaha...think i am super gone case liao
hopefully eph gor wont have to treat me a few yrs down the
road at the mad pple hospital....at sengkang
hahahaha
- frenzy -
losing urself in this world of frenzy
only to wake up to realise it is all nothing
be it a passion, or just a short firework amidst the sky,
could u hear the screamings among all this frenzy?
words out from ur mind, ur heart?
(chorus)
maybe u havent fallen deep down
maybe u din even fall down
maybe u din even pick urself up
maybe u din even get to fall down
part of me has died to get revived after yesterday
part of me has lived till tomolo to see more
nothing much but maybe,
i would wake up to this frenzy.
u crave for nothing but a piece of cake,
to find it was rotting inside
helplessness sets in coz u knew u have nothing else to eat
and ur hunger overwhelms u
would u kill to get ur hunger satisfied
or u rather walk on and search for the hope for another cake
or maybe u just gobble up the rotten piece of cake?
chorus
deflated balloon requires air to float away
humans need hope to survive the next day
thousand miles away from home,
thousands words to be said.
there isnt a shortcut to heaven
there isnt a ticket booth for enquires
coz there aint a ticket to be bought.
chorus
u have given way to many setbacks,
to find urself lost even more after coming out of each
to only realise the tough gets way too too tough
for u to stand up once again.
hahaa is any1 nice enuff to pen down some rock tune to it?
hahaha..dong
can or not?..i go drum it out...ask mah to hum it le?
hahahaha....
but hell wont it be a super long song....
12:08 AM |
|
Thursday, April 22, 2004
think my post just now was pretty badly written
guess not feeling well contributed to tat!!!!
dunno
it was a big big frenzy
it was just such a queer experience
1 day, when i dun need to look after my frens
i would go really really wild
hahahhahaha...
goodness...i dun even need to?
never mind..hahahah...
sigh..
i am feeling terribly terribly terribly horrible.
gotta call christina soon...
shit
i feel bad abt the lost of her hp
not as though i am the cause of it.
but just
hahaha.
okie i am going nuts again...
and i dun feel like doing anything for my lab...sian
cannot!!...must do it!!!!!!!!!!!!
FOCUS!
f**k..
hahahahhahaa....
8:55 PM |
|
phuture was fun yet bad...really
chris lost her HP.....
how abt me having one flaming lamborgini and then
we shared 2 jugs of long island tea.
bet w ya this is the first time i DRANK TAT MUCH
and it was me and chris maybe who drank the most of it
gosh...it was really high for steph and her fren..
phuture was like this tin, and it was super packed w sardines
erps...humans i mean
the girls got really high...me too....chris was enjoying herself
then okie la...u know..PACKED..so body sometimes rubbed body
but the place was ridiculously packed....pushing and all
dearie and her frens got really really high....screamed
haha...but okie la..the music was really good...really good
we all had fun dancing to it
HOT!
but hahaha..suddenly i woke up..as usu...tat protective instinct for my galfrens
just like double o but this time it is worse...coz we din have guys w us
coz there was this time, when suddenly we were surrounded by alot of guys
very intimidating....
gosh....i have to ask christina to pull xiaolin and me pulled steph out
it was way too much......mind u...we were sort of CAGED by them
F
then luckily barry came..hahahaha....so was like..telling him...goodness
i am very high..but then gotta look after these 2 girls...and sheesh
i can really stand still there and BREATHE (sparsely any air anyhow) and FOCUS
then saysaysay....saying....look after steph
imagine...i gotta Dirty dance 2 of them..hahaha.....
goodness...u know..they were high...high...high...
wah lau
hahahahahaha
christina was like....they gone case...hahaha...
then i said..i am half gone too..but controlling...SHIT
hahaha
goodness..u never see me soo agressive to push the girls out of the dance floor
ASSHOLES....but then again
hahah
saw john kuang....haha..junior from ACJC...and steph said he looked cute!
haha...hell he is cute..hahaa..i purposely took photo w him back in jc and jisiao
him all the time one!
=oP
then jason ho..hahaha..he suaned me "ooi..club leh...of coz la..."
but not when suddenly u r surrounded by GUYS (which is of coz on purpose)
haha..but jason was very sweet....(right)..gotta grab me tightly b4 i kena pushed away
hahah...
c'mon steph..think jason is better looking than john la
one is charming the other is cute...hahaha
roll eyes...anyhow i trusted jason in a way...c'mon 2 yrs in camp dover
he cant be having evil thots?
hahaha...but wait...MEN...
c'mon....the way i danced...sheesh..i think i myself invite trouble?
hahaha...danced till girls also stared...esp when we were at the corner of the club
which is pretty empty..hahahahahah......
ooi...barry got nose bleed or not??
hahahah
ignore...watever..i was called the sweet ORC...
hahahaha....
roll eyes.....
hiankai!!! alwyn tan!!!! i wanna DD on u 2!!!!!!!!!!
coz i din get to do it at all..........................
ooi...wanna go?...
this time gotta grab a few guys
haha..maomao is the best...can be bouncer one..hahahaha
oh well...haahahaha
hopefully phuture wont collapse la..
if not..die
cant escape at all......
the crowd was surprisingly..hahahaha
not young
and nope
can tell ya he is not interested in me la!!!
who is anywhere?...
told steph.....the guys ard me?
all no guts one...blahblah...hahaha
then she was telling me stories abt she and preston
gosh..so sweet till i wanna cry....
i felt so much..coz i guess..
both held a special place in each other's hearts
gosh...and it lasts forever kind
though cant be together....it is something tat cant be replaced...
awwwwwwwwwwwww...heehee
think jo also got, but she never understood wat i was toking abt
and started to say...u also have mah..blahblahblah...
err...
no? not ____ and ______
and not even _______ and _______
hahahahahah
cencorsed....
roll eyes.....
done...
salsa class has changed to
only
once a week for the time being for the whole of may
will have further notice and
it costs 25 bucks
3:49 PM |
|
Wednesday, April 21, 2004
stupid jodarling...read her blog
and then sheesh..making me very very _______
dunno wat's the word to describe my feelings...
hahahahahhahaha
watever.....
think i need to start doing alot of things next week instead
Shit
gonna restart some SEM thingy
hahahha.....
and gosh..think i wil faint teaching my frens salsa
dotdotdot
hahahahahhaha
i need to practice...better tell paps...
i super paiseh leh.......
=o|
hahaha
when u have nothing, u've got nothing to lose
so rather HAVE NOTHING
3:08 PM |
|
it sucks sometimes doesnt it
some1 irritates u to the core and being so insensitive abt it
oh well
PERIOD
my icq sucks
think it hangs my dialup
oh well
looking fwd for phuture later
and hahha..eating at ghim moh w parents
sometimes...hahaha...never mind
as long as my mum doesnt become too longwinded
she is very nice to hang ard..coz..hahaha
me and her always suan my daddy!
=oP
i miss my nephew badly
really badly
shit
this weekend, i may not see him again..
which is bad
HOW?!?!?!?!?!?
okie sunday i will go back for dinner and not stay for bridge till so late
provided my sister coming then
hahahahaha
i am such a sucker for my nephew's smiles and warmth
hahahhaha
how jodarling...i wanna to start a family now!!!!!!
nah....i rather my singlehood now first...can do alot of things!!!!
=oP
1929
12:56 AM |
|
Tuesday, April 20, 2004
poor dearie....she is irritated by some1
dun be k??
HUGZ
anyhow...
frens reading my blog
salsa beginner's course in May
tentative details
venue: NUS, SRC (most prob)
time: evening..abt 6pm onwards (after work mah.....=oP)
duration: 1 hr per session, 2 sessions a week, for a month
cost: 48 bucks for 8 sessions (1 time payment)
min 10 couples,
max 15 couples
no worries, will rotate..so get to dance w every1
anyhow, should be going to salsa club at the end of it...=o)
and hahaha...
this guy learnt and really has the passion for it
goodness...his eyes sparkle when i mentioned the word salsa
and yeah. he learnt it in UK and for quite a long time....
tat's abt it
any1 interested...hahaha
drop a tag or err....icq/sms me
i MIGHT BE my instructor dance partner....
dotdotdot....MAYBE ONLY...but haha...for me would be free
=oP
and his reason of picking me as backup (coz my instructress may not be free)
hahaha...shant tell ya
=oP
anyhow...hahaha...excited abt tomolo!!!
PHUTURE!!!!!!!!!
woohoo!!!
me steph and chris... exciting...bunking over at steph's house
heehee....
if barry is going...i am going to let him "die"!!!!
hahahahahaha....
=oP coz who tell him to say i ______
*winkz*..think only steph knows wat i am toking abt
hohohoho
3:52 PM |
|
sometimes i think
hahahaha
i am such a terrible person....
goodness..okieokie
gotta stay away from pple..
making them alittle depressed too....
gotta contain my sadness within myself!!!!!!!!
and gotta stay away from this blog too
hahahaha....
this blog should only consist happy things...
time for tv.
lalalala
12:22 AM |
|
Monday, April 19, 2004
okie definitely very cranky now
everything gets into me
and trying to clean some stupid virus
dear joanna...stop putting on music
somehow, it creates a stupid virus...
oh well..
never mind
lab screwed up again
3-4 months of effort down to drain
due to wat?
contamination
oh just great
guess gotta ask for extension
so wat if i can end my exams early?
my FYP is in the way...
oh well
SHRUGS
think hiankai dear is right
time really flies
i am already in yr 3 going yr4
and next yr this time, i would be graduating
wat have i learnt so far?
wat have i accomplished?
i have no idea.
maybe some said i have changed?
some said i have matured
some said i havent changed at all
it is a matter of perception and how willing pple
accept who i really am
but sometimes, i wonder, who i really am?
hahahaha....
who cares la..hahaha...
milo as comfort food!!!
tat's more impt
u know
a few pple ard us, sometimes gone just like this
death awaits us all the time
death doesnt scare pple, but it is the coming of death does
maybe it is good u live life to the fullest
but i dunno wat it is like.
hahahaha...
another cranky day with another depressing thot...
DAMN
hahaha....
i cherished days when i am happy
i cherished days when i am sad
coz i dunno when i would just go like this.
think i would have to cherish pple ard me too
dunno when they will go (CHOI!!!!)
i rather i die than they die......
11:22 PM |
|
happy girl today again. =o)
met my very dear chris...tat girl better start reading my blog
when she gets back to oxford...
*thunder rolling* finally
anyhow...enjoyed another day w her...
think both of us very crappy
and hahahahah
oh well....think we both amused each other pretty alot
abt life, love, frens, school
in general
GREAT! thanks babe...=o)
ate sushi tei and goodness...both of us choked
up to 40 bucks...but it was worth it...
we both love the food there!!!!
and went new asia bar...and hehehe..
i love the drink i ordered...
metropolis..it was good...
and the nite view...
NICE
just tat when i got home, i suddenly remembered
jervis!!!..and his sweet sweet smile....heehee
being happy is a choice.
and to learn is to go out and interact
tat's the knowledge i have to gain
to lose all the "pain" from the past
crappy me la...as usu...
and hahaha..my new eye candy made my day...
hahaha...but no way am i going to do anything?
hahaha....play hard to get lor...............
*roll eyes*
but y does every1 says he is interested in me???
BISH.
nahhhh.......not now not now....
heehee..i have my honeyed pancake...
i have a confused mizled mizle......
i have my always and forever jervis....
enuff liao....
too many i will DIE.
=oP
1:17 AM |
|
Sunday, April 18, 2004
I was mixed up when you came to me
Too broke to fix
Said'daddy get you gone, I'm missing my baby'
Still missing my baby
I was stitched up by the hands of fate
Said how you gonna make it on your own
If luck is a lady?
Maybe luck is a lady
I was going down for the third time
My heart was broken, I was not open to your suggestion
I had so many questions
That you just kissed away
*muackZ* for my pancake...sweet honeyed pancake!!!!!!
love ya so dearly..
i wont break ur heart one okie??
me the lady tat will make it all work...heehee
kiss ur problems away.......
(think steph will freak out AGAIN)
*muackz* from ur sweet hot cupcake....
Tell me, I guess that cupid was in disguise
That day you walked in and changed my life
I think it's amazing
The way that love can set you free
You tried to save me from myself
Said 'Darling, kiss as many as you want!
My love's still available
And I know you're insatiable'
We're like victimns of the same disease
dearie....set ya free...hahaha...
in disguise.. i have those arrows w me!!!
hahahaha....
it is the same old disease...heehee...
so we will spread it...hahahahaha...
spread the seed of it.
no more victims...
we are all insatiable of it.......
bochapness
*muackz*
I was going down for the third time
My heart was broken, I thought that loving you was out of the question
Then I saw my reflection
Saying please don't let this go
love me dearie and my pancake...
hahahaha.......
loving me is NEVER out of the question
hahahaha....
*muackz*
I said celebrate the love of the one you're with
At this life gets colder
And the devil inside
Tells you to give up
hahah..dun give up on me can liao
hahahah...
i will be the love of ur life!
i will make u hotter (think the weather will do the job)
devil is never here..it is always at the bar....
devils' bar i mean...
no give up....i am here!!!!!!
*winkz*
okie i think every1 must think wat the hell am i doing
sorry
but this song is really groovy
and never fails to make me feellllll good
so yeah..
hahahha
i miss some1 yet i dunno who i miss
coz the person u miss, hasnt appeared in ur life yet
2:53 AM |
|
the emptiness is actually the imperfection of life
nothing too specified
just imperfection of life
so dun bother to try so hard to find things
to explain the emptiness
to fill up the emptiness
coz it cant be filled up with other things
it is just a constant reminder
to urself, gotta embrace life
even the imperfections in life
even the imperfection of life
guess u just gotta learn lessons along the way
look back not becoz u harped over it
want to get back at it
but to see wat has happened and wat can u learn from it?
it is already over
the short time is to reflect
then off u go
to embark on another journey
dun have to get back on everything tat happened to u
big things do come from little things u do
maybe every1 is selfish in nature
but i guess
the only thing i know i have to satisfy is my conscience
and only my conscience
lyrics uploaded
12:51 AM |
|
Saturday, April 17, 2004
i have forgotten to add something
i read this feb issue of a magazine
hahaha...
it is sooo eerie
the horoscope for libra
was soooooooooooo TRUE!!!!
i showed to kelvin?
hahha...
it is sooooooooooooooooooo TRUE
i cun believe it and started to LUFFF
11:26 PM |
|
think my aura abit queer
or is it just errr.....men ah??
i am attracting non chinese attention abit way too much??
anyhow....orange specs never fail to attract the malays
hahahahah
roll eyes....
always at my worst state.....
hrmmmmm
and i am forever ATTRACTED TO _________ MEN
nope
the blank isnt just TANNED.....
guess again...
=oP
watever!!!!
hahaha
the only thing tat somehow made my day is my nephew!
i have such a darling boy in my life
u know....today when i was walking twds my block
just happened to meet my parents bringing jervis down for a walk
my mum said "lets see if he recognises u?"
the moment he saw me guess wat he did??
he looked at me....then suddenly broke into a big smile?
and pointed at me!!!!!!
i smiled....really...hahahaha...
i was sooo happy???
gosh....then he very cute...i said
"sa yi carry?..."
he just stretched out his arms and smiled!
oh my god.......
i am in love....
hahahahahha
and let me carry for a long long time leh.....
=o)
=o)
=o)
my arm shivered....left arm..not much power these days
he is pretty heavy liao.........
=o)
=o)
=o)
i want my own kid...
i know i am only 21+ yrs old.
but hey..
i "blame" my da jie for alot of things
*winkz*
10:59 PM |
|
this is for 3 yrs
i have ever felt sooo good after exams
really queer
though i dunno how well my results are
but got a feeling i can pull my cap up
hopefully
but i have never felt this good abt it
i never say "shit" abt a mistake or wat at all
NOT AT ALL...
woah
oh well...
watever....
just hope not another disappointing sem again
coz i tell ya
i am not the best
but i deserve BETTER THAN WAT I WAS TREATED
hahahahahahaha
goodness...i am still pissed....
relax babe....
cool it ah....
2:32 AM |
|
i have never been so angry in my whole life
and i bet steph never seen me soooo angry and fierce b4
but i realised, making my blood boil is NOT WORTH IT AT ALL
so u know wat?
i am not worthless
and i am ALSO HUMAN
u want to treat me like a piece of shit in front of every1?
it is fine w me
coz EVERY1 KNOWS WHO U REALLY ARE
no matter how nice u r to them?
and those who really know me
know WHO I REALLY AM
i rest my case
sometimes, u cant help feeling puzzled
it keeps pulling u down.....
1:11 AM |
|
Friday, April 16, 2004
think will be over
though i only had 3 papers for exams
but this must be the BEST coz
so far.....
2 papers were fine...really fine
oh well
FYP soon..heehee..
"'-_-
heehee....
and cant wait for later meeting dearie
then sat meeting kelvin dear
then sun meeting chris babe
woohoo....
and sat nite
i will get to see my always and forever darling......
hahahahhahaha
jervis, my nephew
*winkz*
11:01 AM |
|
Thursday, April 15, 2004
woohoo!!
left only 1 paper!!!!!
and yeah....
i know kelvin ends today....DAMN..
haha
but dun forget our date on sat!..hope i can finish latest by 1+
hiankai and kim
u guys gotta come back early...
i miss kim's sweet smile...heehee
hiankai's sillness...
ooi....
i cant wait for july....
where we can go HK's house
eat pizza, tok cok at the dining area and play bridge.
this is life dudes n babes
*winkz*
12:25 PM |
|
grooving to each beat of this song
i knew life is ever so good to me
tat i learn tat i could breathe the next
i am thankful, grateful
dance away ur blues, coz they dun belong here anymore
when things are to happen, they are beyond our control
so dun let them control ur life.
control ur own life.
get a grip of it
dun succumb to something, tat doesnt deserve much attention
and i am toking abt PMS and PMS CRAMPS?
hrmmmm
12:00 AM |
|
Wednesday, April 14, 2004
just dazed
2 more to kill
and i realised
this is the 2nd last sem of exams
technically
if i dun take my masters somewhere somehow
and i have to back lab to clean stuff...DAMN
i am losing my brain...just threw out 2/5 of it to the
CDU, VDU, HCU, VBU, VFU.............
i wonder wat is the products....
yeah..
uncertaintical statistics
which in turn require alot of HAZOP to ensure safety of the plant
coz watever the products are...definitely not good...
the system is going to burst and all relief, control emergenct systems
have failed at the same time....
okie.
back to milo making and sponging
10:35 PM |
|
power failure yet again
at this rate
i can go sleep at nite...and hahaha
but i love the feeling of the whole neighbourhood went dark
it is like the nite, only the moon and the stars liting up the street
yeah...street lights are off too..
it is very beautiful
very serene.
very peaceful
lyrics uploaded!
and hell..it is a super damn good and cool song
rock it DJ....
and damn...it speaks my mind too....
doesnt it jodarling..hahahaa...
12:26 AM |
|
Tuesday, April 13, 2004
there goes another interesting study
done by the university of indianapolis
3 out of 4 of ur guy frens (for girls only)
would habour feelings or have physical attraction towards u
and 2 out of 3 of ur female frens (for guys only)
would habour feelings or have physical attraction towards u
72% of us are "guilty" of liking our frens...and
fantasise abt them
DUH....
NO AH NO AH
but the catch is, they rather the way it is then to take it further.
so yeah..platonic frenship can exist w complications...
hahahaha....
now u know y...so dun bother to count bad luck on ur life
no pt..
it is WAY TOO COMMON.......
so yeah...i have quite a number of guy frens.
but the pt is.....hahaha...i can only count w 1 hand who
i hahour feelings or even feel "turn on" by....
so this study doesnt suit me
as for my guy frens having feelings or physical attraction
oh well..guess it is pretty true *grinz*
a question to guys out there!!!!!
so if ur gal fren is really HOT!...would u do something abt it?
like crossing the line?
and if u see this chio bu, u go up to her, coz u just think she can
be a good fren or becoz..u start to fantasise and think of how she is
in bed?
hahahahahaha
coz the male dj went...
it is just like guys being hunters...
they sight the babes...they grab!!!!
and see one, they think...woohoo..how is
she be like in bed or wat...blahblah....
but i agree w him...hahaha...
imagine i see a cute cute guy..hahahhaa...
y not? to get to know him better
heehee
7:30 PM |
|
let the dream awakens within itself
1:38 AM |
|
Yesterday
(the beatles)
Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away
Now it looks as though they're here to stay
Oh, I believe in yesterday.
Suddenly,I'm not half the man I used to be
There's a shadow hanging over me
Oh, yesterday came suddenly.
Why she had to go I don't know she wouldn't say.
I said something wrong, now I long for yesterday.
Yesterday, love was such an easy game to play.
Now I need a place to hide away.
Oh, I believe in yesterday.
Why she had to go I don't know she wouldn't say.
I said something wrong, now I long for yesterday.
Yesterday, love was such an easy game to play.
Now I need a place to hide away.
Oh, I believe in yesterday.
Why she had to go I don't know she wouldn't say.
I said something wrong, now I long for yesterday.
Yesterday, love was such an easy game to play.
Now I need a place to hide away.
Oh, I believe in yesterday.
Mm mm mm mm mm mm mm.
i cant believe myself...i have yet, again put this up
but i really love this song
so is my dad
somehow, it is always the past tat holds us back hur?
heehee....
live this life once, and let it flow!...
oh no..i am preaching again.........
*winkz*
think my nephew is definitely a heart grabber
he has already swept me over.....
with his smiling and eyes locking mine....
gosh....i am already in love w him!!!
he is sooo cute...smile and wanna me to carry him!
awwww....such a darling...wat more do i ask for?
12:01 AM |
|
Sunday, April 11, 2004
jo darling:
u know i wish my boobs were bigger...
then gosh...can be lingerie models....
gosh...
never mind
i shall just add on the abs first...
hahahahahhahahahahaha
and gosh i have 5 huge red bumps on my forehead...
terrible!!!
tat's the way it goes for women
PMS, then hormonal imbalance!!!!!!
ARGH..
HATE IT
and i dun use concealer!
BLEAH!!!
10:47 PM |
|
*Why Guys Dump Girls They Dig*
Nothing is more upsetting than when a dude you damn well know is into you pulls the plug.
One man gets to the bottom of out-of-the-blue breakups. Chances are, you've had at least
one breakup that left you wondering, "What the hell just happened?" The guy dug you,
you dug him, and the whole thing felt destined for a fabulous future -- at least the foreseeable one.
Then, out of nowhere, he bailed on the relationship. So what went wrong? The sad truth is,
maybe nothing. Here are five completely ridiculous reasons guys kick you to the curb.
Warning: For the most part, it ain't pretty.
The Timing Is Off
Women get serious when they meet the right man. Men get serious with whomever we happen
to be dating when we're finally ready to settle down. That means after every other aspect of
our life is in order -- whether it's finishing grad school, finally pulling down a good-size paycheck,
owning a car outright -- or when our friends start dropping like flies (that's guyspeak for getting married).
But if you catch a guy before he hits that magical stage of his life, then he's liable to bolt --
like Patrick,* 28, who dumped Bridgett after two years, then got engaged to the next girl
he dated after only 10 months. "When I was with Bridgett, all of my friends were single and
I was still an intern with nothing going on in my career. So every time she'd bring up our
future together, it felt like she was jumping the gun," he says. "I didn't break up with her
because she was wrong for me. I ended it because I didn't want to commit to anyone right
then. But by the time I met Elizabeth, I was in a settling-down frame of mind."
-----We're Not Finished Playing the Field------
Men are natural-born one-uppers. If there's a possibil ity of upgrading what we already have
for something better (that'll make our friends drool), we say, bring it on! So we wind up
always wondering if you're really as good as it gets. (I know, scumbag mentality.)
"Whenever I meet a new hot chick, I consider what it would be like to date her, even if
I have a girlfriend at the time," says Andy, 30. "The grass is always greener. No matter
how great his current girl is, a guy doesn't want to feel like he's missing out." In addition
to our opportunistic tendencies, most guys feel compelled to put as many sexual conquests
under their belts as possible. "I admit it -- I know the exact number of girls I've slept with,
no mental calculation required," says Dan, 29. "That's how aware I am of how many notches I
have. And I'd never commit until I felt like I'd experienced enough different
women." Every guy's definition of enough is different, so there's a chance he wrote you off just
because yo u didn't come late enough on his own personal hit list. The moral of the story:
Until we grow up, mark everything off our sexual checklists or have too many friends convince
us that we can't do better than you, the flight risk is real.
=====We're Fixated on the Worst-Case Scenario=====
From the times you chastise us for leaving a wet towel on the bed to those nights you rip
through a pint of fudge ripple without stopping to breathe, we file each incident in a mental
folder labeled Evidence She'll Change for the Worse. We flip through that file whenever
we're trying to decide if we want to hang on to the relationship. Blame our married friends
who took the plunge before us, but many single guys are hyperaware of what could go
wrong down the road. Even if we're crazy about you now, we panic that you'll pack on the
pounds, want sex only once a month and nag us day and night. So we secretly flag certain
things we're scared might be a harbinger of bad things to come. "I've seen it happen to too
many of my friends," says Elliot, 29. "All they do is bitch about how the sex takes a total
nosedive after they get serious with a girl. So sometimes, even if the woman I'm dating is
a horny little minx, I freak out and bail."
=====We're in Like, Not in Love=====
It's harsh but true. In fact, it's probably the most common reason we bolt. Just because a
guy likes you a lot isn't a guarantee that it will evolve into love. And we're surprisingly intuitive
when it comes to figuring out a girl's potential on this front. "I stayed with one woman for
two years because the sex was great and she never pushed the issue, but I knew the minute
I met her that she wasn't The One," says David, 30. So why do we invest any time in a
relationship that we know will ultimately end? Because we're able to live in the moment for
a while and chalk it up to a good experience. But onc e you show that you're way more into
us than we are into you, we'll dump you out of guilt. "I dated this girl for about a year,
but as soon as she started using the L word, I had to end it," recalls
Jay, 29. "It was hard. I cared about her and didn't want to hurt her. But I knew that if I
stuck around, she'd have been happier at first but miserable later on. After all, she deserved
to be with someone who loved her as much as she loved me."
????We're Too into You?????
Just when you thought it was all bad news, here's a hard-to-fess-up admission:
Guys are protective of their emotions. Translation: We're scared shitless of being hurt.
So, if we start to feel like we're getting into a situation where we'll be destroyed if you
dump us, we might launch a preemptive strike and yank the plug first. For Gary, 27,
showing his girlfriend of two years the exit felt like the only choice. "She was the first girl I
was serious with, and I didn't like letting someone have that much power over me. I was
starting to feel emotionally needy, and that was uncomfortable for me," he recalls. "So I
ditched her to save myself!" Sounds crazy, but cut us some slack. Think about how
vulnerable and paranoid you feel when you're nuts about a guy, and realize that we go
through the same thing with girls we really like. But our friends aren't as good at helping
us get over an ex as yours are, plus being openly heartbroken makes us look like wusses.
Nope, it's better to act like a winner before you turn us into a loser, which is when our
natural self-preservation may come into play. Before the real humiliation and pain assail
us like a plague, ending the relationship seems like a good option.
-----------Are You About to Be Jilted?-----------
Signs that your man's getting ready to bail
(1) His cell phone is always off. He might be spending time with someone he doesn't want
you to know about...or he just doesn't want to make himself available.
(2) He's reluctant to make plans. If he hems and haws about committing to anything --
even if it's in the semi-near future -- he's thinking about making a break for it.
(3) He's meaner. The passive-aggressive breakup is a guy standby. Some men intentionally
turn into a-holes to make sure you break up with them.
(4) He's not into sex. He doesn't want to feel connected to you -- or he's getting his needs
filled somewhere else
hahaha..i cant help it but paste it here too jo!!
hahahah
nownow....let's see..which is which hur??
hahahaha..
dearie: hahaha...doesnt it sound familiar?
hahaha..
this is truly so amazing *singing george michael's amazing*
#1-4..okie 4 is out lah....
#2 is like...even we also run away too...
#1&3 do sound very familiar...doesnt it steph??
yawn...too much food in my stomach....studying time liao!
*winkz*
high time to get a sugar daddy...hahahahah.....
3:26 PM |
|
dun even come into my life and ruin my dreams abt love and life
u cant.
so stay away when u r unsure of everything.
coz if u dun have a direction at all,
dun expect me to follow at all
thank u for making us stronger
and thank u for making us understand deeper
wat we truly need and can have.
we can be so good w/o u pple
so if u dun even cant bother to make some sense out of urself
u r just a loser
hahaha
this is wat i called a stroke of brillance
even jo's blog has such great essay!!
hahahahha....
think huimin would be interested and happy to read it..
1:16 AM |
|
can u believe i am in love with ms puerto rico 2004?
gosh...she is such a sunshine babe....i am going to read abt her...
ms puerto rico 2004
gosh..
she is such a babe...
and gosh.......
she is so my kind of girl
hahaha....
HEY I AM NOT LESBIAN!!!
but she is sure is a sunshine babe
i am in love w her....
totally in love
she was out of so many, caught my eye
and hey, ms singapore wont win lor...
hahaha...unless she pulls super interesting stunts
look at my idol's body, smile, charisma...
i am looking up to her yeah!
gosh i love her name too
alba reyes...
hahahaha...
report
gosh a body to die for at such a young age...
and gosh..her answer..hahaha..
12:26 AM |
|
Saturday, April 10, 2004
SPACED
nothingness occupied not only the mind,
but the eyes too
the table lamp spoke enlightening words onto the paper
nothing goes into the brain.
shoulders against the back of the armchair,
finding no way to turn.
frozen.
the eyes blinked more,
fluttering out all lights.
darkness roamed way too long in the room.
paused.
the processing has come to a halt.
dazed.
maybe the switch is faulty.
all the thots have gone hiding,
into the nothingness.
really really really stoned...
coz i have no idea...wat i am doing now...
exam blues..
esp when u r suddenly too focused.
and now my mind is preoccupied w something
tat i shouldnt think of..
DANG!!!
11:08 PM |
|
heehee
i just created a blog...new and it is not known to any1 at all
not even my best fren...joanna siew!
hahaha
yeah..cool hur?
but yet it is open to public.
if by chance u think some blog looks/sounds like my blog
tell me and i will tell ya if u r right!
hahahah...
but the stuff there, is pretty interesting...
coz no1 can judge me at all. no way.
coz frens tend to read too much
not strangers
hehee...rocher is the best chocolate (the more affordable kind)
munching on them now...
*chomp chomp*
5:35 PM |
|
Friday, April 09, 2004
You have to be a real loser to be born a Libra. Libras are born with two left hands, both of which grow out of their ass. They are tone-deaf and generally have poor eyesight. The senses of self-esteem and humor are in embryotic states at best.
Libras never have any money, their love life is usually a non-starter and they have notoriously bad luck both at work and at home. Pictures of mediocrity, they are incapable of standing out, surprising, outperforming.
Genetically unable to make any decision, they begin to convulse and sweat profusely whenever faced with a choice more important than "paper or plastic?". This is why their whole life they let others decide for them.
While they love to present themselves as patrons of the arts, their knowledge in the area runs no further than they can throw a grand piano.
Libras often end up writing tear-jerking memoirs full of half-truths and embellishments
u know
it is soooo fucking true.
11:47 PM |
|
What is LOVE?
1. Learn to love the people who are with you at
present. Forget the people in the past and thank
them for hurting you, which led you to love the
people you have right now.>
2. When you love someone, you'll do crazy
things you can't explain, you'll deny the truth
and believe in lies. When you love someone, you
sacrifice, give everything you've got and don't
think twice. You risk it all no matter what.>
3. Everything in life is temporary because
everything changes. That is why it takes courage
to love, knowing it might end anytime...having
faith will make it last.>
4. Friends are not the one who laugh when you
laugh and cry when you cry. They are the ones
who make you laugh and stop you from crying.>
5. Love is the feeling we fall in and out of,
and every time we fall off, we learn to hold on
tighter...hoping that next time, we may never
have to let go.>
6. They say when love knocks at your door, open
it. But do you know that sometimes love enters
through the back door and before you begin to
notice it, it's on it's way out.>
7. Have you ever loved only to let it go? Have
you ever hated someone and loved him so? Have
you ever missed someone so bad it made you cry?
Have you ever seen someone left alone without
knowing why?True: Lucky is the man who wins the
first love of a woman but luckier is the woman
who wins the
last love of a man.
8. Love is not the right word to say when you
feel guilty nor the right word to say when you
like a person but love really matters when we
share our thoughts, our minds, and our
hearts...>
9. Life has a way of changing things but not
the joy that friendship brings, for friendship
is like the shining moon, makes each night a
brighter one.>
10. Love is not for beauty or color of the
skin, but for a heart that is loyal within, for
beauty fades and the skin would grow old but a
heart that is loyal will never turn cold.>
11. If someone hurts you, betrays you, or
breaks your heart, forgive them for they have
helped you learn about trust and the importance
of being cautious to whom you open your heart.>
12. A love is easy to feel, so hard to explain;
so easy to get, so hard to let go; so easy to
spell, so hard to define...and yet everyone is
still taking the risk. That's love!>
13. We are all a little weird and life's a
little weird, and when we find someone whose
weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up
with them and fall in love in mutual weirdness
and call it LOVE!>
14. Never be afraid to fall in love. It may
hurt a lot, it may give you aches and pain, but
if you don't follow your heart; in the end you
will cry even more for not giving love a
chance.>
15. Don't run ahead of God. Let Him direct your
steps. He has reasons and He has His time. God's
clock is never one minute early nor one minute
late. It always strikes right on time.>
16. If someone loves you, love them back not
only because they love you, but also becasue
they are teaching you to love and opening your
heart and eyes to things you have never seen or
felt without them.>
17. The past is meant to be used as a tool for
the future. Bad experiences indeed make you
bitter but the lessons learned should make you
better.On letting go: it hurts to see someone
you
love happy with somebody else; but wouldn't it
hurt you more to see that person unhappy...with
you?
18. When you find arms that will hold you at
your weakest, eyes that will see you at your
ugliest, lips that will kiss you in both
instances, and a heart that will love you at
your worst, then you have found true love.>
19. Someday, someone might come into your life
and love you in a way you always wanted. If your
someday was yesterday, LEARN; if your someday is
tomorrow, HOPE; if your someday is today,
CHERISH.>
20. Let go of the hand of the person you love,
but don't let go of God's hand. For when you
hold on to His hand, He may be holding the
person you love on the other hand, to let you
hold each other again.>
21. Why do people say loving too much makes you
stupid? It's because you'll always be wrong even
if you're right. You're weak even if you're
strong. You give without receiving. You cry, get
pains but still say you're happy.>
22. How would you know if you've fallen in love
real hard? It's when someone hurts you and you
love him still. Then he hurts you again to find
out that you love him even more...>
23. We only have one heart, but there are many
places in it wherein we keep every person we
meet. Somebody whom we know we might never meet
again, but will never be forgotten.>
24. Your friends are like buttons on the
elevator --- they will either bring you up or
take you down. Choose the people you want to
call friends, but be sure to get yourself on the
right floor.>
25. If you're afraid to love a person because
of friendship, you have two choices; either tell
what you feel and let love take its place or
forever hide the feeling under a friendship full
of pretenses.>
26. It's best to wait for the one you want than
settle for the one available. Best to wait for
the one you love than the one who's around. Best
to wait for the right one cause life's too short
to be wasted on just someone.>
27. If you feel love, don't lose a grip on it,
you'll never know the one you let go was the one
you waited for all your life.>
28. We can never understand joy till we feel
sorrow, faith till we're tested, peace till
we're faced with conflicts, trust till we're
betrayed, and love till it's gone.>
29. Love is not a matter of finding the right
person but rather creating the right
relationship. The important question is not how
much love there is at the beginning but how much
there is at the end.>
30. Sometimes no matter how secure you are in
someone's arms and no matter how tightly you
hold on to this person's hand, you'll find
yourself falling...dangerously in love with
someone else...>
31. There are some who catch our sight and only
few who touch our hearts. Look into your heart
and pursue the person you love for it's better
to risk than just let love pass you by.>
32. When everything seems to be unfair, when
all that you do isn't appreciated, I'll take
your hand, wipe away your tears, take you for a
walk and tell you everything will be fine.>
33. Sometimes in life you find a special
friend. Someone who changes your life just by
being a part of it. Someone who makes you laugh
till you can't stop. Someone who holds your hand
and never lets you go alone in life..
10:59 PM |
|
somehow it seems so pathetic
really pathetic
this blog has become a place that i dun even dare to rant and rave
wat i wish to say.
but only place silly words, silly thots.
where's me?
10:39 PM |
|
Thursday, April 08, 2004
| Extroverted (E) 58.06% Introverted (I) 41.94%
Imaginative (N) 54.05% Realistic (S) 45.95%
Emotional (F) 55.88% Intellectual (T) 44.12%
Easygoing (P) 62.96% Organized (J) 37.04%
| | You are an Inspirer, possible professions include - conference planner, speech pathologist, HR development trainer, ombudsman, clergy, journalist, newscaster, career counselor, housing director, character actor, marketing consultant, musician/composer, artist, information-graphics designer, human resource manager, merchandise planner, advertising account manager, dietitian/nutritionist, speech pathologist, massage therapist, editor/art director. | | Take Free Career Inventory Personality Testpersonality tests by similarminds.com
somehow...i think i need to redo this a few more times....
11:29 PM |
|
too much of anything, really drives one crazy
heehee...wonder if any1 understands it anyhow
think tat's all
and it is sure very irritating in a way
listening to salsa music and yet unable to dance to it
nope, i wont dance alone...like how?
maybe i can practice being the guy,
so i can come out with interesting dance steps too
=o)
5:25 PM |
|
Wednesday, April 07, 2004
amused
totally amused
hahaha
some1 claims to be 34 when he is actually 23???
hahahaha...
oh man..
hahahahah
typical q
"so when r u going to bring ur bf to the bar?"
"bf? no bf ah!!!"
is this how guys ask if u r attached?
hahaha....very interesting...
then for me to shoot back
so i went "so ur gf leh?" and i have to add this
*roll eyes*
hahahaha....
faintz...
n r indians very frenly???
coz how come he would sms me once every other day??
hahaha.....
FAINTZ
1st chinese
2nd malay waiter
3rd indian dance partner
DANG wat a waste hurhur..
hahaha...
jodarling: soon i will attract spanish guys wont i?
*pray really hard*
in short, my aura is changing again...
wat wind is it blowing today?
never mind
for now,
it is a "i cant be bothered" attitude...
as back to those good old days
YEAH
*winkz*
8:26 PM |
|
lyrics uploaded
12:06 AM |
|
Saturday, April 03, 2004
hahaha.....jodarling, dearie..
i have new distraction for the month too!!
WOOHOO......
actually i would have two...
now dun even have marc garland liao...
so heehee.....will try to jio him out to salsa and have lunch!
heehee....watch my charm work again....i did it on my eye candy
i am sure this one can be done!!!
*winkz*
heehee...
was chatting up w my da jie, and hahaha.....imagined she said the same things
hahaha....goodness....
i think it was a good way to settle things..
i feel so consoled actually...
hahahaha...
*winkz*
now now, heehee..going to sleep soon
din do much today for revision...which is BAD!
that means i have to go back to school to mug
ching ming tomolo....545am....goodness..
help....hehe
but tomolo's joy is here
F1(dun think i can catch it...DAMN)
miss congenality...
hahaha..i love this qoute
dearie....
i already gave my best, i have no regrets at all.
heehee...think i really not photogenic..but heck it!..
hahahaha...
NUS salsa dance club
heehee...think i am "in love"
hahahaha...
must be the ht..just nice...gosh....think this is bad..
hahahahah....
ooi jodarling...howhowhowhowhowhowhow?
hehehe..u should have seen him yesterday...hahahahahaha...
gosh....
10:20 PM |
|
it is all around, u dun have to find it at all
since u can only be at 1 place at a time,
so let it hit u.
3:30 PM |
|
just got back from salsa. it is pretty cool
really, pple there really salsa like pros
just feeling dazed,
very dazed
most prob becoz of all the spins i had done thruout the nite
oh well
dearie: will tell ya y i suddenly hate it.
but hahaha...told ya, i was cranky
wanna hear a good joke?
i became sweet hot pie
i've become some1 supposedly to join miss singapore-universe
okie..they sounded like prem......imagine 3 of them bugging me
to join?..and i have no idea how to respond.......
if only i am more well-versed in current affairs, and have better skin condn
i would,
hahaha...but most imptly, i lacked guts for that.
orh of coz, have boobs...and i never understand y pple think i'm hot
n tat came from both guys and gals....
dotdotdot....
but i like lily, she is a very nice lady....very nice...
=o)
and her fren, really chio...hahhaa....
dearie:aiyah, i din manage to charm him leh....so sad!!
only dance w him twice...okie..but haha...it was good dance
really..he loves to bring me super close..hahahhaha....
woohoo...and we were doing merengue?..hahaha
it was like DD hahahahaha...then after which i think he is scared liao..
not my problem mah.... he bring his back to my front and moved
left and right (tat's the basic step for merengue)
hahahaha..so okie lor..i just do my thing...*winkz*
i din dance much anyway....hrmm...hahaha..
coz i was just...err...haahha...never mind
but hey i was asked to dance by a guy, slightly shorter than me
hahaha...so paiseh..coz, err..i dunno wat to do one...
i have to learn to feel it, not anticipate and let the guy do the thing
i am trying my best leh....hahahaha....
it was pretty fun dancing w meng, though he is alittle fat but he is good in a way
but he learnt alot of dances, and try to teach me abt the tension in the arms
it takes alot of practice i guess...
i need to find a partner.
hahahhaa...meng would be a good idea?
or paps i guess..but this guy is super impatient okie?
really not patient one....hahahaha...
chan just did his bhangra thingy....dotdotdot..indian salsa they called it
hehe...gotta practice more...
push pull push pull...and get a good top and shoes for dance...
next thing will get is heels and a dress.....
okie back to books i guess for the next 2 weeks
1.5 weeks to start of exams
2 more weeks to end of it.
FOCUS!
2:06 AM |
|
Thursday, April 01, 2004
hehe..salsa nite tomolo
okieokie..i am trying to study now and not think of the routines
hahaha...paiseh leh
hahaha
*winkz*
now my hp has alot of other pple's hp, and almost all guys,
those i keep practicing w!!....
hahaha...one left a nick instead...diaong..
oh well
hrmm....
tomolo's parents 32nd wedding anniversary...
heehee...hope they enjoy more and more!
=o)
hrmm
queer...queer...i love this song
lyrics uploaded
oh well..hahaha
today i came out with soemthing interesting
afrum was saying, i should create a fortune cookie thingy
on my blog or somewhere, and when u click on any
it will shows something, things i have thot
something like my daily inspirations!!
i would m dear gor... will try it after exams...=o)
the intention is good,
but how u relate it is the key pt.
u can either screw it up, or make it beautiful
so think twice.
11:15 PM |
|
Many of you high school seniors are in a panic at this time of year, coping with
your college acceptance or rejection letters. Since the admissions process has
gone totally insane, it's worth reminding yourself that this is not a particularly
important moment in your life.
You are being judged according to criteria that you would never use to judge
another person and which will never again be applied to you once you leave higher ed.
For example, colleges are taking a hard look at your SAT scores. But if at any moment
in your later life you so much as mention your SAT scores in conversation,
you will be considered a total jerk. If at age 40 you are still proud of your scores,
you may want to contemplate a major life makeover.
More than anything else, colleges are taking a hard look at your grades.
To achieve that marvelous G.P.A., you will have had to demonstrate excellence across a
broad range of subjects: math, science, English, languages etc.
This will never be necessary again. Once you reach adulthood, the key to success will
not be demonstrating teacher-pleasing competence across fields; it will be finding a
few things you love, and then committing yourself passionately to them.
The traits you used getting good grades might actually hold you back. To get those
high marks, while doing all the extracurricular activities colleges are also looking for,
you were encouraged to develop a prudential attitude toward learning.
You had to calculate which reading was essential and which was not.
You could not allow yourself to be obsessed by one subject because if you did,
your marks in the other subjects would suffer. You could not take outrageous risks
because you might fail.
You learned to study subjects that are intrinsically boring to you; slowly, you may
have stopped thinking about which subjects are boring and which exciting. You just
knew that each class was a hoop you must jump through on your way to a first-class
university. You learned to thrive in adult-supervised settings.
If you have done all these things and you are still an interesting person,
congratulations, because the system has been trying to whittle you down into a bland,
complaisant achievement machine.
But in adulthood, you'll find that a talent for regurgitating what superiors want to hear
will take you only halfway up the ladder, and then you'll stop there. The people who
succeed most spectacularly, on the other hand, often had low grades. They are not
prudential. They venture out and thrive where there is no supervision, where there
are no preset requirements.
Those admissions officers may know what office you held in school government,
but they can make only the vaguest surmises about what matters, even to your
worldly success: your perseverance, imagination and trustworthiness. Odds are you
don't even know these things about yourself yet, and you are around you a lot more.
Even if the admissions criteria are dubious, isn't it still really important to get into
a top school? I wonder. I spend a lot of time meeting with students on college campuses.
If you put me in a room with 15 students from any of the top 100 schools in this country
and asked me at the end of an hour whether these were Harvard kids or Penn State kids,
I would not be able to tell you.
There are a lot of smart, lively young people in this country, and you will find them at
whatever school you go to. The students at the really elite schools may have more
social confidence, but students at less prestigious schools may learn not to let their
lives be guided by other people's status rules - a lesson that is worth the tuition all by itself.
As for the quality of education, that's a matter of your actually wanting to learn and
being fortunate enough to meet a professor who electrifies your interest in a subject.
That can happen at any school because good teachers are spread around, too.
So remember, the letters you get over the next few weeks don't determine anything.
Picking a college is like picking a spouse. You don't pick the "top ranked" one,
because that has no meaning. You pick the one with the personality and character
that complements your own.
You may have been preparing for these letters half your life. All I can say is
welcome to adulthood, land of the anticlimaxes
got this from an email
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