for a world that doesnt exist
for a universe that stands still
contact:
relacon@gmail.com
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DAILY INSPIRATION:
this day, i pray
this day, i smile
this day, i wish u all the best!
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wat u want to abt me?
and why?
how much can u find out,
when i dun even know
who i am?
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Monday, May 31, 2004
nothing much happened again i guess.
wat else?
good human relationships are key to a peaceful world
as always,
remember the past is just only a feeling
and feelings will pass and will fade
u dun miss anything but just the feeling.
it comes, thus it goes
10:23 PM |
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just caught this show, on this da shi who was toking abt buddhism,
and how different religions could help in world peace.
he said something very interesting
"神爱世人"
and he continued to explain, if any God loves every1,
there isnt a segregation of christians, muslism, buddhists blahblahblah
just every1.
he toks abt to work twds a better tomolo, a more peaceful, less violent society
each and every1 of us gotta learn to be sincere, and always help pple who are in need.
when u see things in a more selfless, more open way, u realised, u have nothing to lose.
if every1 just starts within himself or herself, and help those in need ard us,
understanding the differences in the many cultures, finding common interests and mutual respect, gobalisation is possible without much risk.
guess, from all i have seen, it is understanding in every 1's part
and he said all these, with a calm and sincere heart.
and suddenly i felt tat kind of solace once again.
understanding.
taking a step back,
not getting urself in a whirlpool.
tat helped alot alot alot.
12:53 AM |
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Sunday, May 30, 2004
i am definitely in a very upset mood
never mind
how often can i say?
sheesh.
it is like every1 thinks i am snappy these days
but the pt is,
oh well............
NEVER MIND
if i seem snappy, or anything
sorry then.
tat's all i can say for now.
can just let me breathe?
okie
beathed
hahahaha
if leaves were to fall in autumn
n grow in spring,
if roots were to grow deeper,
to tap the underground waters
wat tells them so?
10:51 PM |
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think no jive today is a bad idea
my dancing vibes are err.....hahahah
shit man
yeah, gilbert is right,
i should lose weight and fats and toning my muscles!
think i have, on my way there.....
coz i am dancing, eating the same and haha
should have the dancer's figure..
i like!
=oP
but damn
has yet to get the peerrrfffeeeccctttt dress
hahahahah
dunno
tseyang said tat medal test for ballroom may cost me alot alot alot
see how lor..maybe just learn the dance
since got 3 levels
beginner, intermediate, advanced
then got technique class too..
but dun take test is very boring..
coz u learn also dunno for wat!
like piano
hahah
told jo
"if i wanna learn something i have passion abt, i may not need to be perfect at it!
but at least i must get noticed, in the good way"
think i have done that liao.
thank u...thank u.....
si bei hao lian hor?
watever
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i have got a fantastic realisation today
i have a close fren who every1 thinks i am hitting onto (which is not true hahaha...)
except for 1 person who knows the whole truth
but i care less.
i also realised, how much this whole shit is getting me into, but hey who cares??
wat's new anyhow?
i also realised, if i go on like this, i might just go bang the wall..
but for wat???...hrmm
maybe it is a good thing!!!!!
maybe i should do some good in this world, to pple i appreciate:
hey jodarling: though jackson really appeals to me, 28, tall tanned, good looking blah blah but never mind la, he is pretty cool for crisann, think she deserves tat kind of guy
=o) no need to intro to me. esp she has such a bastard ex bf...she is a good girl! she deserves better! tat guy is good catch! but ensure he gets his job....then at least can match up with crisann....
i believe if qualifications cant match, at least salary should.
moreover, if the guy cant swallow that kind of pride.
cousin: will try to watch movie w ya k? but seriously speaking, i am owing pple movies
think kelvin is on top of the list.
then dunno who liao...
okie thinking abt it, only 2 persons, u and kelvin ( my ACJC fren, not ur buddy)
so yeah, how abt we meet for a movie all together? sounds good? but not troy?
harry potter? heehee....
dearie: did i owe ya anything? maybe i did, i cant remember, maybe yi ke ren qing
but no worries, u enjoy urself with phys while she is back yeah? tues, i dun think i can make it. sorry abt it. u enjoy urself k? though i wish i can go, but i guess, my mind and body says no...shoot me shoot me..hahaha...
brightass baby: ooi..haha..think moi not buying maroon 5 cd...my cousin (above) would buy pirated and i will rip from him!!!!...and jamie cullum, dun tell me it is copyright protected??...coz my fren has the software to copy but in USA..gotta wait till hk is back in michigan..bet u dun understand wat i am saying u IT maron...so when will i meet ya? got alot stories to tell me? or vice versa? watever...confused...salsa? now i also dunno can take u in or not..but just come la!
kelvin dear: u read the above for cousin? yeah parents watching themselves, felt bad to parents in a way. tell ya another time. but i have already done alot liao. but maybe again, not enuff to them anyhow. tell ya again
hiankai dear: bridge next sun is fine w me. even sat is fine w me too, no jive n tango but then again, no worries, KL trip would have 3 nites....to play. heard KL clubbing EX so haha..maybe just eat and sleep and bridge? i need tat short break, and next time u go for nice trekking trips, bring me along. i need tat kind of NATURE walk. i guess it would be next summer holidays? think it would come fast, by then i would have graduated
think i might try to go for usa work and travel.
hrmm i have just addressed to 2 girls and 4 guys
think i am still a terrible fren..
i have 2 gal frens overseas whom i have promised to call and yet to do it
then agian. hahaha they din call me!!!!!!=oP
but we all understand one impt pt: we may be busy with our own life most of the time,
but we will never forget each other n will try to be there for each other. tat's wat i call sisterhood!!!
and now, i am almost done for such a long post...
those i have addressed to, BETTER REPLY AH!
and to
xin/eph: (bet tseyang and gilbert dun read la) thanks for today again!
i love the time we spent at CB playing cards (and after 2 hrs of playing, the girl came out to us and go "no cards allowed"...duh)
think we should make more of such, like wat tseyang said "this is a total chillout! havent have this for a long time!!!"
think it is the same to us, we all need it dun we?
*hugz* love ya all.
-- reLacon's retrospection (in a way or 2) --
1:10 AM |
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got my VS
the bras? FANTASTIC
but the undies abt big..but fine still
but the thong...gosh..BIG...next time heading for XS liao
heehee...
wah lau
the bras..i love them
damn..hahahahahah
anyhow met up void deckers
it was good...5 of us were playing german bridge and we LOVED it
enjoyed it very much
and i think i was pissed...there was this group of 5 guys? sitting diagonally twds me
i was super irritated!!!! somehow, i do hatge camera phones........
argh.....
never mind
tired
and if mizied is right
life HAS ALREADY gotten into me
but then again, wat's new man!
*winkz*
hey at least i admitted to it!!!!!!!!
thank u thank u
(can imagine tons of rotten eggs flying in my direction)
think bridge in any form is good.
VERY GOOD
oh well
life goes on now, even w/o bridge
12:48 AM |
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Saturday, May 29, 2004
suddenly i feel like a bloody guy in the end
like yesterday was out with huimin, while having dinner with huimin and steph
the only thing i did was besides complaining shortly abt the stupid drama tat happened on
thursday? all i did was listen to both of them bitch abt work
haha...and the corny ting was? huimin said one thing then stpeh continued hers then huimin continued then steph continued, 2 different stories and all i did was
left right left right left right left right left right.
hrmmmmmmm
and i feel like...."okie...so tat's work?"
dunno
it is as though dearie is getting abit whiny these days..hahaha
yeah...u r....trust me.
and huimin is getting alittle whiny too hahaha
maybe it is the time of the month too la
and they somehow need to vent it out somewhere....hrmmm
hope that VS can err....keep them occupy and happy
goodness...
VS AGAIN? i am quite sick of it actually...
it is passe...
oh well..
time to change sex too
but i bet w ya
i bitch to kelvin annd brightass.
hahah...
do i do tat often my dear and baby?
wait dear is kelvin, baby is brightass (and i have no idea y i call ya baby???watever
it is just a name...haha...as always)
*roll eyes*
time to hibernate
1:10 AM |
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just came back fomr devils
coz my cousin's bday coming...
haha
kelvin is pretty cute but tooo fair for my liking
but i love his smile...DAMN
wanna DD on him..but hahaha....he doenst dance one
oh well
wat else?
dunno
think life is pretty dazed for me for the past few months
it is like so...hrmm....floaty!
yeah
floaty
hahhaha
watever....
think hrmm
never mind
it is pretty gone
i agree with my cousin
it is good to be single and available suddenly
u know y cousin? coz somehow, the guys ard me CMI
i dun mean those close to me, but yeah...long story
hahaha
lalalalala
i wish i can be in USA in cheryl?
*jealous look*
somehow i miss her and her silliness
but i will hold on till she is back in oct
then 4 of us can go wakeboarding!
4 girls and the sea and boards!
woohoo....
12:33 AM |
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Friday, May 28, 2004
haah
this is bad
really bad
*tapping my fingers again*
but maybe i am lucky to have frens to keep reminding me who i am
and maybe wat they thot i was
thanks
hiankai said i was pragmatic.hahah..
more streetwised (which i also dunno y so? hrmm...have i mixed ard too much on the streets? hahaha...i pondered once again...)
dear, i dunno wat is maybe haha....
oh well
a means is always a means
i will survive i guess.
not when my stupid siao di is trying to kill me with many bombs!
1:49 AM |
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busy busy busy
and hahaha
i managed to catch shrek 2 with huimin!
hahaha
it was hilarious!
i totally adored puss in boots!
hahahaha
gosh...he is such a CUTIE CAT!!!!
MEOW
haha..tat silly cute look, with big round watery eyes....
haha...when the guards suddenly stopped in their pursuit and awwwww at him
hahahaha
FAKER!!!
but ahha..i had a good luff...hahaha..it was...gosh...but as wat lewis has said
"hilarious but forgettable"
hahaha
totally agree..
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cun help but think of life once again..haha...WAT'S NEW?!
haha..but this time, i think i have got something straight and right
yeah, watever it is, i should thank tat person...
hahahaha...
but then again, finally got to see how u can bochap with alot of things
when u feel so wronged, u think u r right!
when u r wrong, pple dun think u r?
so just do it la
maybe the theory holds so true that u may forget u r making things right
maybe all is a blessing in disguise?
yeah, only time will tell.
sheesh,
tough luck on my side
but hey, at least the consolation i have for now is
1) i din disappoint myself in my studies this sem
2) i've realised who are true frens to me
3) u dun have to ask something in return to do something for some1 u care, u just do it.
thump dee thump.
a tap, a step, look down, look at ur partner
u two are one when dancing.
This IS not goodbye she said
It is just time for me to rest my head
She does not walk she runs instead
Down these jagged streets and into my bed
But things just get so crazy living life gets hard to do
Sunday morning rain is falling and I'm calling out to you
Singing someday it'll bring me back to you
Find a way to bring myself back home to you
12:20 AM |
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Thursday, May 27, 2004
i think today something really ridiculous happened
let me state something clear abt blogs
1) take everything w a pinch of salt
2) everything said in my blog is nothing more than it means
3) u can read and take watever u THINK IT MEANT, but u CANT stop me from ranting and raving in my PERSONAL BLOG!
and to me, my blog is nothing
and i have nothing to hide
never mind
i dun see a pt anymore somehow,
if every1 comes to me and say, orh u cant do this and tat in a blog
i as well go and bang my head
never mind
a stand is stated loud n clear, i will respect it
but sometimes, reflect on ur own actions and read the situation properly FIRST
and if there is soemthing to hide, i wont even write it in my blog
cos, i have more sense than tat
i have nothing to hide.
think all the above should be on a disclaimer hur?
*roll eyes*
enuff...this case will rest.
SIGH
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on a lighter note
jive n tango was bad
hahaha..
coz err...tango? lewis and i kept running wrong steps
or rather we din turn enuff ah!!! haha never mind
still think the rocking part very hard
either lewis never stepped properly or wat
but haha..lewis enjoyed jive so much kept dancing...
and to state soemthing,
it is VERY fast and tiring too and imagine when u really have to step
it is very terrible on ur feet.
really
OUCH
haha
stupid grin on lewis when he goes "ooi,...our fav dance ah!!!"
yeah jive is livelier and stuff la.
but wah lau
i am still trying to turn 360 in time...HARD stuff
and i would be deprived from jive n tango for 1 full week
damn!
hahaha...never mind...drag lewis to the thursday class in school
hahahaha....
sometimes pple disappoint u coz u have expectations of pple
then u start to learn, there isnt a pt
not to say humans are selfish and stuff,
but guess u arent not their top priority
enjoy the simple things in life once in a while
like the sun, the food u r eating, the little smile u received
from a kid.
guess life would be more bearable too.
things like tat only get us down even more,
we shouldnt let them affect us,
coz for who we are, it is tat we would be loved
things arent meat to understand completely,
but hey, there's not much to worry abt?
have more faith in urself and things u can hold on to
*hugz*
1:32 AM |
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Wednesday, May 26, 2004
hahah
to add on..coz i ma pretty bored waiting for hair to dry first
hahaha
think i am improving in my salsa
the tension in my arms are coming..hahahahha
so yeah
dancing with paps,
i can catch up lioa and not much of a problem
haha
but wah lau free styling is pretty tiring on my back
haha
and paps and i were trying how to do breakdance?
goodness...
wat's next? and i have yet to teach him tango
never mind JIVE with him first..hahaha..gotta make him to JIVE! since he knows it long ago
hahahahaa
okie tomolo jive n tango..
shit hahha
i need to sleep
and i am being very bitchy and hahaha...luffy today
danced w paps, keep luffing and lluffing...
forgot, i do have a contagious luff, so yeah he couldnt help but luff along w me
and see me going really hilariously nuts
haha
but salsa is a very sexy dance..hahaha
paps did something..hrmm...hrmm..okie
run down his hands (lightly) down my curves...
very sensual...but haha.ticklish for me and i started to luff again...
it was part of routine..but he drew out coz he scared the girls went errrrrrr
but cool stuff...i gave up on the sexy body wave, free styling..wah lau...
*sniggers*
brightass: new class is starting next week
30 bucks for 5 lessons, same timing! coming or not??????
i can pay for u first but thinkg u have already started working
30 bucks shold be fine!
hahaha.....i wanna dance with ya remember? can teach ya...coz u r a fast learner.
1:58 AM |
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today was pretty amusing esp in NUS macs
hahaha
we were toking abt SM, bras and wt else?
who were there?
lily, paps, jo me hian kai and paps' fren
hahahahahha
okie i shant elaborate but hey
i am getting very interested in both lily and paps
hahahahahah
never mind
wah lau
jodarling:u know wat i mean..hahahhaa...
ooi how? we do need something to do abt it leh..
hahahaha....DAMN....too bad hur?
we cant touch it at all!!!!1
ARGGHHH
hrmmm
i am getting very AMUSED
12:35 AM |
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Tuesday, May 25, 2004
have i mentioned that hrmm
some women are really vicious? and they called themselves ferocious?
and some girls would go "u wanna bao wo?" out of nowhere? to a guy fren
hahahaha
hey i would do it..soon..hahahahhahaha...
but then again, i must be craving for a man's hugs to do that...
gosh...i am not tat desperate am i? hrmm
i can miss any1 and anything in the world for a day, but doesnt mean i need to see
the person or thing tat very momnent!!! i will faint
hahha
but i wont reject a hug of coz..so heehee...as long as i think u r cute,
come and hug me
=o)
hahah..but then again...alot of men thing they are good looking...puke...
hahaha
and if poetry is could put its usefulness to usefulness,
tat is like asking a man to be tamed
hrmm...but then again,
"lets take a sroll down the beach and see stars baby"
would do the job hur and the hug and then the breeze with tat kind of
i-cant-really-see-ur-face ambience would do alot of miracles.
along w the soft sand and quietness, very conducive
think govt should develop more of such places.......
and never provoke a woman when she is in love w ya and gets really jealous.
but then again, if u r willing to change to improve a r'ship, hey girls
dun be too tough on the guy too la yeah? hahaha....
the most both of u decided to hold each other back with the promise of the ring...
hahahahha...
think i am just so amused with a fren of mine.
very very interesting.
love/superficiality is definitely a speciality of humans
who cares if one lack either of which, u will still stand out
hahaha....
never mind
fucking on the phone != phone sex
really i do mean wat i say
totally amused..
but hey, i guess, she must have loved her bf so much
to be angry.
hahaha...
oh well...
i realised i am really not a woman.
after toking to her.
hahaha..i add more like a guy than a girl?
then again i told her "heehee..all i will do is smile and smile more"
*blinkblink*
hahah...out to cheat men again...bish..
but hey i am OLDFASHIONED!
right..as if...hahahaha
as long as u dun try to bed me, i wont kick u in ur groin dude.
hrmm
enuff
muhahahahahahahhha....
then again wat's with first impression?
i have different "1st impressions" of me
some sweet and innocent, some quiet, some sexy, some cant recall
some said dunno wat...hahaha
wah...watever...sometimes i like jsut cant be bothered..
really...1st impression..hahaha..wat's with them man!
hahaha
w or w/o it, whether i will get close to u or not, maybe is ur looks
or some out of this world thing u did tat will draw my attention to u.
it doesnt have to be the 1st impression
hahahaha....
cool it babes and dudes..
dun need to get high and horny here.....
haha and toking abt hrmm..humans are meant to get married early and yeah
i totally agree...at the peak of adulthood, is when hormones raging blahblah
then u can fuck and procreate but wat is stopping us these days?
1) studies
2) immaturity
3) no $
4) FFFA
and i tell ya all are bullshit
last time pple marry earlier than us..so ask ya, wat is maturity?
and wat's w studies? u mean pple who are 50 cant study?
not true? so if u r schooling, y cant u get married? okie la
lets be a little more modern. take it as u r in ur early 20s la
dun say late teens...
no $ is definitely the factor too..coz everything nowadays need money
but u dun have to have kids tat early...but it is a joy.
but heck it, nothing wrong if u wanna get married now?
just go ROM and pow! u r married, and yeah
c'mon, if u r thinking "orh..y bother when i can play the field?"
ooi AIDS on the rise ah!..hahahah...
and marriage != fuck
u can fuck anytime w/o being responsible, = ONS
okie lor. even premarital sex is fine mah! so y bother to bond urself down with a marriage cert?!
hahaha....as u have said..it is a marriage cert
if u wanna to go ard gaining experience, go ahead..hahaha..
maybe society plays that part, late marriages, divorce rates on the rise
but gladly, society blames itself for tat, which isnt tat bad, since it decides
to shoulder it, but then again, is govt part of society?
hrmm
hahaha....
SALSA
woohoo..
if coincidence happens twice,
it is arranged then.
if fate brings u back to the same spot twice,
be sure u wont be back for the 3rd.
if u blinded from all the pple ard u,
remain blinded then,
coz u never know, they might not exist at all
12:40 AM |
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Monday, May 24, 2004
feeling very very very very ____________
never knew how much to explain it but then again, it doesnt really matter
something sort of went very wrong w my expt again, oh well
this time for the last time i will try to rerun it coz i dun have any more time
i am not raging a war with time, i know i will ALWAYS lose, thus i am just finding
a better way out for myself
again, i am on the, i-wanna-tok-abt-serious-thing-like-life again
it is very weird to see many pple walking past, like they are strangers yet the moment
u get to know them u realised they are ur this fren's fren.. blahblahblah, and to tell ya the truth, i hate it. i really do.
my whole life is circling round pple i dun know yet in a way or two, i actually know them
it seems i am stuck into something tat i can never get out of which.
i want a new injection of life, something so different, so out of the blue, so unconventional, so strange, so unpredictable.
get the pt?
maybe tat is y i am pretty happy in some ways, i got to know frens from different aspects
thouhg i am not very good at relating to them. but pple who arent related to my usual social circle is like a kind of new breathe of life.
maybe tat is y i kinda like to hang out w chris and brightass sometimes.
this sentence keeps bugging my mind for the past few days
"u really cant force things to happen"
then i realised, wat is force? maybe to some1, it looks as though u r forcing something to happen, yet to the person involved, it is just being natural to get out of it.
so it is like salt to one, sugar to another.
food to one, poison to another.
sometimes, who, wat do u listen to?
urself, others?
both?
none?
there is this very strong desire in me, to get something out, i just have to expel it
and there is something in mind is crying out, "STOP!!! can i rest?"
i always keep on looking forward to somethings and iknow, i should stop
but wat's should and should not, am i really forcing things to get out and into my system? queerly, i have no idea, yet that is something so common, it is like saying
"hey, c'mon tat's common sense?"
but wat seems common is strangely unfamiliar to others
i smiled to myself in the mirror today, and loved how sexy my messy hair look
though i know aLOT of girls hate that, but i just love it. (so guy hur?)
i have this strange feeling when i was trying to rush to the toilet coz my bladder was
about to burst, and while holding my stomach, i felt as though i was pregnant
and dun ask me y i have such feeling.
maybe a new life injected into my life, is more than a new breathe, it could mean only a life with a little more meaning and purpose. many thanks to my nephew i guess.
his silly smiles and silly selfamused actions and more jervis' actions allowed me to go
"ahh...such a darling boy.."
do we have a choice? can we do the impossibles that we thot we couldnt?
if one day, i turn mad, do i really have a choice over it?
can we be who we are then and then, now and now, and hope for the best?
or just stick to, i will just live for the moment, and only for the moment?
right.
tell me straight in the face, who cares?
u make ur own choice, stop asking me
i do the funniest things too.
i can make the silliest and out of the "world" comments,
instigates the hrmm...hahaha..things
and yet be the most serious person, trying to find a big answer to a big unknown
dun tell me how much u would be there for me
dun tell me how much u can care and hope things will be fine
dun tell me how much u wish this and tat din happen
dun tell me how much u knew u could control and stuff
oh pls, even i dun believe all i have said,
tat's y i never say, i promise u this and tat
i just go "i will try my best and if i can help i would"
and always, timing is always wrong as it seems
i call in the force and reaction force, with the lag time in it
delay reaction.
when u need help, u just wanna be left alone yet, pple keep bugging u, trying to show concern and stuff and also bug u with their problems
when finally u have decided to snap out of stupidity, and be there somehow, open up somehow, pple just dun want "care"
hahah...
life, oh life, oh life, oh life.
heeheeheeheeheeheehee..
oh well
next time i will buy VS on my own liao
then again, it would be another long time b4 i will spree on bras
4:26 PM |
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oh well
i am so tired and i realised, next sat no jive!!
damn am i going to miss it
which means i cant go on tues coz got salsa
okie left with wed to practice
hahahahaha
watever la
i am so tired
i cant wait for wed to come actually
coz after which, i can take a short break
but lab is really a killer
if u look at my timetable, u will faint.....
i am to hold on till july
july.....mid july
pls god, grant me some good rest?
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sometimes, wat's the difference b/w lust and love?
must u have both physical and emotion attraction to a guy/gal b4 u see how things work out?
to me :yeah. both are impt, w/o both, i dun think i will never consider tat guy at all..
coz, if i dun even feel like hugging or kissing him, wat's the pt?
dearie: have i answered ur question?
then again, so wat if u and the other person got attracted at first, like magnets then also no use mah, then again, lust and love, maybe if u can have both, tat is good la
hahahha...
then again, would u consider a guy/gal that u dun really think abt getting physical??
tat's pretty interesting. i dun, tat's for sure. if u dun turn me on, i wont be ur gf for sure....
haahaaaahahahahah....
*winkz*
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to add on, sometimes, life is a more than a choice.
i feel pain for some pple when they dun have a choice and did try to do something
to change their fate and stuff.
maybe i always get pretty irritated when pple mellow in their selfsympathy and not doing anything abt it.
but if tat gets too trampant, and definitely on and on and on, i would be ignoring all together.
i step back and look at myself, have i even look at the mirror, asking the same question?
were u like one of them?
i did, and maybe i am still is, like them, so who am i to complain and ignore their plead?
dearie uses a word "lacklustre" i think tat's the word, correct me if u can babe,
and i guess, it is sometimes fatigue tat gets u down real bad.
i believe it doesnt matter when u sleep, but it is how much u have rested to continue the journey?
thank heavens for one thing, i dun choose when i should really die.
comatose is like a deep sleep, wandering deeply in dreamland
if u have a dream so far away, yet u lived it in the dreamland
then sometimes, it is worth tat long deep sleep.
when u wake up, u r living a real dream, so real, tat u may choose
to go back to dreamland.
hahahha......
and now i am in bed, waiting for a cool dream to befall....
12:16 AM |
|
Sunday, May 23, 2004
cooked and hrmm..not too bad i guess
calamari with lemon is good..hahahah
wanna venture into something good
and every single dish was finished!
hahahaha
pretty fun but tiring
but i just love to go for grocery shopping
but then again, i still would like to bake!!!!
arghhhh.........need a place to get a oven
cancan..as long as i get rid of that microwave!!!!!!!
*sniggers*
think my dear nephew, jervis is haha...getting very cute
i will pretend to chase him and he loves to go round pple and round
like some kind of merry-go-round, then i would always hum "he'll be coming round e mountain when he comes..." then i will go faster and faster
and guess wat, my dardar will just turn ecstatic...hahahhaa
then it makes all of us luff w him..
hahahah...
shit man... such a cute kid!
howhow? hahaha..i wanna to have my own kid too........
now, he would suddenly sit on my lap and lean on me...
so sweet.....he hardly does tat u know...
but i felt sooooooooooo loved by this nephew!
ahahhaha....
*muackz*
heehee...my man in life is such a cool baby....
i call him baby now...wooohoo.....
told ya, he is my MAN hahaha
okie i am rambling abt my nephew again.
but hey, u know wat is like auntie like nephew?
yeah he is the same case....just like me
*beaming*
*grinz*!
10:41 PM |
|
just a thot
and yet again, due to fatigue, i am thinking too much but i just wanna pen it down
was just walking on on my way to dance
just happened to meet siong's gf and surprised i recognised her and vice versa
and it is pretty cute to hear from her, siong's brother is getting married today
no wonder
tat brought me to another light of coincidence.
life
sometimes, i havent been toking to siong for along time
and i would consider him some1 i always look up to as a big brother.
dunno y, but maybe those days we spent chatting on the phone, jsut to kill time b4 school starts proper.
n now, sort of haha..never really contact, and just like this, time flies
sometimes i question the possibility of pple just walking past u and u dun even notice them
it seems like yesterday when jo n i would just sms siong n mao and go
"how we miss u?" and how idiotic jo would be trying to matchmake me with siong or mao
and both of them cant really stand me and dunno watever school of thots.
yet they are pple who stood by me as frens, as supports.
guess it is two way, i do all my best to listen to mao when he needs some1 to lament to
as for siong, it seems he n his gf are pretty steady in their r'ship
and i am really happy for him. coz it showed me one thing, watever he has said to me as advice as a pt of view, he has actually proven to me tat it is possible and he has done them
weirdly, there are a handful of pple, making use of their lives, relating their experiences and life stories which touched me in a way or another, making me see things very differently, or rather, brought in a new light in my life.
i have to admit, i dun feel as though i am changed as a person on the whole, i have already done my best in many things i have taken in my stride.
though most of the time, i met many blunders, but it only made me stronger and somewhat
gain more insight and understanding towards having a problem, facing a problem, living the problem.
sometimes, it makes me easier to relate to pple when they need a listening ear and more
just told weiling yesterday, sometimes, it is more impt of how u can convince pple of who u really are, yet the line drawn b/w being too complacent and underconfident abt 1self is pretty blurred.
soemtimes, u know somethings are for ur own good, yet this is the way u r.
it is hard to determine wat is good or bad, worse when given a choice to change or not.
the closer pple are to u, or maybe blood related to u, the more they demand of u,
expectations are set higher
the closer and longer ur r'ships are with pple, the harder it is for pple to adjust their image of who u r. maybe sometimes, have we ever stepped back and ask ourselves, how much is change in us, to others, relatively speaking, and thus make us more bearable or less understanding twds our peers, pple whom we depend on when we are out on our own?
i have no idea. the society has churned out pple who follow its culture, yet some cut their own line of lifestyle.
acceptance is wat all humans are looking for, isnt it?
so when u think u have met the "right" pple to chat w, to hang out w, pple who share similiar thots, likes and dislikes, u tend to stick to them.
do u ever challenged to be w pple not ur kind at all?
maybe becoz humans are always animals who have got to live in groups
be it to show off or to seek understanding and company, or even just to alleviate loneliness in oneself, we cant help but start searching for partners, frens who could accept who we are. but have u accepted who u really are?
who are u anyway? can u tell me?
maybe pple can be more tolerant twds strangers, for "let him be, he is nothing to us anyway" yet with loved ones, sometimes, baffling acts like "how could he or she do this to us?", sending strains to one's once trusted rships?
while searching for the right company, we tend to build trust and respect over wat we own. yet we fail to see, these pple right in front of us, are alos the pple who we showed least appreciation to at times. furthermore, our very judgemental pt of view imposing on wat they should be, just becoz they are my family, close frens have hindered the next higher level of acceptance and tolerance.
it gets mroe stale, and stagnant as u grow deeper into a r'ship
r'ship, cant be mistreated, though yet u bother to care, we at all times, just have to learn to let it go and grow on their own.
it is easy to make frens.
but frens that u can relate to at a pt of time, in a lifetime
could u really tok to? share ur life like u would want them to share their ups and downs with ya?
maybe a true fren isnt tat easy to be, yet supporting isnt tat hard
family, is one u can run to all the time, if u r lucky.
yet when u r in need of a good advice, healthy conversation with pple of same frequency
could it be just a call away, a loud helo and greetings?
or it takes more effort than climbing mt everest?
wat is meant to keep, meant to go, isnt concluded till the last breath.
i believe, many would agree, some mistakes made, and u would lose a fren forever
yet understanding the love u shared, moments u have spent, should allow u to forgive and learn to love again, for arent they the pple u should cherish for u have learnt to respect? maybe betrayal could be a moment of folly, or maybe not contacting for a long period of time isnt a crime.
to tell u the truth, it feels so good, when u hear an old fren's voice again over the phone or even just a simple "hey hi! how have u been" could really warm my heart and put a big smile on my face.
sometimes, these pple are pple who have hurt me in a way or another, but for tat, i never put to heart. time have past, and thus it is our past.
we all have grown havent we?
if we still allow the past to put us down, wat is the future are we toking aboout?
frens, family, maybe we jsut got to keep an open heart and mind towards them
dun judge them as much as we should, coz everyday, hustle and bustle of citylife has brought me to realise, the more pple that walked past my shoulders each day,
the more empty this world has become. sometimes, it feels pretty cold
but even for that little argument, cold shoulders, words of silence tat were raging among frens and family, there is sparks, fire and warmth
i am no coldblooded woman, i cant hibernate anytime i wish i can,
maybe becoz we bother to argue, to get angry, to bother to pick up the phone
to even draw some time out from busy and hectic life to meet up, chat up,
to bother to listen though u r tired, not feeling bubbly and happy, and willing to spare a thot for some1, makes tat difference so significant tat i just cant help thinking,
how dumb i was, to be angry over a trivial matter.
but without all these hikes in emotions, self denial, self blame, subconscious cursing and swearing, and then the snapping out of those evil, or even depressing thots,
do u sit down and realise, how simple life is?
a hectic life, with unpredictable happenings, when looked from far,
aint significant anymore
make ur life scale bigger, would u realise life could be simple and loving.
coz u do have pple who care.
maybe u r mean to them, maybe u r harsh on ur words.
but one day, if u were sincere, did things of a good heart,
pple will see it one day.
cherish wat u have now i guess,
even the losses made in life, are very valuable.
12:00 AM |
|
Saturday, May 22, 2004
not to my surprise, fyp cant have extension
told ya NUS is pretty screwed in this field
ADMIN
oh well...
still will run and finish wat i set to finish
guess my prof will help us out in a way or two
lab dance lab
wat's new
and i think i sort of overexert some muscle in my foot or wat
hahaha...oh well
i like jive.
tango is fine but dear lewis jsut cant pivot!!!!!!!
and then when we rock, just feel like i am toppling over...grrrr....
oh well
another 6 more salsa lessons to go and this time i am out to ensure i can get my style right, do some good old sexy moves
i am pretty tired. wrong should say extremely tired.
i miss so many things, yet i cant pinpt them
hahaha...
just going to do some grocery shopping alone at JP
eat lunch there, come home cook and then rest.
1)calamari (i have a bit of prob)
2)brocoli with thick gravy (haha..hot n spicy soup ingredients)
3) cai bouk egg? (just in case not enuff dishes)
4) dunno wat to cook for soup
oh well
feel like once again, it is like leading my own life
coz u wash ur own clothes, cook ur own meal, clean the rooms
hahahaha....
think in 2-3 yrs down the road, i would start receiving red bombs from close frens!
hahaha....
yeah by yr 2006 i am sure
think even next yr also have chance....hahahahha....
i wanna skydive...
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
i have a dream to pursue.
can i?
walking along, saw this kid, smiling to his mum
really cute.
u felt a kind of happiness, light-headedness somewhat
yet u knew u cant have something so dear to u yet.
was feeling terrible yesterday, yet was comforting a fren
to my shock, i actually could tok some okie sense
yet i was just thinking, life gotta be good.
today was a tiring yet fine day, which i din brood
must be tat rocher i ate in the morning.
10:28 PM |
|
Friday, May 21, 2004
dearie:jo should have told ya abt the orders hur?
i have spent more than i wanna...
DAMN
anyhow, sorry i havent been toking to u.
i have been superbly tired and busy and trying to stay home
long story.
hope u r fine? *hugz* when ur IA is done..come school to find me?
anyhow,
think i really need this book
being peace, Thich nhat hanh
think it is exactly 1 yr that i last read the book.
really.
hahah....life like this
1 yr, wat has changed?
somehow, i was stronger last yr.
got to build up a little on everything.
anyhow, dunno wat else to say also.
sat: lab, jive n tango
sun: cook and wash the bathroom
mon:lab + piano hw
tues: tuition, lab, salsa
wed:lab, jive n tango
thurs:lab
fri:lab n maybe salsa.......
sat:lab,family outing most prob + void deckers
sun:can i rest pls?
hahaha....and this goes on
till KL trip
feeling really dead.
hope my tuition kid can at least pass her paper
think i have tired myself out!!!!
hahaha
who cares anyhow.
i realised i wont have any chance to have a good clean break from here for a long time
maybe dec, if i am able to go USA see how
just worry abt my PO tat is just growing..
hahaha...
penicillium oxalicum
penicillium chrysogenum
does any1 know anything abt them?
hahaha....
pls do provide the information pls...
=oP
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
the only thing i know now is to keep positive
life still ticking away, slow or fast, it doesnt matter
it is how u view it.
10:25 PM |
|
my air con blows hot and cold
wat did i do my darling?
i have been nice to u, enjoying every single moment u gave me
and i just sleep, to ur embracing arms
wat's the reason for ur unpredicatable mood?
i wish i can enjoy ur coolness once more,
kissing every inch of my body with ur cold breath
how do i get u not to leave me in the hot weather, stranded alone?
wat do i have to do to get ur full attention, and ur loving cold grace
every nite?
12:59 AM |
|
think this post is going to be really really really long..but watever..
have been doing lots of lab and of coz, r'ship w partners has improved.
guess u get to share thots (on same freq) and results, could not get any worse
can it?
had a few great chatting sessions w teckbeng, who is using the adjacent lab.
haha....he forever very funny....hahaha...then again, it was nice chatting w him once again, ever since FWC camp. his thots always synchronises with mine.
guess it was nice to see both of us trying to pull cap up!
was giving tuition till i went really dazed and tired.
then when i was on my way home, i have become really reflective on life
wat life is again? with all the worrying, doing of FYP, rushing here and there for dance and tuition + piano. wat's the purpose of life in the end??
i gave myself this answer at that pt of time on bus 66.
"purpose of life is to make choices, be it to choose or not"
guess with so, u will realise life goes on no matter wat happens, unless some huge rock in the universe decides to collide head on with the earth and boom! we are annihilated.
must be the stupid book i am reading now.hahaha...
human behaviour and perception to happenings, sometimes reflect the past.
somethings ARE within control, like u wish to be happy or sad all ur life
but yet something cant be controlled, like when u wanna to be happy, sometimes, u just
go crazy, or really upset.
so when's the occasions where u could exert certain level of self-control, and which couldnt at all? then again, it is a matter of choice, and yet a matter of luck, and just more luck. but even u know u cant control, so be it. tat's the only control u can excerise, letting things be.
tat's how u allow urself to control the lost of control
hahahahah
life, a big big pun but hey, dunno, maybe we can be luffing and crying at the same time
sometimes u cry for the emptiness u have in u, becoz something is lost, no longer there in u? or it could maybe be tat u no longer seem to have control over, thus the sense of loss and emptiness in u.
once gained, forever loss.
maybe memories are things we gained, but yet they are also the things we have lost forever.
but then again, w/o the loss, we know we havent gained anything,
thus emptiness isnt a bad thing afterall.
it is just a representative of something gained.
even if it is beautiful and got ripped off from u,
tat emptiness showed how much it meant.
thank god sometimes for that emptiness. at least with tat, i know i would have to cherish more hur?
at least for that moment, tat moment i have breathed,
it lasted for so long, coz it has lived.
again, i must emphasised tat all i have written are truly my very opinionated pt of view
maybe u agree, maybe u understand, maybe u think i am thinking too highly of myself
maybe u think i am just sooo childish, maybe i am jsut being who i am
haha..u have already read thus far. ur opinion is very valuable but not cherished.
raindrops will fall
on me, like a shower,
to a brand new day.
wash away, refresh.
i open my arms and say HELLO
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
can u believe i am going to sleep in my study room?
coz my bedroom's air con refused to work!
survivng w/o the air con in such terribly hot and humid weather
has disallowed me to sleep at all....plus all the scratching from the mosquito bites
it is VERY UNBEARBALE
but it seems the aircon here doesnt work too!!!!!
where's the cold air?
has the coolant turned hot too with the weather???????????
highly possible.
may i zzzzzzzzzz well..
PLSPLSPLSPLS.
12:11 AM |
|
Thursday, May 20, 2004
got back my results! not too bad
finally hit a cap of 4 for a sem!!
but overall still low...
haha..i finally got my first A for my core module!
cool....
somemore safety module..hahah..think i can be a safety officer...(r u sure abt it?)
hahaha
oh well, just hope i can pull it to 3.5 by end of sem 8...plsplsplspls...
jive n tango was pretty bad..hahaha...anyhow think it was pretty comical
but lewis better go home and practice..and i need to ensure i can turn 360 and complete the 3 n a 4 n a in time
hahaha...if not both of us are flying ard....hahahaha
wat else? think i might cheat on my lab, thats wat my prof suggested! ahah..not on my results..but on when i should hand in my report..woohoo..hahahahaha...
okie watever it is..i am going to rest soon..
after this week..it wont be tat siong for lab and i can really read up and start on report!
and prepare for KL trip n wat?
salsa class continues in june..hahaa
brightass: must join me leh..hahaha....
enuff...think i need to go watch tv and rest...
ciaoz....
12:48 AM |
|
Wednesday, May 19, 2004
time to do something abt my hair.
time to get some rest after some sleepless nites
c'est la vie.
1:30 AM |
|
finally i am able to sit down and type my stuff
was busy trying to edit the photos
find a program to copy music from a copy-protected cd
maroon 5 cd...damn..the cd is really..good..maybe i would get it..
hahaha....so yeah..hrmm
idea hur?
anyway, met up brightass today and dragged him down to salsa class
but he just refused to dance! and somehow he looked very sian and all
so stoned....FELT BAD ACTUALLY...but haha...u r interested are u??
never mind, tok to u another day again...
and i offered to hahaha...pay for him okie!
but he is pretty talented...got dancing sense...
even hiankai darling knows wat he is doing =o)
jodarling:enjoyed dancing with that china man? he is a pretty good dancer!
and finally took some salsa class photos!..hahaha...and goodness..
paps was teaching me some fancy moves for girls and i found them amusing
when he demo for me..hahaha.....never mind it is just too hilarious!
think i improved over the weeks..haha..tat's wat paps said himself
muhahaha.....good la...but the fancy moves required too much effort
i think i would get a backache afterwhich....
lab was fine i guess, jsut keep running and stop worrying abt the extension!
wat to do..run first..more impt!
hahahaah
tired.
and hey brightass, while u in NC, y not find out abt masters in sociology too?
forgot to ask ya..haha...rememeber..i am interested in it and u know i am
talented...*winkz*
12:40 AM |
|
Tuesday, May 18, 2004
bad news for me
hahahahah
goodness..somehow..hrmm..think the thing is coming true in a way
I MIGHT NOT GET MY EXTENSION FOR MY FYP!!!!
how great can tat be hur? never mind just do watever i can...
tat means i have to piah my report now, or rather correction, soon....
hahahaha
was playing tarot cards at my piano teacher's house after lessons
ahaha
crappy stuff i have learnt.
"u have met the man, he is ard u actually, but u r blinded to him"
hahahahaha..and he is asian.
hur? and it is like the guy likes me but not doing anything...
hur?
okie..so who could it be?......
i am blinded....coz the pic is actually a blindfolded woman..
hahahahaha...so who ah? jo and i were guessing
"______? or ______? maybe _________hahahaha"
WATEVER
=oP
i am getting worried abt my project
shit..
yeah it is not smooth sailing again...
never mind do wat i can do now.
which means gotta book HPLC soon.
okie i am sure i can make it if i am not wrong...just tat the last few runs...
better fall thru...as soon as i can start..which means i am going back to lab on sundays.
hahahaha
blurp!
1:14 AM |
|
Monday, May 17, 2004
haha i am so inspired now to write this down.....
okie the 1st part is totally censored but watever
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
women: if u r to masturbate often, it actually increase ur desire to enjoy sex and
also the desire to reach organsm. also, note tat it also helps u to identify the different techniques and strokes to allow u reach climax, allowing ur partner to do his/her job better (guess it means lesbians la)
remember, u also have the equal right to be sexually satisfied and men do feel a sense of pride to satisfy their women. if they arent doing too well, guide them. coz if u r to fake or show displeasure, love making can be dampened the next round.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
u must be thinking am i mad to paste it here? but i just happened to read up some article somewhere...anyhow, how many men know clitoris? and how many know how it actually looks like? so those who are pretty sexually open w their partners, would u admire it? like u want ur woman to admire ur manlihood.
then again, i will end it here.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
anyway, i am very irritated liao....sometimes....men ooi!! be more gutsy la!
if u really like a girl, let me tell ya wat a girl is looking for...*faintz*
1) chat with her more, but not to the pt u call her everyday...goodness
2) go out w her one on one, but start it with group first, just in case she feels uncomfy, but if u have chatted w her and like got common interests, count that group date out.
3) whenever u meet her up, give her a big smile, a warm one, and be a little sensitive
if she is not responding, but already meeting u, ask like wat happened?
it is always good to ask how have she been and sometimes, she refused to say doesnt mean nothing has happened...start to divert topic again and if she is still unhappy, probe once more...duh..
4)NEVER start the date toking abt urself and only urself. it only makes u look u r just more concerned abt urself, and helo, u think the girl wil like a guy who thinks abt himself only? a girl loves to be loved and cared for. the support is very impt
if u can give her that, i bet she can give u all of hers!
5) chat more, hang out more, go out more. u will know more abt her and urself
sometimes, go out in a group, not group dating but with a bunch of common frens if u have
u will sometimes realise u can spend time with other pple not just her/him.
6) guess it is impt to realise a lot of girls dun take too much initiative on the wooing part, coz, to them, if a girl jumps in too fast, the guy has the easy way out and the guy wont take much effort and would take the girl for granted. thus, also make use of this chance to see if u r really wanting her as gf and wanting a good, healthy relationship. so take the intiative la......c'mon, where's ur pride hurhur?
7) at this pt, i am pretty sure if the girl likes u, there should be signs...but i forgot, guys are pretty densed. anyway, just pop the question when u really think u cant tahan liao......... even if the girl rejects, take it easy. and see how the girl reject
if she is willing to tok abt y? and blahblah, communicate..maybe she has her own doubts and reservations. then to see if u stand a 2nd chance, do something but dun pressurise
8) it is all abt feeling good and yeah, see if the r'ship can be brought further.
dun rush too much...take ur time and stuff....strike when u know when girl is hot abt u!
anyhow, while doing all these, keep asking urself, r u really cool abt her hur?
hahaha...
how many guys these days do such things?
hahaha...okie la..
not to me i am sure
*winkz*
--- reLacon reports ---
2:56 PM |
|
somehow
i realised, i got wat kelvin is trying to say
"dun bother to influence or force la..."
thanks dude for saying it out,
letting me have a chance to see a different pt of view
luckily i got wat u mean...
guessed tat was wat i did, tat's y i am so hurt now
and trying to recover from it.
hahahaha....
it is part of growing up hur?
beauty remains,
somethings are very fragile
u have just got to handle with tender care.
sometimes, beauty is a chore, an eyesore.
but for a moment when u stop to think,
it cant be so,
coz it is already a beauty.
just have to finish those unfinished businesses,
the rest, are maybe fleeting.
maybe life would be much more meaningful.
all cna be pointless, but maybe
just hope for the best.
tat is all i can remind myself all the time.
1:26 AM |
|
sometimes i am just thinking of alot alot
but everytime my mood goes into the slump
it doesnt feel good at all....
it can be pretty bad...
but i need to remind myself constantly, tat i can be happy
like my siao di always says "i realised i can be happy,
coz i chose to right?"
u r very right my dear.
christina said sometime true "alot of things are ptless, so is worrying,
getting upset. tat's life, and many things cant be changed, so learn to
accept them!"
maybe hur? i dunno, i told this to chris and i realised it is true too
"sometimes, u cant help but being upset, worried and more, so let it come in
and then flow out. coz u r upset over it, it is done w.
but while experiencing something very emotional, can be very taxing"
"this world, it is not the physical or emotional tiredness, but how worrisome life can be"
i realised, when u r upset, u cant be too into it, just like when u r happy,
u cant be totally happy abt it! coz out from the frenzy it is total emptiness
but then again, things cant be forced or controlled. so learning to let things be
could be a way.
sometimes it is only more comforting to know, some1 somehow, regardless
if he or she knwos u, could understand ur problem, and speaks ur mind
so at least, u dun feel so terrible and torn.
then u know, regardless how hard life can be, there is always some1
who would understand.
maybe tat is y i truly understand how it feels, when some1 could understand how i feel
and i dun feel so empty
so i speak my mind.
hopefully, someday somehow, it can help some1 in a way or another
life is a bitch, really.
somehow, if u r a girl, and u are going thru PMS and
if something in ur subconscious bugging u, then PMS will set in full blown
esp when something provokes it.
then u may start to lose control over ur temper, ur anger, ur tears
just remember, all will pass okie?
nothing is so depressing to end it all.
gotta be strong.
coz the body and mind belongs to u. only u can help urself.
but pple, i am sure, who r ur true frens, would be there to give u support
just sometimes, open ur mouth and ask for it.
=o)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
bridge was really fun..and somehow i want MOREMOREMORE!!!!
argh...hahahahahah
hey guys, at least we din play mahjong..coz if we do..think u guys will hate me
coz i will keep winning? damn..next time we should play w money..
i would a rich lady....heeheehee...
12:25 AM |
|
Sunday, May 16, 2004
so slain,
so sian
sigh
sleep is the only remedy, yet i cun get to sleep?
sing a lullably so sweet, tat i can have a sound sleep
and since every things statts w a S
i wish i can smile tomolo once again.
1:17 AM |
|
sing a soul
soothe my soul with those jazz keys
if i could only listen them with ease
maybe my eyes could only feast
those beautiful sunrise tomolo
give me a nite time to sing
all those lullably so sweet
give me a full moon to cry
all the sadness so deep
i keep on dreaming the clouds
i keep on counting the stars
every one of each took a place
so up high
yet every breath i take
is every step nearer to the end
every smile i cast
is every stab in my heart
in the mirror, i saw those eyes
in the mirror, i fear those eyes
they spoke of words tat meant nothing
sparkling with hope, in yearn to conquer
beautiful soul, sing me a song
beautiful angel, give me a halo
beautiful u, give me a word
to send me to heavens
12:00 AM |
|
Saturday, May 15, 2004
freakily, i have jsut watched simply irresistible
yeah a love story abt a girl who lost her mum and was to take over
the family resturant and not getting it right, thus losing her customers
then here came the guy, who was in charge of this big highclass
shopping centre (hey i think i have watched this show b4...oh watever)
then he was abt to open this really really high class resturant
they fell in love. in a way, thru food. yeah the girl suddenly could cook
like every feeling she has goes into the food she cooks
corny, but yeah....then the guy would just simply cun not resist
her food and will always turn into "another person"
till after the 3rd date, would he realise he is lost and
never recognised he is in love with her. then he started to say
tat she is a witch coz when they kissed? they started to float literally
so yeah..he got really freaked out. then again, he started to bail out
while the girl said "though i know watever has been happening is odd,
i cant explain it but all i know is the moment i met u, everything turned
amazing and i want u"
then the guy like...errrrrrrr
fine then later, the guy's chef quit and somehow, the girl took over
and her food was a good representation of her emotions.
hahahha...suddenly, the guy realised how much he loves her
and wanted a 2nd chance....then hahaha
pink dress....anyway...yeah danced..and the end.
yeha i have watched this movie b4 somewhere...somehow!
hahaha..wat i found cute is, "u arent simply just falling in love, u are in love"
hahaha...fits the topic of the day!
hahahaha....
but wat i like is "the man's character is his destiny"
n the guy took it as a curse...hur?....siao ah..but anyhow.
nope i am not going to update the list coz i found it duh
anyway, tomolo a busy day and i need to find the stupid lecturer..to postpone
my project deadline!
argh..........
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
i not just love dancing,
i think i am in love with it
not abt ballroom or salsa
but just dancing, like a performer
maybe i would do something abt it
be a dancer
1:00 AM |
|
Friday, May 14, 2004
i cant help it
dearie: u should start writing down too
hahahhaha
1) tan
2) gotta be naughty.......hahahahah..inspired by huimin
3)would whine to me one..i love guys who cry hahaha....sadist i can hear some pple crying out loud!
4) can tahan my ramblings n give me certain direction when i need to
so in the end, i gotta respect him for who he is first b4 i would listen to him
hahahaha..........
can i stop?
coz i think the list it going to be very long
5)must enjoy doing things w me la....
6)ability to tahan me being cranky, coz when i wanan be alone,
u better siam me......heehee
7)u r not my everything, but hey u r impt, but so are my family, frens.....
8) i am not willing to share my man with any other things, just like if i have a car
i would like to let any1 else drive it.....in fear tat it would be mistreated....
okie this is going nowhere...
9)gotta understand the very queer side of me
then again, i dun like my man common, normal, easy to catch, coz it would be sooo boring
no challenge one.....
10) willingness to communicate...i dun like a man who everything also okie.
wah lau...i as well jsut get a pet for tat...duh...
11) must care abt family (must listen, not nag, coz of wat i have in my family
only hrmm.....da jie really listens..haahah)
esp when come to kids....dun like MCP
hey the kids belong to u too..so, love them like i love them too
okie i am stumped.
coz i wanna to write this down but dunno y i cant put it into words
orhorh..got it
12) emotionally, sexually exciting..coz...i really HATE stability
coz, without putting the r'ship into test, u never know wat is true love
(gosh i am sounding more and more like the little girl in the channel 8 show)
13) i am a fair person, u dun have to love me more than i love u
coz i dun think tat is justifiable, but yeah,...wat is love hrmmm?
as long as i see justisfiable effort, i will reciprocate.
14) taking care of me not in terms of money and blahblah BUT, understanding
and respecting me, just like i would do the same.
u can go chase ur dreams, and put me aside, but u cant ignore me completely
as long as i know u r kicking alive..haha..tat's fine.
but wah..this requires more than love liao...i think....but hey i would do the same
or rather, i want to be treated this way, coz hrmm.....dreams are humans' tomolo!
okie i am really stuck
will continue later la...watching tv...
9:04 PM |
|
this should sound super corny ah!..haha..dunno y also
i wanna fall in love....yesh....u hear me
hahahah...was it almost like last june i said that?
wah....1 yr liao.....SCARING!!!....remembered i was working
as xelibri promoter...hahahaha.....
brightass....remember those days? i still remembered how i met ya
"err hi!, do u know where to make the name tag?"
and u gave me a shock look i think...hrmmmmm
but anyhow heehee...think working in lab for abit too long, brain is fried
then haha...think yesterday WAS REALLY HORRID
if every fortnight i am going thru it, i will rather die
haha...was on the bus, trying to daze very hard, and looked out of the window
suddenly saw a few cars tat went past were manual gears..then i was like
wah...feel like driving, wanna feel free and the adrenaline in my body
then suddenly i was like "feel like falling in love"
hahaha...i actually equate driving a manual car to falling in love?
i am the driver, my lover the car!
hahaha
but i guess, it is like the same feeling it gives me
but then again, i dunno exactly the feeling of falling in love
but it seems i got it somehow, i mean i know how to know if i am in love
hahaha
when i feel as though i am driving a manual car....
hahahhahahahaha
so if i am to fall in love w a guy, the guy must be a car
hahah
i am sooo amused at tis thot....
and i shant start to list wat my "car" should be like
hahahah...
oh well, guess i am feeling much better n i am definitely so sure of a lot of things
oh well....
yeah in sync with dearie, i do miss some1, but dunno who hur?
hahah...hey...
dearie: mimi yan
jodarling:1.8 m at least
me: TANNED, not snow white hor!
and i am pretty amused by jodarling: u r nuts...
1 min dun want to see him, u chase him back, now u call him
coz u feel uneasy w/o him ard.
so tell me, wat do u want?
tug o war?
hahahahahhaha....BISH!
oh well...
i need to do something drastic
i cant wait for skydiving to be properly approved in singapore
350SGD cool stuff
and pls...who says virgo are very hard to crack?
jo and kel are virgos
hahahahhahaha.....
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
have u ever noticed so much of the pple ard u?
oh well, maybe not. but sometimes u r not alone
some times, u r
somewhere over the rainbow, sky is blue
8:18 PM |
|
sometimes i just dun get?
"y pple cry for wat?"
yet the person who said tat teared
over the same thing at the same time.
so wat the heck?
so maybe in the end
i have done nothing right in my life thus far
yeah i dun. i admit.
yeah so wat my results are not good to land myself
in a 1200 IA? i want to?
tat's wat she said.
fine.
in the end, they only want results.
okie lor. so am i to turn evil to show them results
and not care abt who i am anymore?
this is a joke isnt it?
take it i cant grow N give good results at the same time
wait a min, to them, am i even growing up?
i forgot, i am NOT
yeah i am being sensitive again
watever
it is very irritating.
so watever....
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
if nothing turns out "right"
then let it go real "wrong"
maybe in the end, tat is the "right" thing to do:
let it go wrong.
12:03 AM |
|
Thursday, May 13, 2004
today's a very very terrible day, but wondering if i should even blog it down
oh well
u know sometimes, when u r able to push the blame to something abt ur actions
tat would be so good, and nope i dun mean pushing the blame to some1, but something
thus it brings me to the pt that i am indeed having pms that i have somehow, NO control over at all.
times like this
times like this, pple get high
times like tat, pple get bored
times like this, u wish u could go along
times like that, u just wanna be alone.
times like this, u question y?
times like tat, u just chunk everything aside
times like this, life is a bore
times like tat, u long to walk forth.
times like this, u want to cry
times like tat, u want to luff
times like this, u correct pple
times like tat, u blame urself.
times like this, u want things bigger
times like tat, even the tiniest sincerity puts u off.
times like this, memories are forgiven
times like tat, dreams are forsaken
times like this, times like tat
smokes up, drains away.
reasons for nothing,
excuses from everything.
ignorance left the pioneers baffled
knowledge gave the children complacency
a time like where u r standing now,
will pass like a pair of lightning n thunder
loud n bright, but signifies nothing.
8:24 PM |
|
today's pretty interesting day for me
heehee......anyhow...met up cheryl and belinda
for cheryl is going to the workn travel in USA thing
summer camp they called it...but anyhow, she has already graduated
and she is going for 4.5 months!!
wah!!!!.....so jealous...
heehee...
and haha..chatted with brightass for eh, almost an hr right??
hahaha...yeah..and somehow still have alot of things to tok abt...
WATEVER...will chat w ya on wed la!..that is if u r not working
and i dun have last min "dates" again...
=o)
haha...and today i sort of was told of something really amusing
hahaha....
u know i am toking abt u!!!!..
but hey..i will "interrogate" u the next time i meet ya...
heehee..no worries..i am such a nice darling girl...u will be
spared the rod...=o) but will be treated with tons of *winkz*
hahaha.....ooi..my jiemei (i dun care...i dun care
i will call ya my jiemei!)
but anyhow...thanks for trusting me TAT MUCH!
and somehow...i am still sceptical abt the trust part eh
it is more like, maybe u r telling me to get out of trouble,
or u just cant help but tell me...hahahaha
RELACON. i do have such effect on pple =oP
gosh u will be my 1st expt rat....
REALLY..
will tell ya when i see ya again......heeheeheeheehee...
*grinz*
jodarling: haha...u wanna get isist? but i think i am still thinking
of changing it instead of buying. coz i wont buy the same series again la!
kinda silly...afterall, they dun charge us hur?
dearie: so friday is still on hur? sorry..hahaha..1130 is the best
so i can rush back to meet professor.
toking abt it, i need to email him now.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
sometimes, i think me and my silly mouth said the most
ridiculous things
stupidly i think only jo understood wat i am trying to say
watever i say, will always come true, regardless subconsciously
i make it happen. but seriously sometimes, i NEVER make it happen
it just happens naturally
or maybe to put it in another way
i am psychic, i can foretell the future, my own future.
RIGHT
BLEAH!
12:22 AM |
|
Wednesday, May 12, 2004
the afterlife
later beats came in first
death came b4 birth was recreated
the time has come,
the calling was getting way too strong
the lips started to crack
the mouth crying out the name
eyes wide shut, heart turned black
slowly all the scenes unfold in the sky
stars fell to the ground unknowingly
the head started to spin its way out of the web
breathing roots gave life one again to the dead tree
leaves failed to sprout in the spring
the frozen floor gave way to channels of flowing water
even mountains came to a stand still
appalled!
quickened!
if this is to roll on,
may the story be overwritten
there isnt a rerun,
there isnt a "CUT!"
the rain continues,
the earth comes to a stop
the sun saluted to its lifetime
giving way to the blackhole.
fractions gave into multiples
maybe the "wat ifs" have happened b4
but only in the parallel universes.
no eyes see further than tomolo.
no cards tells the full truth
maybe only the puny red heart tat pumped
could tell apart the lies within.
maybe the idea is thicker or thiner
but i seriously still have no idea wat it is leading to
question marks have crashed onto my head.
i am such an actress.
12:07 AM |
|
today, dearie and darling are having PMS
they feel depressed, empty and lost.
i guess, tat's the feeling u get once in a while
when u just abt to climb to bed, or when u open ur eyes
to a new day, u jsut feel a sense of loss and emptiness
and that is strong enuff to make u feel confuse.
very confused
oh well take care dears.
breathe yeah??
haha..tell ya pple a joke then
err...was wearing my new purplish maroon halter top?
and ahahha..when i met up paps for salsa class
he went "hey! we are wearing the same colour top!!!"
then i turned to lily and go hahah qing2 lu3 zuang
then paps went "huh?"
his chinese sucks...tat's y....
i went "couple clothes"
hahahaha
duh right
oh well..
forgot to add...thanks maomoa for his sushi tei treat!
it did some good to both of us hurhur?
ESP THE LAST DISH!!!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
--------------------------------------------------------------------
sometimes in life, u think it is just like this
yet it is just a scratch of the surface
and sometimes, it is a mask
how often do u know the real thing?
and do u actually sense the real thing?
it is dead still.
12:00 AM |
|
Tuesday, May 11, 2004
somehow
hahahaha
i think i have somewhat know who i really am
it is so true abt something abt me
i am a person who dun like discouragements
if u dun like it, i rather u shut up
hahaha
either tat, i am fine without encouragements
and fine working alone..
no prob!
=o)
and i know i am twds something tat i am always looking for
ahhhh
the plan has started to formalise
=o)
1:37 AM |
|
Unfortunately, your seriousness can make you tend toward depression and loneliness. By nature you are more aware of the barriers between people than of the elements that link everyone and everything together. You may feel that you are alone when you are not, and that no one likes you, although it is not true. Try to learn to relax and have fun and to do things merely for the fun of it. Eventually you will learn that living only for what is "important" does not make life rewarding.
You are a person who wants to make great achievements in the world and to be in control of your own destiny. You find it difficult to follow someone else's orders unless you really respect that person. If you apply yourself to your work, you will accomplish a great deal.
However, while you are young, these traits will make it difficult for you to accept other people's authority.
Your relationship with your father is very important. You will be greatly influenced by his ways, although you will occasionally disagree with him and try to rebel.
You want to know what the world is about, what is important in the public eye and what is generally considered significant. Among people of your own age, you will try to be a leader, and your peers will look up to you.
As you are growing up, you may be a real handful for your parents and other adults. Part of you likes to disrupt, surprise and unsettle people. You are restless and unconventional, and you respond very badly to pressure, especially from teachers and parents. At your most difficult, you are rash and headstrong, making sudden moves without thinking about the consequences. In some cases, this can cause accidents, so you should learn to be very careful in situations that might be dangerous. If you don't feel entirely in control of yourself, stop doing anything that involves some danger.
You are strongly freedom oriented, but the problem with your attitude toward authority is that you feel that any restriction is a threat to your being. Any kind of limitation brings out the disruptive side of your personality, and you put all your energy into asserting your own way of being. If you want to get along in the world, you must develop some self- discipline, although most people with this aspect manage to get their own way most of the time. These people are definitely eccentrics according to the rest of the world, and you will be also. Fortunately you have the courage to be your own person.
You like ideas that are different and new; in fact, you are bored rather quickly by anything that is not interesting or exciting. Nevertheless, you are capable of persisting in a task until you finish it, but you probably won't get involved in the same kind of task again, unless you found it particularly interesting. In school you have a definite bent for technical subjects, such as math and science. You enjoy tinkering with machinery and want to know as much as possible about how every gadget works. Once you understand how it works, you try to make it work even better. This aspect usually confers some sort of inventive talent.
You have a quick mind in most subjects, but you should watch out for your tendency to jump to conclusions hastily. You may be more interested in coming up with a new procedure than in doing something the right way.
You have a strong sense of fairness and cannot bear to see anyone getting the short end of the stick. While you are young, you may not be able to do much about this, although you can fight to make sure that people your age are treated fairly. And as you get older, you can work with other people for large-scale social reform or other improvements in society
gosh..wat is this????
and this is just the tip of an iceberg.
WOAH!
1:11 AM |
|
00new look!
the blog has a new look!!
so cool..but abit confusing for me now...
hahahaha...
goodness....
nothing much happened jsut tat i was alittle pissed
my VS bra? one of the bra colour went out of stokc
so the girl ordered a diff colour, but forgot to
change the colour of the matching panties!
okie..i am sooooo irritated....
bish..almost fainted...
oh well
nothing much i guess...tired....
going to wear my new top
heehee
dearie: we can try to order on our own
but we ened to get at least 5 girls but think max 8 or wat
and keep the over USD cost under 200 or wat..
yeah..june got sale.
and i think i would make use of the chance to get my matching panties!
if the panties are comfy, i dun mind invest...wanna share?
oh well..nothing much liao
suddenly i wanna something!!
hahahaha.....
never mind
craving again....not for food too..
hahahahah
but now, no time no time....
all time spent on FYP, dance, piano, tuition.
okie haha..but somehow, such life styls is not too bad
once in a while gotta meet frens.
yeah and this week
1)cheryl and belinda (darling mgs frens =o) )
2)brightass (hahaha...forever got crops up...)
3)hk, kel, jo for bridge and pizza!!!! (this is the one i look
fwd to the most)
tata!
exploring new blogger...
12:48 AM |
|
Monday, May 10, 2004
BOTH SIDES, NOW Lyrics
(joni mitchell)
Rosen flows of angel hair
And ice cream castles in the air
And feather canyons ev'rywhere
I've looked at clouds that way
But now they only block the sun
They rain and snow on ev'ryone
So many things I would have done
But clouds got in my way
I've looked at clouds from both sides now
From up and down, and still somehow
It's cloud illusions I recall
I really don't know clouds at all
Moons and Junes and Ferris wheels
The dizzy dancing way you feel
As ev'ry fairy tale comes real
I've looked at love that way
But now it's just another show
You leave 'em laughing when you go
And if you care, don't let them know
Don't give yourself away
I've looked at love from both sides now
From give and take, and still somehow
It's love's illusions I recall
I really don't know love at all
Tears and fears and feeling proud
To say "I love you" right out loud
Dreams and schemes and circus crowds
I've looked at life that way
But now old friends are acting strange
They shake their heads, they say I've changed
Well something's lost, but something's gained
In living ev'ry day
I've looked at life from both sides now
From win and lose and still somehow
It's life's illusions I recall
I really don't know life at all
I've looked at life from both sides now
From up and down, and still somehow
It's life's illusions I recall
I really don't know life at all
everytime i hear this song on my love actually soundtrack
i will always get really touched.
no matter wat it is, it is really beautiful
i love this song and the lyrics really sure something to make u cry
the music is something...with orchestra
clouds. formless, yet with forms.
life is indeed illusions.
this lady has an really interesting voice
and yeah, i guess alot of pop singers
cant match up
she dun belong to pop anyhow...
the way she sings...sings, tok,
like a story.
12:55 AM |
|
a busy day for me
monday, isnt monday blues
monday is the beginning day of a new week
without it, there wont be weekends.
the best day is always tomolo,
and only tomolo.
each new day is always better than today.
if darkness is being associated to sadness,
so tell me y u go sleep to a new day?
it is just a prelude to a brand new day.
it is as beautiful as any bright sunny day
rainy days always feel chilly
yet the heart warms even more
coz of tat cup of hot chocolate
guess with the sky crying,
u know, heavens has its own emotions too
so embrace! life is a roller coaster ride.
so enjoy it.
be it teary or smiley...
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
but hahaha...
FERGUS TAN!!!!!!! U BETTER BE MY DANCE PARTNER!!!!!!!!!!
WANNA GO FOR MEDAL TEST? SAMBA LIAO?
SO FAST????
wah lau
12:33 AM |
|
Sunday, May 09, 2004
can i just say i am totally amused with simin's blog?
hahahahahaha
waoh! i tell ya her list for bf?
is the same as mine
so check it out..
hahahahahahahaha
but then again
no 1 has the link to it...so....hahahah
i wont bother to blog it anyhow....
but such things, so wat u wanna it all,
life isnt perfect anyhow....
oh well... best of luck to her....
she will find the man of her dreams...=o)
and prior to the latest post
there was a post saying she has already met her man
so hahaha.....wondering who is that guy!!!
*not thinking very hard*
but i cant help it but to think....hahahahaha
ooi...maybe u know i am toking abt U!
*winkz* yes U...u know who i am toking abt....
hahahahha
anyhow, met up xiao di today and yeah chatted quite a bit
he finally told me abt his problem he faced and guess
he gotta restart his yr 1 in chem engine...but i think it is the best way out
shant say wat is the cause, but yeah, life like this only makes u stronger
gotta learn to let go.
sometimes, u cant control it, so let it be...
u can try as hard as u wish, but learn to stop FAST when it is not going anywhere
junjie: hey dude, no worries..u will get over it fast....just put ur priorities right
and start clearing problems one by one, things will be fine in no time!!!
ur da jie here will always try to be there for u yeah?
*hugz*
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
hahaha.....jodarling was saying...it is again the period of break ups and attachment
again!!!! i totally agree...hahaha..i am waiting for good shows to see..but
somehow...pple ard me...hrmm
i will wait..coz i think there is a possibility somewhere.....not me la!
but hahaha..some fren of mine
muahahahah
dunno wat else to blog
will continue later
11:53 PM |
|
i am so totally amused by lily.
just asked for my msn photo
so tat she can put it up on salsa website
and....guess wat
she was so sweet to even include me as to
acknowledge my efforts in salsa class.
hahaha
hahahahaha
and next thing i will see is the BIG FACE of mine
on the website...
*shudders*
lovely...
*puke*
hahaha
looks are deceiving...as i have mentioned...
din i?
hahaha
i forever look so sweeettt....
hahahahahha...
AMUSED!!!
click here to find out frens!
okie..really
nus salsa
okie am i proud or wat to put it up?
but anyhow...find out more abt salsa
it is more of free styling
and stuff....
and soon i am to teach paps tango
right.......
and i dun like merengue!!!!!!
dance again
YAWN!
and hrmm
maybe the horoscope is coming true....
*shivers*
hahaha...
stupid xiao di...stupid!!!
but ooi.if u r reading this..
u better be fine ah...
will always be in a piece!
and hahah..consider u as bf/fling?...
err..hrmm...
buy me more orange stuff first..
muahhahaha
12:49 AM |
|
Saturday, May 08, 2004
i am just about to faint...
sometimes..my tuition kid is really troublesome!?!?!
arghhh.....
anyhow...haha..was on phone w charles AGAIN?
aiyah...the kid la..irritating.....
ooi lijie: haha...u two really sound abit alike?
okie...RI boys...*roll eyes*
Jive and Tango was pretty good...
but somehow..lewis and i cant get tango really right?
jive was good...=oP
hahaha..tango...damn. once in a while will clash into him and i cant
stand properly!!!
ARGHHH
must flow...body language....arghhh...wat's wrong?
hahahaha
but jive was good..heehee...rock and roll
heehee
damn...i think the more i look at the later class do samba
the more i can remember the steps
hahahaha....
okie i am nuts
and goodness...monday is a terrible day
oh well
finally i can rest tomolo...
i am so tired........
11:03 PM |
|
think charles really will kill me
hahaha
but hey dearie...i told him abt our spa express in nus
he said it is feasible..this guy...full of enterprise spirit in him...
ooi.....
brightass: so when u wanna jazz and can i have my maroon 5 cd?
i dun wanna wait till u flying off to USA then i meet ya!!!!!!!
u crap!
hahahaha
n have u found a job???
i jsut refused to call ya...
anyhow...i am pretty sure i will know wat to get the next round of
lingerie shopping..
VS full set of lacy bra and panties...
woohoo
girls...those wanna contacts...hrmm
reach me la...see when's the next round of "bulk" buying!
12:57 AM |
|
Friday, May 07, 2004
finally settled wat i wanna to get
hahaha
check this out man....
bra set
the so me top
hahah..it seems ex..but tell ya it is worth the price..
better than trumiph girls
luckily can get cheaper shipping rates!
woohoo...
hahahhahhaa
sweet right? cute right?
*BLINKBLINK*
HAHAHAHA
next time it will be SEXY
pure hot sexy..hahahah
ooi jodarling: so onz boh...hahaha...we wear in KL!!
no guys allowed!
damn i am spending like 70USD??
hahahaha......
wah lau
that is like goodness
2:29 PM |
|
another point to add, and yeah i know...i have blabbered alot liao!
sorry lor....
cant help it....there's only 2 times when i will chatter chatter
1) when i am feeling really frustrated, very hrmm...lost?
2) when i am really happy, that is i am chirpy
cant take it? hahaha..then tell me i will stay away
or best, u can just walk away..i wont blame u...
thinking, been feeling alittle jealous more in this case than tat
y hur?
sometimes things are meant to be let go, something things
u jsut cant let go
so wat are those? i wonder sometimes...
to me, i have to determine them soon
but then again, maybe in the end
i cant have regrets in my OWN decisions
and i wont, thus i shouldnt feel terrible abt it
so tat's y when i felt that sense of jealousy, i actually
din feel unhappy. coz i knew, it is just a sparsm of emotion
tat will fade quickly too.
and it is not going to affect me, thus now
i dun feel jealous anymore..
ZEN
*winkz*
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
love
can u stay for that moment forever?
can u say u will be mine forever?
will u be mine for always?
every kiss, every touch, every hug
tells me how much u needed me
but how long would u stay?
how long r u willing to weave our world?
u look so deeply into my eyes, not saying a word
i kept so quiet to hold the look.
that moment was forever, but never to stay
maybe it is just meant to let go
never meant to be
every sunrise, every nitefall,
i would always thot of u holding me in ur arms
blissfully, i know i could only dream
sadly, they arent coming true anymore
take my breathe away,
stay by my side.
kiss my tears dry,
keep my fears away.
only to see that picture in my dreams
only to feel ur breath by my ears when i close my eyes
ur smell still linger ard me, when i thot of u
maybe that song stopped to play in my heart
maybe i shouldnt have stayed
i should have left, quietly
love smokes thru every part of ur body
it sneaks in at the most unexpected time
it is exhilarating, yet toxicating
it sends the pple to hell yet to cloud nine
the emptiness left when u came into my world
the emptiness remained, only when ur love left
an inspiration tat struck right after some stranger's blog
but i guess, plus the love songs playing on the radio
i guess, heehee...just cant help it la!
too chirpy and then suddenly u turn clear headed
u sense alot more than ever...
to all who are trying so hard to let go of a bad love
but hey, if love exists, it could only be good
so if it never stay? it isnt love afterall.
=o)
1:47 AM |
|
to continue abt the story on my first tuition day
the mum, mrs lam went "u looked familiar!!"
hahaha...do i?"maybe common face"
and stupid charles has to say...
"did u do something bad? coz she has a bad memory"
DOTDOTDOT....
then when i saw my girl, peiwen?
"she sure looks familiar too"
goodness..
so maybe we do know each other by face yet cant recall
where we have met?????
anyhhow..she stays on the same block as meishan!!!
hahaha..maybe tat's y....hrmmmmmm
going to ensure i get to see my prof by next week and settle it
and then full steam ahead!
okie
anyhow....heehee....
jodarling: lewis was saying since it is hyatt? go for the spa and facial
heard it is good and stuff
wah alu..i would be broke then man!but i dun mind...will be earning extra 280 for june
so not too bad...i really wanna to get it good!
when IA starts...i am to save......
for USA!...tat reminds me
i need to call the admin....die!!!!!!!
now it is to rest my feet and project for the moment
and prepare for the next tuition
dun wanna make the girl do badly for her 1st common test
not good....will be a bad note to start, not for me of coz
for her....
and heehee..she is in air rifle too...but haha..in track too
this girl is nuts....
oh well....
hiankai...better go ur house for heehee...bridge and pizza and
some ice blended!!!!!!!!
miss ya house and ur room and ur bed!
heehee......
1:01 AM |
|
shoot me okie? coz i am going to spend abt hrmmm
alot on a top and lingerie at VS!!!!
jo better share w me....die
i love the panties and all....
hahahha
i must get one full set
i tell myself!!!!!
hahahahha
for who to see...MYSELF OF COZ!!
woohoo.....u never know how a full set of lingerie
can set a women really happy, sexy and really bitchy.....
*winkz*
nope..u wont get to see till u r my close gal frens
or boyfren or husband..
maybe my sisters would get to see too...
hahahahha
ooi...jodarling: if we go m'sia? and get it by then..
we wear in our hotel room la!
woohoo..slumber nite.....hahahahaha...
HOT!
tuition was good...somehow maybe i would go teaching line
not MOE teacher...i love 1 to 1 feeling.....maybe would be piano teacher
see how la....
=o)
charles was like: " at least u arent as bad as i thot....not bad liao!"
something along that line...and might be getting 280 instead!
hey i was RT for 2-3 months for something okie????
hahahaha
and i havent got to chat w him after i said
"batt low liao....call ya when i get home...."
and wat was i doing?
drooling over my baby........heheheheheheh
and of coz, cutting brightass off my hp coz helo
i have to pay to tok to u okie?...hahaha
this guy......called to ask me AMI..
ooi...we tok another day...how about a full day just to discuss
AMI???????!!!!???!?*roll eyes*
always have so much to tok abt tat hur?.......hahaha
and i bet u cant catch mamma mia in singapore!=oP
okie the nap in the afternoon was rewarding again...
was feeling great after i "woke up" and thus the day was perfect!
=o)
maintain such good mood...i will be good.....PHEW
dearie:u wanna the VS stuff? will come online later in the day
i send ya the links to see if u wanna?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
fatigue isnt wat brings u down
it is the inability to rise above it.
the frustration isnt to get out of it,
but how to let it sink in and disappear
12:50 AM |
|
Thursday, May 06, 2004
i am so tired, tat i think i am heading back to sleep
slept till almost 1pm today and now?
i am to head back to bed
tell me, i am feeling the blues...
it is thursday hur
later still have tuition...
wat to prepare????
2:20 PM |
|
definitely not feeling good
lewis was like..."ooi...u might be falling sick!"
CHOI!!!!
no way ah!!!
i am still going strong i hope!
heehee
okie i am really getting tired from alot of things
mind is straying like no 1 business
and this time, pray tat PMS wont be bad...
if not, how to tide over this!!!!!!!
hahahahahahaha
*winkz*
*winkz*
oh well...
think i havent been toking to dearie and darling
not tat i am neglecting u pple!!!!!...sorry la
been in a weird mood...
=oP
still love u 2 dearly.....=o)
-------------------------------------------------------------------
many a times, u sometimes wish u r away, soaring
up and away, high and far.
yet when u look ard, u lack a pair of wings.
but when u can free ur mind, u r already flying
even without the pair of wings
and u dun even have to take flight,
u just soar in spirit
how sweet hur?
12:33 AM |
|
goodness...
my inner ball of my feet are dying!!
jive and tango was pretty fun
hahaha
lewis and i thinking if we can actually go for the medal test
hahaha....
both of us practiced till we almost dropped dead....
DEAD
hahahaha.....
i am so tired now till i am about to KO?
but haha...waiting for my hair to dry, and CSI to start at one
think i better extend my lab for another 2 months..
oh well..the other 2 are doing it and got already the permission
oh well....
i will know wat to do soon...
tuition tomolo..hope i dun screw up
if not, think charles will really slay me ah!
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
fatigue overtook me to an interesting level
though was irritable, yet i could control it.
i am learning to let it go i hope
*prays*
hopefully i wont get too many stabs in the future
time to sleep soon,
b4 i lose my nonchalency...
12:21 AM |
|
Wednesday, May 05, 2004
hrmm...
nothing much happened
just tat my feet hurt abit after salsa
salsa quite a bit and gosh
hahah....realised i should go teaching line
never mind
hahahaha....
i wanna tell paps..
no need to help me get another partner...
i rather walk ard and correct pple.........
luckily lily was there...
heng...... but no routines as yet
haha
think this class pretty not bad....as usu
guys always get it SLOWER and MORE RIGID
than girls
hahhahaha....
tomolo is jive n tango nite..
die!!!!!
--------------------------------------------------------------------
for a day, no chance to be so bothered at all
even in lab...i was totally bochap and nonchalent..
guess i am getting so used to it
maybe being so busy has made me think much less?
but not true....
i have been thinking alot...asking myself
wat do i really want and need once again?
this time i wanna time out.
a big one.
and i will get it.
12:37 AM |
|
Tuesday, May 04, 2004
ooi
where's my durian season???
SIAN!
bleah....
hahahaha
*staring at dearie and darling*
i should start writing a list...
hahaha..this list is pretty explicit
hahaha....
it is how many ____ _____ ___ __?
hahahahahhaha
go figure!
1:55 AM |
|
Monday, May 03, 2004
its been the fourth day tat i have been so nonchalent
and it has carried thru the day
though something really screwed up happened in lab
i realised i have really "interesting" lab partners
they took all 6 water baths available in the lab
and left with almost no place for me?
oh well
heck it then....
was fucking pissed for like hrmmm 15 mins?
and just shrugged it off
okie went shopping, nothing much happened except gotten
2 tops. and nothing really much happened
was chatting w piano teacher, and she said
"i think i totally understand how u feel, i went thru b4
and it is going to drive u out, isnt it? tat's wat it did to me"
hahaha....how true. i will, really.
and gosh...looking at my piano fren who wanna to get
married 2-3 yrs down the road,
i tell myself....getting married?
way to expensive though the idea of a family is soo
appealing, but hahahaha.....
single life is still good la...*winkz*
oh well, tomolo:
lab the whole day, salsa in the evening
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
never knew how i managed to stay this calm pretty fast
it is getting better every day.
i guess, ur heart is sometimes split into a few parts
and i think, most of my heart has died.
i dunno if i can revive it in any way.
the only part or parts tat are alive,
cant be harmed as yet, coz u dunno which they belong to
just tat, i guess, to this pt,
so weirdly, i have nothing to do w anything anymore
i have myself to live,
i have myself to dream
hrmm...was this a song?
maybe
hahahahahah
9:54 PM |
|
i need a dance partner!!!!!!!!
DAMN lor
hahaha
but i have a good feeling
hiankai....if u r good..we can try hahahaha
c'mon....
heehee
damn
i really need to practice...practice w air every time is tortuous
and i cant remember those routines!!!!!!!! due to lack fo practice
hahahahahaha....
and goodness..
rumba and rhumba is the same?
and i was arguing w shaowei abt it...
nuts...
and i think, dance has brought me alot of "pain"
sigh
my poor right big toe!...
boohoo...
and hopefully my calves dun grow too big?!?!?
hahaha...
hey i love my legs okie?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
nonsense, i have all the time
is just meant to chase all the blues away
but i could only borrow tat moment of joy
and only to return straight after to the keeper
if only my feet could bring me further,
but my heart left here,
how could i be split and not understand a thing?
12:00 AM |
|
Sunday, May 02, 2004
i just had my best fren asking me "r u okie"
and have my buddy asking me "oh!, u dun seem to make sense!"
so wat does it imply? am i not feeling good or just simply nonsensical?
i have no idea
the only word tat keeps ringing in my head "nonchalent"
guess, tat's how i feel abt today.
nothing gets into me, nor do i get into pple.
anyhow, was down to the florist today to get some flowers with my da jie
and jervis of coz...so my sister was carrying him and then the 老板娘
commented "orh...is this ur son?..really look like u leh!"
so there again, my sister told me, alot of pple said my son looks like his father too
so thinking of zeroth law of thermodynamics
so i guess, my sister and bro-in-law do look alike hur?
夫妻脸。
hahaha
think getting very tired though i slept alot alot these days
but i still see my terrific skin condition not get even more terrific?
hahaha....
watever..
*shrugs*
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
shoot me shoot me!!!!!!
if there's always something bigger out there,
y am i still sooooo small
okie, i shant question relativity
i am not einstein.
but hey, can i? i miss my days
i miss my days!
heck it, shrink me God.
i rather be a speck of dust than to be of a human
it is way toooooooooo torturing.
AMEN.
10:50 PM |
|
Saturday, May 01, 2004
finally got my dancing shoes..and paid in all 100 bucks
hrmmm..
oh well allen n alice goh...famous couple
oh well
they are very nice pple
hahaha..think i am so densed
i never knew the social and ballroom club in nus existed long ago?
oh well...sigh....
but never mind..will keep on learning!
and i saw them doing the samba?
WOOHOO
drool
i will be like them....watch me...
will learn all the dances...ballroom: standard and american?
hahaha
i wanna learn tat samba dance?
but let me master my salsa, jive and tango
hahaha
u guys should have seen me and lewis trying so hard
to hahaha..JIVE! so fast!!!*faintz*
tango wasnt easy....sheesh..i think i never got it right
going to practice soon.......
hahha..will get paps or meng...
think it is argentina tango or wat?
argh...all these techical names.....getting me super comfused.....
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
sometimes, i truly wonder, watever things would be
maybe, i am just have nothing
at least, dance is keeping me happy
can u believe i can tell lewis, while jiving?
smile dude! enjoy urself!
ahhaha...and i started to grin at him...
oh well....
i am a nutcase
10:42 PM |
|
think, i have been so dead today
almost got myself a tombstone today
really
i really wanna go and die
for once in my life, i actually want to die this badly
then i wish i would not wake up from my sleep
if u have reached to my situation today,
yeah u would wanna die too
my heart was minced up into a pulp
and was squeezed dry of blood.
in the end, i actually think, my presence in this world was
totally useless, and worse, a nuisance to this world
so i guess, my heart and mind are so dead now.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
went to salsa club, just to practice, and i guess,
paps alittle hahaha....strict on me liao
i am to teach on tuesday, so i have to be careful
with all my little actions.
then managed to practice w meng instead
got much better....
think i am getting wat "tension" is all abt
oh well
and the funny thing today was
paps started to tell me alot of things on our way back home
and he tok abt back in KL blahblah...
then how terrible the salsa scene is coz there isnt much order in dancing
and then, the manager of the club is terrible...(which i totally agreed)
bad attitude and REALLY BAD PR SKILLS....
faint...imagine it isnt the pple who are rowdy?
it's the manangers of the club tat got really rude?
*shakes head*
then he went telling me abt him blahblah...
then suddenly....he said this just like this
"hey...u beginning to know alot of things abt me?"
DUH?..i went "hur?..u jsut wanna to tok..so i let u tok...???"
and mind u..i din ask tat much lor...
i was just asking him abt the clubbing scene in KL
and zouk there?...
*roll eyes*
baichi, i think....
and he got pretty worked up while complaining abt the manager blahblah....
hahaha..easily worked up guy i should say...but y?..hahaha...heck it..
impatient...still..hahahha
hahaha.....err...learnt martial arts...
ooi...jodarling..u can spar w him...he also tae black tip
watever
i miss my baby..hahaha
he is sooo cute...
gotta wait till next thursday for OC
heehee
sigh..i need to distract myself
if not, i would start to rot again..
i dun want to smell further and become a useless person
HAI~~~~
trobbling headache
help.....
hahahah....give me valium
watever....
1:08 AM |
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