for a world that doesnt exist
for a universe that stands still
contact:
relacon@gmail.com
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DAILY INSPIRATION:
this day, i pray
this day, i smile
this day, i wish u all the best!
Archives
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wat u want to abt me?
and why?
how much can u find out,
when i dun even know
who i am?
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Saturday, December 25, 2004
haha
wat a christmas day!!!
hehehe
again won in mahjong...heehee
then
my PARENTS bought mahjong set home.. though i miss bridge still!
=oP
and saw my parents played really PRO mahjong
gosh......
and got 3 gifts
1) exchanged gifts in company and got an ornamental piece which haha..i kind of din really fancy.. but oh well!
2) IA boss gave me something, and to be truthful it has a nice pink box, but the inside is weird...heavy and ornamental again. and hahaha...luckily he got my gift (for company exchange which is so much more practical..)
3) mr LIM JIAN AN! (havent scolded u) sent me a parcel which i was like wat the heck is there a parcel on my table when i got home at 1.30am from meeting steph.
and it was PERFUME! hugo boss woman. hahaha...DIAONG. hahah but it is sweet smelling which is heng coz i HATE those grassy smell
and now i am feeling tat he purposely lost to me in mahjong.....
and i know u r reading this.. I AM NOT GETTING THE 16 BUCKS FROM U!u should know wat i am referring to... but hey, THANKS! it is a nice surprise for me. coz i was just "looking" fwd to JUST an orange x'mas card hahaha....
heehee...
when is my CHRISSY coming back?
hehehehe
2:26 AM |
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Thursday, December 23, 2004
lalala
baby!!!!! (yesh....alwyn tan!)
heehe
got ur pink x'mas card which goes
front: "deck the halls with boys and folly..."
hahahahha...
HEY...it is okie w/o the orange.
i was very HAPPY to receive something from u!
=o)
it's my first x'mas card!
hehehe
=o)
10:52 PM |
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this is the pair of earrings tat steph n elena bought for me to go with the top! heehhe..and apparently, they saw me wearing it and found it nice on me! =oP 
10:42 PM |
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yes yes this is the NEW top tat i am yearning to wear SOOOO MUCH... but it is left for CNY coz i am utterly broke. but i tell u, i look super HOT in it... HEH
10:41 PM |
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my new pair of ORANGE dancing shoes. heehee.. i love this soooo much....coz it is orange..but it costs me 86 bucks..ouch!!!
10:40 PM |
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Wednesday, December 22, 2004
1:45 AM |
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Tuesday, December 21, 2004
OCEAN TWELVE!
hahahaha
okie i think the 1st is better! any objections?!
anyway...hahaha
"do i look 50 to u?"
"no...but maybe neck n above"
MUAHAHAHAH
tat's my fav!
i love tat dress catherine-zeta jones wore when she met her dad
LOVELY
heehee
1:21 AM |
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Monday, December 20, 2004
think brix at hyatt is a great place! to dance latin and salsa!
gosh..though the dance floor is small
but hey! it was fun
i was on my feet at all times.
first was chacha, then salsa (had a hell of a time remembering my basic moves i've learnt from paps and sigh, i have disappointed him... hahaha), then rumba!! gosh...
though we have limited steps to rumba but i was able to add in from chacha moves!
hahaha...*tink* think it is a great place! and pierre was a good host! thanks for the drink and chacha/salsa... hahaha... not bad
hahaha..and becoz of which i almost became a SPG (the real one came later)
and all my gal frens went "see la..if u put make up like her, have her boobs...then yesh..u r already SPG" and NO i am no SPG wannabe....PLS! dotdotdot..just becoz i was the first girl pierre run to to dance doesnt make me one...dotdotdot hahaha *faintz* i am so bloody broke, the dancing shoes i had for half a yr is giviny way, it is half torn at the sole!!! and i have spend another 86 bucks on a new one... but guess wat? it is ORANGE! but it is very chio!! matches my orange toe nails! heehee..
oh well, on a sadder note, i have no idea,
then again, i realised i have this dream tat was meant to share with some1,
but i realised, i cant continue this dream.
if so, i must learn to be totally independent and withdraw from all emotions
then i am able to find my own piece of sky.
snippets of memories rushed in like the waves to shore
though happy, the remembrance suddenly became a sad story.
a piece by a piece, dropped from the sky.
there aint no link, no bridge.
there is no ending, no beginning.
it never exists.
they are just memories, of no date and time,
they are just memories, locked away by time.
they are just memroies, living by in the mind, all the time.
1:04 AM |
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Friday, December 17, 2004
just read jo's blog and wanted to luff
but dunno, can i just be depressing today?!
the feeling is such a sneaky creeppy fellow.
it just crawled onto my back, into my mind and just entered my blood and nerves
so how do i get it out?
besides questioning who i really am, telling myself tat i could not have eaten
a "always-forget-me" pill, but the truth is, i did.
couldnt sleep properly the whole week. and today supposedly my last day for IA
but apparently, i was so desperate for 325 bucks, i have to slog for another 2 weeks when i could bother to enjoy my last holidays b4 the hectic sem 8 starts
but i guess, i need the cash for my trip to USS, so i told myself
no matter wat happens, i WILL go to USA regardless if any1 else isnt going.
havent written in such a language for a long time. i am not toking abt english, but the tone of my words, the seriousness of my thots, they are bugging me like flies.
i wish i could scream my thots out loud, but the more i want to blog, they retreated further into my cells, hiding somewhere behind the membrane which somehow, turn out to be one way, and the only way is IN and never out. therefore, i am again, bottling things in me, not telling any1 wat the hell went wrong w me.
i guess i've found the reason y i din bother to say, and of coz, the reason is definitely not of stated above! it is more of, the vicious cycle that i cun get out from. and again, i started to interrogate myself for wat i have done, opening and closing the door to my emotions, and not able to grasp it a little tighter, and preventing it from getting hurt. and the whole pt, taken a lot of rides, and i am feeling those outbursts more strongly than ever. if i am angry, i am angry. when i am happy, i am really happy. it just runs thru me, like a ghostly silhouette passing my whole body, with that thunderous sensation, u just cun help all this
though with the intense moods, i was able to think tat i am angry, yet i allowed myself to immerse in tat feeling. tat is a total sin isnt it?
no wonder when i am depressed, i am so depressed that i can make pple ard me feel THE depression. not MY depression mind u.
HAI~~
jodarling: hey girl..so u busy girl!! shall we meet for coffee one day? i miss u terribly, i know u r really busy with ur programming..dun fret okie!!!
me always here for u... take carez! and i sms u, u either sms alot alot or u dun sms back.. hahaha....diaong...
steph dearie: ehehe..now u have a reason to go USA! hehe..we shall go find phyllis! so cool..and girl ah...50K plus a yr isnt alot
coz i think 35% goes to tax. and standard of living in chicago isnt tat low eh...
but all in all, congrats phys! (dun i know she doesnt read my blog heehee)
6:59 PM |
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Thursday, December 16, 2004
HAPPY 2ND ANNIVERSARY!
hahahah
i have this blog for 2 yrs!!!!!
gosh
i cant believe.
so much have happened, and this blog has been through thick and thin with me
i love u blog!
*muackz*
to many years ahead!
*cheers*
ironic
(Alanis Morissette )
An old man, turned 98
He won the lottery, and died the next day
It's a black fly in your chardonnay
It's a death row pardon, two minutes too late
And isn't it ironic?
Don't you think?
It's like rain, on your wedding day
It's a free ride, when you've already paid
It's the good advice, that you just didn't take
And who would've thought? It figures
Mr. Play-It-Safe, was afraid to fly
He packed his suitcase, and kissed his kids goodbye
He waited his whole damn life, to take that flight
And as the plane crashed down he thought, "Well isn't this nice"?
And isn't it ironic?
Don't you think?
It's like rain, on your wedding day
It's a free ride, when you've already paid
It's the good advice, that you just didn't take
And who would've thought? It figures
Well life has a funny way of sneaking up on you
When you think everything's okay and everything's going right
And life has a funny way of helping you out
When you think everything's gone wrong and everything blows up in your face
A traffic jam, when you're already late
A no smoking sign, on your cigarette break
It's like ten thousand spoons, when all you need is a knife
It's meeting the man of your dreams, and then meeting his beautiful wife
And isn't it ironic?
Don't you think?
A little too ironic?
Yeah I really do think
It's like rain, on your wedding day
It's a free ride, when you've already paid
It's the good advice, that you just didn't take
And who would've thought?
It figures
Life has a funny way of sneaking up on you
And life has a funny, funny way of helping you out
Helping you out
for u shaowei.
life is indeed a bitch.
but guess, the world still spins!
9:07 PM |
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Wednesday, December 15, 2004
i must be super unlucky today
sigh
i dun get bonus
i dun get my extension (yet, and y am i hoping??) while JA got his and his 800 bucks
and i might even get a "speeding" ticket for nothing
so.... sigh... f**k
i rather lose tat mahjong money than 150 +800+ watever bonus
sigh
@%&(&$$%^&*
i am just so broke
BLEAH
i think i seriously think,
this is soooo true
the higher u climb, the harder u fall
i wonder sometimes, when u r able to stand up
and to fall again, is because the going got tougher than u could ever take it
it breaks u up once again
so sometimes, y do one bother to stand up again?
yeah, maybe one would shout "dun even let it make u fall"
but we are only humans.
i aint as tough as i thot i could be too.
expectations of such calibre only hurts, and disappoints doesnt it?
learn not to expect
and sheesh
when i am depressed, i am truly depressed.
when i am happy, i am delightfully gleeful
AWAY i go
so tat i wont exert my tenacles of influence onto others
sigh, y am i suffering from dory's short-term memory?
i just simply dun seem to learn my "valuable" lessons.
wat the hell went wrong?!
heaven wonders too.
i am no angel,
i am no devil,
nothing is nothing
everything is everything
the song rings once again in my head.
i hear the notes so bright,
i feel the strings.
but i cant sing out loud
just like the bird cun spread its wings to soar
11:15 PM |
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Monday, December 13, 2004
think
i am going to do soemthing a little
UNNICE
ignore me
can i be mean?
can i just not be myself?
then again, who says i am a nice girl?
hahaha...
no la..i wanna to be a taitai (those not married kind)
my fren said this, a girl "u know, u have the SPG and the taitai look"
THANKS AH!?
hahahhaa
all i can say is
WAITLONGLONG.
1:00 AM |
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Saturday, December 11, 2004
today i think me pretty lucky!!!
mahjong: 20+
and it is 一家赢三家
super lucky la!!!
=o)
baby brightass!
think r deaf...the moment u called me? i went "ALWYN TAN!" u kept saying whowho?
dotdotdot..but hey thanks for calling!!!! very happy to hear ur voice!!!!
hey maybe i call u on m sunday morning instead of u calling? or becoz u get it cheaper if u call?
i still have calling card value hehehehe
anyway..enjoy ur holidays okie!!!! NYC and colorado..
i am planning for my escape to USA too... =o)
miss u lots buddy!
1:28 AM |
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Wednesday, December 08, 2004
u know wat does this mean? that i have liked the right colour ORANGE its jsut me! WOOHOO this is who i am and i am in love with myself! *winkz* alas! i have no fears. i have already found myself, din i? *double winkz*
10:44 PM |
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Monday, December 06, 2004
okie all pictures and few words seem boring!
then again hahaha
bintan trip is abt
1) sea and sun
2) balls = water basketball and beach volleyball
3) sand
4) mahjong (yesh..i dun get it either..i din play but watched pple play)
5) EAT
6) cards
hahahahaha
yeah
tat's abt it
and for ur info
it was a COMPANY RETREAT
tat's y i have so many pple going with me
hahahahahahahhaha
=o)
JA: ooi..the photo we took abit BRIGHT eh? maybe u r too fair..tat's y...
hahahahha
Al: wah...u kept checking my blog? hahaha..how r u my dear baby?!?!
exams over eh? when r u going over to colorado. u know, my erjie is still rotting in SINGAPORE
SA1s: guess our bridge has to be pushed back hurhur???
11:00 PM |
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Sunday, December 05, 2004
me and JP
10:19 PM |
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the couple i dunno. but felt it was pretty to take
10:18 PM |
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nature is always beautiful
10:18 PM |
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group photos of who i usu hang out w, but haha..i am not i it...
10:17 PM |
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me and "gao mei" Qi lin
10:17 PM |
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me and LJA (i like MY hair in this photo)
10:16 PM |
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me and chua (CTC)
10:15 PM |
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jolin n me...
10:13 PM |
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Friday, December 03, 2004
think my mood this week changes like capricious weather.
PMS i exclaim!
anyhow,
off to bintan till sunday!!!
yiipeeeeee!!!!
10:31 PM |
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Wednesday, December 01, 2004
it has been a weird yr isnt it?
seen pple in and out of rides
hey dear cousin (liwei)
i know it is tough, i have been thru it too.
i know it hurts alot alot and u just cant focus and everything turns out bad
but hey, it isnt the end of the world.
just let the pain go away slowly, the wound will heal slowly but beautifully
and u will remember as a sweet past and move on.
meanwhile, just let it be.
i love u lots!
hahaha...and yeah, i'll be there for u like u have for me!!!
=o)
JA: if u r reading this....dotdotdot....i cant believe u said tat....hahahah
no la...not sneaking ard but FEEL like we were sneaking ard... coz of all the
suanings i get everyday at work?!?!? it gets into u quite badly, coz u arent in my shoes?!
and i am just being honest with u and tat's y u treat me as a fren becoz of who i am, right?
hahaha...i din say this coz i wanna my treat la! coz i treat u like my buddy mah..
i have always enjoyed ur presence and ur emails hahaha and ur silly whining!
no worries.. and yeah.. the rides u drove me home!
=o)
if always, u know u r important in some1's life,
that u have always have some1 there,
it is all tat matters
(is this how u feel when u jsut broke up with some1 u like?)
and as jodarling goes
LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL
and tat's because,
U ARE ALWAYS BEAUTIFUL
cheers
1:20 AM |
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