Sunday, January 30, 2005
i would be so broke just b4 CNY..betting on at least 150 bucks of hongbao!!! to compensate!...
but u know, 105 on beginning samba
and 45 on inter rumba
is worth it
hahaha
but i find it amusing to look at lewis when i dance rumba
hahahahaha
sigh
back to notes and DP
no more $$$$$ spending!!! except for food!
JIAYOU!!!
nothing is impossible, only when u think it is!
4:04 PM |
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Friday, January 28, 2005
i really cant wait for SAMBA
the music gets into me like no1 business!!!!
hahahahhaa
liwei is inspiring me to be a competitor!
hahahaha
i am very tempted to go NTU to see how shaun teaches
hahahaha
and
let me SAMBA all thru the nite
the music is ringing in my head
while i do my HYSYS...
hahahaha
2:35 AM |
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Thursday, January 27, 2005
i am praying really hard
really
i just need to get a chem eng job for the moment now.
one just brushed past my shoulders
i just wish i can be there for pple.
how many times NOW, esp when u are already an adult,
pple bother to listen to ur 心事？
i guess sometimes u wish some1 would, u either lazy to say, or no 1 to tok to?
well, i am always there my frens!!!!
random ramblings.
i love this way, and i love private cousin time with liwei!
guess we are like on same boat.
and i think huimin and elena are very pretty this sem. huimin lost weight and got
nu ren wei! hahaa...so i have myself surrounded with pretty girls!
steph no need to say, elena has always been the well-known GREAT girl, and now huimin..
wah... dunno where to stand?! ahaha...but always, i will be the noisy, on the waiting-list-for-mental-institute girl! forever making stupid remarks that make 3 of them go "u okie or not? not enuff sleep ah? again?!...*bang my head against the desk*"
hahaha...think next time if i can get a job, i should go be a clown....dum dee dum..
feeling the blues as accordingly, missed that CHANCE to be trained in USA to be a chem eng and back to singapore...sigh..i was CALLED UP....
everything is so close, yet so far isnt it.
i am always not tat lucky in this sense.
random ramblings....
the CMI guy's fren decided to dance with me, and i got all giggly..coz the thot of him dancing with me in class, and hahahahaha...... GOSH *slaps forehead*
just corny.
random ramblings...
i need a dance partner and lewis said he doenst mind as long as we get a job next time and have the time! hahaha.. i want to be a dancer.
really..latin dancer, full time.
as if.
so near yet so far.
rest in peace.
1:12 AM |
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Wednesday, January 26, 2005
Emotional
(diana degarmo)
Sometimes I get emotional
Sometimes I do some stupid things
Sometimes I say what I should keep inside
Sometimes I’m sad about everything
Sometimes I’m mad and break some things
Sorry times ten but you just got in the way
Don’t give up
No running away
I wont hurt you
Sometimes I’m just a pain
And that’s the way it is
That’s just the way I am
Sometimes I feel like crying
Laying down and dying
That’s when I need you
Laughing's always easy
But sometimes I’m just scared you'll leave me
That’s when I feel.. emotional
You say I’m just impossible
Totally unpredictable
I’m just a girl, get used to it
No big deal
You cant change me
Why would you try
I’m no angel, but I can make you smile
And that’s the way it is
That’s just the way I am
Sometimes I feel like crying
Laying down and dying
That’s when I need you
Laughing's always easy
But sometimes I’m just scared you'll leave me
That’s when I feel emotional
(Don't give up) Don’t give up
I wont hurt you
Oh, sometimes I’m just a pain
And that’s the way it is
That’s just the way I am....
That’s when I need you
Laughing's always easy
But sometimes I’m just scared you'll leave me
That’s the way I feel
Ohhhh yeaaahhhhhh
I feel
Sometimes I get..emotional
this is one of the best songs i have heard for this yr
i think becoz the lyrics hit right into my heart.
hahaha not the part where i need u?
i need peace, yesh..U, peace.
r u there for me?
1:29 AM |
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Monday, January 24, 2005
listening to a song that runs like a repeated track on your cd player
you questioned the possibility of understanding what is all installed for you
no answer could fill up the emptiness once it is sectionalised.
confusion is all i gained so far. so much of convincing myself!
no, that doesn't make any sense at all. You didn't even speak a word!
i am storming out of this room, out of this shit, you have given me nothing but nothing.
the words that have come out from my mouth, meant the thousand knives you sent through my heart.
the trust was given, the help was issued, understanding topped all these, only to be thrown back in disgust
Congratulations! you've struck the biggest lottery in this world! welcome to the club of hell
distillation through the collumn. what's on the side streams? nah, no anything worth of sale. they are just all salt.
smiling upon the loser, who struts around the stage, screaming for attention.
in the end, he was stripped of his role, and back to who he was, a sore loser.
a time to rejoice, a time to sing to the tune, a time to dress up, a time to cry
when would be the time for a good smile?
truly, madly, deeply
for every meaning in life, means to search for the purpose of meaning.
i guess each time i climb down to dig further, i've found myself digging my own grave
i am further down even more than ever.
i pray to the stars tonight. i sign off my last sentence.
the universe holds the piece of dream i have weaved.
the sky won't crash onto me. no, it never will.
even when i close my eyes, i soar, high.
be the hope, be the love, be the peace,
this breath continues, as long as i am alive.
live up the spirits with the rising sun.
only the darkness speaks of secrets,
the flowers scent spread the land with beauty,
sing to the song of joy, for tear drops are endless.
wat's there to weep, my darling?
-- questionably, NOT in love with anything or anyone. it is the loss of direction once again. not becoz i am in the wrong faculty, but becoz my attitude din adjust till now. period --
11:23 PM |
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Friday, January 21, 2005
i like the feeling of a complete life
hahaha..
lewis and i were chatting abt tat, when we were walking to mrt
then something hit me.
wat is a fulfilling life?
and i was still thinking of wat i would like to tok abt for 3mins during HRM
i guess, till this pt, i am pretty fulfilled in many ways.
not saying i am a big perfectionist hoping to get the fullest out of my life!
then again, getting the fullest out of life and having a fulfilling life are two different things, yesh?
guess, at this time of ur life, u learnt alot alot than ever, and u realised how pretty life can be.
sometimes it really irritates me, like thinking of some weird pasts, then it got aggravated. yet when u tell urself, to hey, not to think abt it then, bring urself back to present moment, alot of things have changed.
so i guess, it is a matter of attitude, matter of flexibility, a matter of changes, a matter of being focus.
this is wat i am going to say abt on my HRM, not the presentation but the topic of
"think thru wat are the changes in ur life as u r going thru it now."
how appropriate.
i love HRM and i am also in love with law.
i din study food tech lecture notes, i din study petrochem
but i went to read HRM readings and went thru law notes twice.
i must be mad.
11:06 PM |
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Tuesday, January 18, 2005
i am amused
very amused
hahahahha
i weigh actually 55kg at chris' house!!!
really
55kg
i am not kidding
this is the 3rd week running where i dun get good, sufficient sleep
i pray i can get it soon.
11:12 PM |
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Monday, January 17, 2005
i am REALLY busy
now even pple who want to ask me out for dinner have to queue?!
anyway, but movie like kinsey with joanna is no excuse
and priorities only goes to cousins and gal frens for the moment
i have no more time!
and jive was pretty okie!
hahaha...got myself on the video, with shuan of coz!
hahaha... left with wed, science!
and now back to more emails, invites, piano and absorption/stripping!
PUI
11:04 PM |
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Saturday, January 15, 2005
for the 3rd nite,
i have been trying to write my assignment on HRM and the topic is on SELF
for these nites, i have questioned myself who i really am, or rather how i self-concept me.
and i tell u, i have no freaking idea.
the only thing tat came to mind was, watever happened on that day, and how i would think of myself as when i have had such reaction.
1st nite: crazy girl, saying stupid things and being over-exaggerated
2nd nite: hot headed and stubborn, adament
3rd nite: indecisive and alittle ugly duckling than ever.
and i think, it is unhealthy!!!!!
coz i have thot of nothing pretty interesting.
nothing conclusive either.
so maybe this is how i would answer.(i have to describe myself in 25 words!!!)
hotheaded mule an excessive thinker, exaggerated feeler, impatient, understanding wannabe, mood swinger. a very contradictory person who sits on both extremes.
yesh and i think nothing but this?! hahahaha...
and then here comes the 2nd question of assignment
reflect on wat u have just written abt urself.
demeaning and being hard on myself, making things really hard for myself to live!
and this truly reflects who i am! PUI
"what do u do?" ..."i am just a ...." discuss on their self-concepts
i guess it is just them who lack a sense of accomplishment in wat they do and conclusively, judging watever they are doing are useless and unimportant. they felt their own insignificance in wat they are doing and have low self confidence.
and dun u realise, i am a hell of a critic and have alot to "analyse" for others and not myself?! no wonder i make enemies.
*ponderz*
depressing...really depressing.
am i having an identity crisis?
but maybe this aint a crisis. this is jsut who i am "a girl who keeps thinking she is having an identity crisis..."
dotdotdot.
life is indeed a bitch!
oh crap!
1:07 AM |
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Friday, January 14, 2005
and to oppose of wat i have written the day b4?
i think i need to cool it
getting alittle hot headed!!!!!!!
oh well
too many things happening this week
oh well
i just need to sit down and reflect myself
yesh, personal time has to come out somewhere!!!!! argh...
but i am just too brain dead to think of anything.
busking rehersal is driving me very tired and
it is next week! sigh.....
mad rush again
haha got my DRESS!!!!!! yesh! but went to alter itla
and yesh, my baby alwyn is back! jo n i missed him!
heheh... going to grab him out again!!!!!!
brightass: haha..might not be able to meet u on sunday!!!!
maybe for breakfast if u need to slip out.
=o)
1:19 AM |
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Thursday, January 13, 2005
FINE i have decided to start hunting for an orange wallet
of coz of good quality so tat i can last me
the current one is really beyond words.
oh well
hahahha...
anyway, i have realised many things are making alot fo sense?
or maybe subconscious thing has seeped out of it and come alive!!!!
i dunno, finally met jodarling for dunno how many weeks
i miss her, terribly in a way
then i started to realise, how interesting our lives have become
yesh, a little too boring, and too lamenty yet too, complicated
the problem when u grow up.
guess she was telling me to blog more.
i am trying, and realised, i need to blog down my thots more
my DP is abt stuff i ahve learnt in sulzer. and i am so glad for tat
then i remembered how much i was bitching abt my prof not letting me get into exxon
and then remembered how much i dreaded going to work for the 1st 2 months of my IA with nothing much to do except to freeze and do researches. and all these researches have come into use now. thank god. till the pt i enjoyed my IA with alot of things learnt, though within that short period of time, it has changed me.
i wouldnt say change, but has released me.
and then again, met up with cindy and weiling (her bday on friday!) and jo, and whilst waiting for the bday girl, 3 of us were chatting on how to become a taitai, blahblah, doing franchising for cosmopolitian singapore magazine.
and how much i can provide and complaining that i should have taken sociology and pyshcology instead of chem eng, with jo complaining she needs to be in law or arts too, with cindy thinking "hey...same here!!!" and we were just weaving dreams of the crappy things, how i could be vice editor of the mag, jo being the beauty consultant
hahaha. endless stuff and yesh i was being who i am, the crappy huihui with alot in her mind, crazy stuff, not quiet and definitely, instigating of wat things should be done.
guess, every1 does grow up dun we? many a times, we look ard, the pple ard us, our frens who we care, we bother to care, we bother to hang out with, how much we do think they are so impt to us, yet in this phase of life, wat are frens to u?
have u iven it a thot? coz ur attitude changes with life progression, ur own self would alter itself to suit environment. (as learnt in HRM and i bloody love it!)
how u protray urself in others, socially, publicly, privately?
as i listened to Lush! 99.5 with interesting music blasting thru my speakers,
i asked myself finally, wat keeps me alive?
then i saw the answer today.
when i was companying huimin to our DP meeting (she is the leader for our team 18!)
and decided to fight my way out. okie reasoning out with the lecturers out and gave constructive suggestions to solve the problem. of coz, IT IS ALL THRU MY OWN UNDERSTANDING. the students and the lecturers still have to come to a consensus dun we? and i realised, the final burst of me came true. and then i came alive, after being dormant for many yrs. i am running my motor once again.
of coz with a few other CN frens analysing and reasoning our way thru, we have made it work and not separate 4 teams for 5 ev students.
and make a pt taken by lecturer, unit 2 can be split into 2 units hahahaha
coz i dun wish to do 4 columns lor!!!!!!!
and dun think water can remove CO2 to a mere 0.something by wt in our final product?
hahaha.
too bad.
it doesnt make sense to u?
but it does for me
jodarling: this is the passion i saw in u when u started off ur sem 6? or sem7?
and i hope to see u fighting it.
LIFE IS A BITCH,
BUT WE HAVE MOVED ON ANYWAY
now i must stay focused for the next 4 months
to make it happen
grow within, grow outwards.
and dearie: hehehe...actually ugly duckling is something i truly think i am la
but i am not saying i am not confident of who i am, just i am constantly reminding myself, that, i aint perfect. no worries, paper chase is impt in many cases,
but only pple who truly appreciate the inner beauty or good qualities in u can make u shine further. though hard to find, but hey, make sure u shine first to attract them!
1:31 AM |
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Tuesday, January 11, 2005
hahaha
i think i am just so bored
and i still owe lewis a date
he supposed to treat me for my bday
which is like eeerrrr.... 3 months late? ahhahaha
bish
oh well
i BETTER PASS MY PIANO EXAM!!!!
12 MARCH
doomed
VERY DOOMED
10:58 PM |
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Sunday, January 09, 2005
dunno wat to say anymore.
i think it is the stress of the start of the final sem in school
or maybe,
just bad bad dayS i have experienced.
hahahah..
go dance class? can be the ONLY girl w/o partner!
hahaha...and the instructor suddenly can go
"huihui, r u in this class?y u r dancing with the curtains?!"
GOD.
i have been tat class for dunno how many weeks.
and of coz i am DANCING with the curtains.....
sounds pathetic? NO! it is just there isnt male dance partners la!
then again, me not mei li right? all the guys picked all other girls but me hahaha
that is amusing...
arghh..
something is wrong with me!!!!!!!
dun want.... dun want...dun want...
i dun wish to break the resistance!!!!!
ignore me
i havent been blogging like this for a long time havent i?
coz i have stopped working
and back to school
1:49 AM |
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Friday, January 07, 2005
been in mood swing for the past few days
oh well. *cramps*
very tired
not a cheongster
and wish something could really happen
but i wont bother.
it is always so far yet so near, and so near yet so far.
i like jive alot
kind of quite cool, within 1 hr, managed to build a rapport with shaun
so it isn tat bad.
when can i try to do rumba for performance?
at least tat's the closest i can get to a competition! ahhaha
all i know is i cant wait for samba to start.
i dun need to get high to dance, okie club then,
but doesnt mean i am havoc
i dance onto gal frens dun mean a thing. one wonders.
and i have a weird weird feeling
2 guys are going after me subtly, i think.... maybe i am wrong.
guess it is the coming of the end of schooling,
where alot of singles start to panic not to get a bf/gf?
hrmm, dun bother to question.
am i making any sense?
i love to "kang4" and i think my family should STOP playing w money
not very nice to see my erjie losing quite a bit.
my house cant turn into a gambling den.
n guess who's nagging them? ME!
and when they argued over mahjong till 1 who seldoms get angry, blew up,
2 in tears? who stopped all the playing shit?
ME!
weirdly.
how stupefying.
and i am not a good fish.
aka good catch.
u've got to be blind!
bed time!
it is 3am
n i think chris' got a cool mum.
and i speak taiwanese chinese w them!
so i guess, all the taiwan variety shows din go to waste.
2:35 AM |
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Tuesday, January 04, 2005
been playing mahjong the few nites for the past 2 weeks
and nope! not w frens but FAMILY?!
hahahah
it is funny
but hrmm...seriously having the PMS now,
everything is in a whirl
dunno y when i went back to NUS to meet a few classmates of mine for lunch
sitting at Eng canteen, it seems ages that i have done tat, drinking my tea alone
sitting there, waiting for something to happen
it is weird how a yr has past.
and hahah it was a funny yr
but i have definitely grown!
=o)
hahha...and nope, i am not going to make any resolutions
no pt. coz i dun remember them at all and they never seem to stick
but more like, i want to grow and understand more.
guess it is never a New year's resolution but more like a lifetime objective in life hur?
okie. not much to blog but have alot of things to settle at hand
finally got all my modules. checked!
now is to prepare for the start of the most hectic sem!!!!
and silly me also preparing for my piano exam...theory of coz.
goodness..y do i ALWAYS take piano exams during my most crucial yrs of my education?!?
hahah..... butt itchy i tell u! =oP
not in the best of moods, but staying positive.
once in a while i guess, u get the blues.
once in a while, i think, u get the sad memories
once in a while, i ponder, y life has to turn out so HAPPENING
but hahaha...now, i feel bored once again, needing something to amuse me badly
and my darling should be busy WCing...
babes and dudes! enjoy the yr ahead!
set priorities right and get them going!!!
and slowly, and hopefully, the big picture surfaces!
as i enter the last phase of my life to enter a new one.
just like how a little kid would feel when u first start school in K1
it is full of fear, yet with tastful anticipation.
i dislike being hidden in the dark!!!!!!
but hahaa..tat's the beauty of life!
it is indeed full of surprises.
SURPRISE ME!
=o)
ENTICE ME!
hehehe
i am nuts
no la
i am just bored!!!
i miss those days!!!!
and i need bridge.
oh well *shrugs*
9:44 PM |
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Sunday, January 02, 2005
HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA
i have just started my 2005 with a BIG SURPRISE!!!
heehee..okie...it better not followed the pattern of last yr..
starting good then gets bad! but i have a weird feeling is it all good!?
dunno y... hahaha...last yr din have such a feeling!
but i am really looking fwd to this big reunion!
ELLEN IS COMING TO SINGAPORE!!!!!
which means,
MGS 98 4B2 CAN HAVE A REUNION!
and i mean my clique! ahahhahahaha
tis is really exciting!
i have known ellen for 10 years.... yesh...this is going to be 10 yrs!
can u believe it!!!!?? and u know wat, she was this first girl i ever tok to in MGS
i was all alone there, and she was sitting besides me!
and i am going to have a hell of a time meeting all my girlfrens!
gosh....
I CANT WAIT!!!!!!!!!
gosh.
i am really happy
these years all together as mg buddies
sabrina, chun foong, christina, ellen, belinda, cheryl, val and yilin
WE ARE FINALLY BACK TOGETHER!
to my girls
8-10 yrs of frenship, always sticks to my heart.
all the ups and downs,
all the smiles and tears,
all the teasing and hugging,
what i only hold dear, are the sweet fond memories and innocence we held so tightly
till this day, i never forget how we would all tok abt mr wong, boys, classmates, bitching abt teachers and other fellow schoolmates, how we supported each other in schoolwork, in life and how we hang out at KAP
how we have grown my girls, how we have grown up.
our lives have taken all different routes but we came from the same background.
maybe one day, just one day, we can relive it once again.
in our uniform, in that classroom, in that memory.
love u always.
ever so dear.
and only this,
CAN LAST FOREVER.
2:08 AM |
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Saturday, January 01, 2005
it was a great new year's eve i ever had
was hanging out with christina and sabrina!!!!! at nite
at HV @ this pub called tango (should have danced my TANGO THERE)
hahaha
we ordered a jug of margarita and a bottle of white wine and had a hell of a time there! hahahaa...we were given party hats and more and were making a din! hahaha
it was good, really good.
chris and i had a roller coaster 2004
but i told her, with a start like this, 2005 will end WELL!!
but i wish the world will start to understand tat the war is not between humans but nature. as wat have happened to asia and most prob worldwide, we have seen that the 3rd world war was never between humans but wat nature can take away from us
dun take things for granted!
i feel glad tat my parents are still ard, playing mahjong.
i feel glad tat i have still frens i can hang out with, call and say happy new year
i feel glad tat i am still well and in one whole piece.
and remember there is NEVER a war.
there is only being more forgiving and caring.
if u never make a terrible mistake, there wont be revenge.
even if u did, ask for forgiveness.
TO A PEACEFUL AND A BOUNTIFUL 2005
and finally ended my IA
haha..i msut have been a good girl, the compnay likes me!!!
=oP
hahahhaa...
2:04 AM |
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