Thursday, March 31, 2005
Her feelings she hides
Her dreams she can't find
She's losing her mind
She's fallen behind
And she can't find her place
She's losing her faith
She's fallen from grace
She's all over the place, yeah
12:25 AM |
|
Wednesday, March 30, 2005
it seems really good to finish ur report and guess wat, i think i have really enjoyed doing it, though i could have done more, if i din have tooo little time.
these few days in E2, from 9am to 10pm, have brought many insights into my life.
i love working just in front of the PC (but i hate staring into it) doing something i truly enjoy and learning alot from it.
i think watever i have been doing for the past 6 sems (excluding IA sem) are uncomparable to this...
i need a good break from many things.
1) family
2) frens
3) self-denial
at least during this time, i wouldnt say i totally broke away from the above 3, but at least, i was at min contact in any sensitive issues except for MSN and huimin/steph occassionally beside me
it brought me to another light,
i need to get a job away from here.
i will, if i am willing to believe i can get a job first.
it all starts from there.
also, i ahve realised the limitations to one's capability and durability in many things.
and see the true side of pple.
but i love to work with pple who are willing to share, at least when i can help them, i feel we are all working together, to get this thing through.
it feels good to have good hearted pple ard u...i really appreciate u pple.
i wish i HAD the money, to stay in hall.
i think, i would have been more productive and more studious.
but it is all over.
i am just looking fwd to a new start, a new chapter of my life.
and i really intend to put everything i had from the past, behind me
cleanly.
becoz, i know, no1 including myself, will learn to cherish wat i have till i have lost it.
and i know i have lost many things and pple in my life already.
esp frens.
esp my own identity and self confidence.
but i still exist.
thus i live.
and will survive.
god bless
and i can see the huihui who just knows wat she is made of coming back slowly.
and her stand is the same as b4 (so much of burying the past) and she is preparing not just a journey, but a trip, she knew she has to take.
and to frens all ard me, as we are all leading our own lives, maybe paths have changed, i guess, being sentimental old me, i wont forget the good things tat have happened. coz i think, though how sad they may be, maybe somewhere somehow, in any part of us, hold something good, if u dun, then i guess, u might not have treated me as a fren at all.
some attachements u just cant shake them off.
and i have learnt to withdraw from them.
coz sentimental me would be upset inside, luffing outside
12:37 AM |
|
Sunday, March 27, 2005
i have never been this happy
i dunno y, but work like this has made me very focus.
though i have done alot of stupid things, alot of last minute changes,
but i am surviving well
and thank you huimin for helping me out with alot of other things! esp
heat integration
i dun mind a design engineer. if there's such a department.
i love looking at graphs to find the optimised options
and how to make things better.
the deadline is killing me, but i LOVE it.
and this is becoz, no 1 is judging my at this period of time.
maybe there are pple who still do, but who cares...
i do my work, u mind ur own business.
CHEERS
12:39 AM |
|
Tuesday, March 22, 2005
i am so stressed tat i can cry a river.
i dunno how to deal with all these now..
i think i have done REALLY badly for my RP...hrmm the report says it all
argh..
forget it..
i am just going to settle this and tat
and rethink my life once again.
at this stage, i wonder how much i have to do, instead of sitting here, whining lamenting crying for help. but am i REALLY crying for help? all i need is care and support. myabe i would thank huimin today for being there for me today. it is, so far, not a very great day.
i am not hoping for GREAT DAYS ahead. indeed, i dun dare to look up into the sky and cry "hey heaven, where have the happy days gone to which i used to cherish so much?"
deep down, i knew tat it is the route of life, instability, lost, unsureness and maybe unawareness. who cares so much these days abt the birds singing in the trees? the stars tat tried so hard to sparkle thru the thick haze...
as i sat down here, reading ym petrochem, getting confused, w/o any references to doublecheck my writings, i gave myself a little time out and sit back to look at the dark sky. is it going to rain? i wonder. or it is jsut another false alarm.
live and let live
life and let life.
in times like this, i would only dare to say, i am just trying to focus.
not saying tat i am NOT trying my best, i am, indeed. i stayed up till 3something just to settle an absorber which in the end cun work.
i guess, u may offer help in many ways or another, but they wont be appreciated.
really...but u know y i still stupidly offer help? coz my conscience pricks me all the time. it pricks so badly, tat i feel so bad, tat i almost could cry. it is the heart tat wrenches so hard, i barely breathe in regular time.
all i can comfort myself it isnt the results i would get makes me happy, coz i know i wont do well at all. i dun think i can pull it up to 3.5..., but it is the how i have survived thru.
and it wont stop
"dun u thik i have become a very negative person?"
"YES!!! VERY VERY NEGATIVE!!!!"
i cant help i guess...nothing works out fine at the moment...
dun think i am even cut to be an engineer, or anything else...
forget back to petrochem and DP report.
1:26 PM |
|
Saturday, March 19, 2005
i need CARNAVOOOO's SAMBA
i need heavy beats!
sigh..
my legs are aching...
i am tired...
i will get my introduction done first.....
and then it is petrochem!
dear blog, i have to endure till 30032005 then 13042005, then 28042005
pray for me would u?
i will pull through all these.
i need miss congenality 2 soon...
10:16 PM |
|
beep
beep
beep
i am a robot...
beep beep beep
i am for forever, but i still need new parts and greasing.
hot greasing
beep beep beep
i can roll
i can be dismantled.
beep
beep
beep
12:18 AM |
|
Friday, March 18, 2005
Dear Blog,
it is towards the end of another week in march. time does fly really fast. i have no idea how to deal with it. haha...no pt asking y and how to stop it, really. just flow with it doesnt it?
i have a test next week to deal with.. i did sit down and study..and i think i would soon.. but i would like to take a good rest tonight. how's rest for u? been thinking alot more b4 u go sleep? or just as usu, blank ur mind and slip into deep sleep?
weather's been really bad. HOT and Humid, windy but dusty... as u know, my block is having upgrading..pretty dusty and all. noisy too!!! guess when they are doing on my side of flats, i would permananently stationed in school!!..
how abt u? wat have u been up to? learning more new things? any good book to recommend? hehe..though i know i wont have time at the moment.
did i tell u i have discovered a new phrase? "closet fren"
haha..
okie i think i have ramblied alot.. alot..
i want to let u know something pretty interesting.
have u read the book Maya?
i bet u know wat i am toking abt dun u? i love the part when the couple tried hard in reconciliation. and they wrote each other letters. and one even think that the gecko is against him, telling him off now and then! amusing isnt it?
oh well hahaha...i would love to read more books tat are really amusing in nature.
dry humour, maybe hehehe...
oh no i have to go my dear blog.
hey blog, promise me something, no matter wat, dun give up yesh?
i know u have been going thru a rough patch, and nope i wont be like alot of pple, trying to tell u how LUCKY u r and how u are much better than others...tat wont help u i know...all i can tell u, i believe in u, like u have believed in me. slowly build up ur confidence. one failure is not a failure, just another step forward!
at this pt, i know alot of words wont help u in anyway..i know.. but hey, i am always here for u to lend a listening ear and give u a good hug...u know tat right?
take care blog!
enjoy ur trip up the mountains. may u find ur inspiration there! and ur very own enlightment!
1:07 AM |
|
Wednesday, March 16, 2005
dear blog,
how have u been? i've tons of work to do. i miss chatting with u, under the stars, over dinner.
is life getting more and more hectic? mine have...sadly, i seemed lost my dear blog.
hows things on ur side? getting better? feeling better or not? life goes on doesnt it?
remembered i told u e story of the woman whom i met on the bus? no, i never met her again. it was pretty interesting wasnt it? i guess it is time i need to sit down and think wat happened in her life. coz i realised, i was able to draw parallelly with my own life with hers. queer isnt it?
do u still remmeber we loved to watch the drama serials "sliders"?
yesh!!!tat's the one, when a group of friends was capable of travelling through parallel universes. they found themselves in different worlds and different pple but with the same face. freaky but really nice.
coz sometimes, it is good (or it could be bad...) tat u are away from ur own life and into some1's shoes and live it.
i am in this frenzy of the fnal sem.. hehe...u know, how u would alwyas scold me for being impatient and stuff...yesh..i have become MORE impatient... yeshyesh..i know!!!! but u know, i feel more guilty than ever. i must learn to control my feeling n temper..but the stress has mounted to this level tat anything else could be unbearable.
u know how much i wish i could have a life on my own. so that the physical presence of obligations and responsbilities could lessen my already heavy load.
but i chose this path, i guess i just have to finish it right?
how abt ur path u r taking now? has it turned out much better? i hope it is doing fine for u! i am sure u can make things right someway..somehow?
i am feeling tired..
i will write to u again blog.
i miss u terribly... i wish i could tok to u, but i know u wont contactable for some time. but it is okie. i am still writing to u.
p/s: i was intending to write into NUS centennial writing competition and convert my chance meeting of that lady into a short story. i would do it once my workload has lessened.. and i cant wait to go havoc!!! and hehe..yeshyesh...once i master my gershwin and my samba, we will go brazil and samba and play gershwin in bossanova way!....
take care blog.
smiLe
1:24 AM |
|
Tuesday, March 15, 2005
dear blog,
it was a weird weird day. i was on my way home on bus, i met this lady who was sitting beside me. we started to chat. she was telling me alot of her own stories.
At first, i felt a little uneasy. however, as we were toking, she started to tell me alot of her personal experiences and things she would like me to hear of.
all i did was sit and listen.
she started toking abt wat she was facing thru when she was at my age.
she went "many a times, i looked back to the past, and started to cry. i was such an innocent, a girl who thot she knew wat she wanted...i knew just wat to do. things were laid out straight and proper. i never question tat much of wat i could do and wat i cun do. i just did."
this is interesting i thot.
"i really slowly achieved things i wanted to do. i admit, i din get to achieve all. but at least, i knew i had some in my bag. then i started to learn abt things could be done if u knew wat u like to do. or rather u think u know wat u like to do..."
i wondered to myself, so wat do i want to do actually? i cun answer...
"it is weird when things have started to change. u start to grow old, u become super sensitive to ur surroundings. u start to become very wary of pple u hang out with, with wat they think abt u, how u feel...then u realised slowly, they actually dun give much of a damn to u. then u feel weirdly hollow in certain ways. i was pretty stunned and hurt for many times i was hurt badly."
"maybe i wasnt ready to face all these, then i told myself, i guess, who would be ready to face the harsh world out there?! and slowly started to see the more evil side of pple, and of coz the contrasting side of compassion. the drift is much deeper and wider this time. it is pretty stupefying on how things go ard u. they rushed in like stormy waves, and i din have alot of time to react to it. seriously girl, it was overwhelming. when i was younger, i never knew wat was knives thru ur heart meant, till then"
this is getting really freaky. this lady was telling me her life story. it sounded really vaguely farmiliar... u know, i saw her eyes turning red. i was taken aback.
but i guess, she just felt the old emotions coming. i guess, u can let them go, but u will never forget the taste of emotions..
"i met alot of problems, my moods started to swing alot alot. from an emotionally stable person, to one who could not define where her happiness lies and wat is the next step she is going to do for her future and to bury her past...i was really confused and very lost. i wasnt on a fork road. i just cun see at all... u know, if suddenly the burden increased its wt exponetially, u dun jsut feel the wt, u feel the ache and crakc in ur bones. u cant see anything infront, just stars and u start to csatch ur breath..."
"definer where her happiness lies and wat is the next step for her future and how to bury her past" haunts me till now, blog. it is ringing in my head. she said it with full of regrets yet wtih a tint of happiness, coz it seemed that she has found her way in life.
"u know young lady, many pple never knew wat life is all about. so i started to tell myself. it is just all abt eat, sleep and shit. that's how u can do to survive.
becoz if u cant even do all these 3 basic stuff...there's no meaning to life at all, not at all. i was glad i managed to eat, sleep (though not all the time) and shit.
it made me feel like human, not perfect but human. not wanted but still human. loneliness sets in the middle of the nite, with just the stars and the wind accompaning...yet u know, sometimes u r definitely better off on ur own. to think thru things, to daze and not think of anything, to be who u r and wat u want to be. that was me then"
"loneiness sets in the middle of the nite..." hrmm these words i heard b4...really..think as adults grow older, they tend to thik more....but i guess, "loneliness must be companied by company...that's y u feel the pinch?" i blurted
"yesh girl,yesh... coz u have it, and lost it. u have the taste of the forbidden fruit. it hurts but yet when it did and gone, u actually miss it..."
"gosh...u miss PAIN?? it has hurt u so y still thik of it?"
"things come in a pair. love and hate do the same..but love supposes to win it all..who knows, b4 we could attain love, we were already on the track of hate."
gee...i never knew tat. i guess losing something tat u loved alot must have pained. and i wasthinking to myself. wat hae i lost tat i loved so much?
i looked at that woman, tears were flowing, then i passed her a piece of tissue.
"thank u young lady, u r very kind. u have to learn to keep ur heart open. but once u get hurt, in anyway u will alwyas tend to close it. but it is fine, just learn to heal and open again. everything takes time to recover. life isnt an instanteous boom. it is evolutionary."
"life isnt an instanteous boom...it is evolutionary.." this sentence sounded very good. and i somehow agreed. and subconsciously nodded my head..
"myabe in ur life, u've gotten to see many things u never thot u would. i used to expect for the worst.really.. always think of the worst i can ever think of... yet i always yearn for the best...pray so hard. but i guess, when one falls too times a many, u jsut learn to accept the bad first then the good. but u must alwyas remmber, there's always goodness in every situation. since there's bad..they come as a couple..."
i think i was reading this book all over again. things come in a pair. i stared out of the window of the bus, feeling the wind blowing in my face and hair once again. a sense of calmness flowed from my head to my toes. it was very enlightenng.
i turned ard and wanting to ask that woman a question, but she has walked to the exit and alighted.
i waved bye to her, but she din turn ard at all... i saw her back walking away and as the bus drove off, i asked myself.
"in all the pplei have met, i met this woman who told me things i never thot i would have toked to. a total stranger. a chance upon. i must be mad or she is mad, but it left me thnking, left her a less bottled-up person. life is queer in its own sense hur. i guess, alot fo things do come as a couple. relativity doesnt it? think albert einstein might disagree. it is very touchy and extremely tactless when come to predestined happenings. i guess, somethings just dun have an explanation. or maybe, they do have a reason behind them but we just never know wat it is."
then i sat down, feeling the wind once again... i looked back to my past. wat was it like and comparing to wat i have now, wat's the difference?
i simply just din know how to compare. maybe i am alittle more mature, but ta'ts subjective. maybe i would just have grown. wat would i be like?! i was really tempted to ask that lady wat happend to her later...but i guess, it is for me to gues and comtemplate abt...
this time i turn ard, and closed the window
i saw a reflection in the window.
it was tat woman i have toked to previously.
maybe i would be like her, again and again, searching for that happiness, that path of way, and just being who i am and being accepted and loved.
i then bowed my head down and prayed for myself and her.
life is indeed beautiful in tis sense.
u never know wat will come next
anticipating with fear or excitement.
only ur fate tells u, blog
1:13 AM |
|
Saturday, March 12, 2005
this is kind of silly
oh well..i realy tried my best for my piano exams!!
i THINK i wont fail la.
hahahhaha..
hrmm
now back to HYSYS
i need to work hard.
but till huimin has called
DEADLINES:
1) 24/4/2005 ==> Petrochem test
2) 31/3/2005 ==> Individual report
3) 11/4/2005 ==> Food tech quiz (i think)
4) 13/4/2005 ==> Final report
5) 16/4/2005 ==> Law test
6) 20/4/2005 ==> START OF EXAMS! HRM2002
7) 23/4/2005 ==> Law EG1424
8) 25/4/2005 ==> Petrochem CN4211
9) 28/4/2005 ==> END OF EXAMS! Food tec CN4215
YESH!
THE END!
oh...haha...actually there's poster presentation next week
oh well..i wonder how to prepare for it....hrmm
okie i wont have piano till july!
but i wont stop playing...now still learning my gershwin..
okie...back to work
i need to read wat is individual report is all abt!!!!
BLEAH!
=oP
i miss my samba...
9:33 PM |
|
i cant sleep
maybe i am just stressed up
4:40 AM |
|
Thursday, March 10, 2005
been very very unstable for the whole week...
sigh...but i am better now...with more sleep just now..
i was totally dazed for the whole week...
breaking down inside...
but i guess, there's always hope.
just met jolin, and passed her her VS and she seems fine now, though she has broken up with her bf...but i guess...tat's life. yet i felt so much better to have met her up even for that short while. maybe it was becoz, i wasnt feeling sad or depressed or anything. it was just a brief encounter with zenness and alittle happiness to have met up a fren.
things and pple come and go.
wat was very refreshing was to walk home after the rain.
it was pretty calm though it was peak hours where pple rushed in and out.
nothing beats a soothing walk home doesnt it? i felt very very hopeful suddenly
it was pretty contrasting from wat i was feeling in the morning.
moody, tired and feeling sick. and yesh not to mention the CRAMPS...
myabe i would have gotten even more emotional.
now is indeed the time to stay alone and face urself alone.
dunno.
i just dun wish to be stripped off things or pple tat are dear to me
it is like skinning me alive.
ouch.
sigh.
back to CHASE and ehhe piano.
RED ALERT: PIANO THEORY EXAM ON THIS SAT...
8:07 PM |
|
Wednesday, March 09, 2005
haha..
i am still surviving!
i need a miracle, not to fall sick
i need to sacrifice for that some1.
and i wonder who tat some1 is
maybe i already knew who tat some1 is
but maybe i will never get to do it
thus let me sacrifice for that something
1:22 AM |
|
Tuesday, March 08, 2005
i love this blog
coz i can rant and rave and make the whole world think i am such a bitch
who is forever complaining and forever upset over something
and in addition it is a place where i just CANT stop thinking
and i jsut CANT take it easy.
perfect place for who i am, and yet, i dun have to CARE how pple look at me
and how being such an "unhappy" person would affect ANY1 ELSE!
i dun give a shit about who comes to my blog.
i just rant and rave.
i will just continue and wont stop.
so SUE ME..
i am not angry.
just very frustrated over many things.
i have learnt not to tok.
not to speak of a single word of unhappiness, or sadness.
i just pretend to be happy when i HAVE to...and be really happy for who i am when i am totally alone
so SUE ME...
i am a happy person in nature, but i am only just one who LOVES to tok to myself,
mumbling words in front of the tv WITH NO 1 ARD ME...
i love to tok to myself when i am doing work, memorising and understanding watever i am reading.
so SUE ME... if u dun like it.
i am happy this way.
so u know how to make urself happy?
i STAY away from pple who make me depress...
pple who think so highly abt themselves
thinking everything in their lives are so right and good.
i am not green-eyed or anything.
but pls, not all are like u.
pple need to be listened and need to tok it out.
if u cant do tat, stop ADDING FUEL TO FIRE
it wont work.
u only make some1 more miserable than ever.
this is just a reminder.
pple can be there for u.
hey, i am appreciative
but i also learn to turn to pple who are wiling to listen
but u know wat, i realised, alot of us DUN
really dun.
we are too preoccupied to everything we are doing.
i am not saying we have to be there ALWAYS.
but it is always nice to LEARN and MASTER HOW TO LISTEN
think he is right, tat listening isnt to give advice.
it is just to listen.
coz pple like me love to ramble
n i found,
no 1 has been able to take it from me.
so, i ramble to myself
and i am totally happy abt it.
so SUE ME...
i learn something abt myself this year.
tat is, every1 seems the same, but different in attitudes.
and for me, i just dun seem to learn to make my own life easier.
but it also means, i am not complacent. i STILL LISTEN...
so if u think i dun,
SUE ME...
and hell am i not happier alone.
really.
gosh.
at this time, when pms supposes to set in and makes me yearn for some1 to tok to,
i have actually turned the tables ard and make sure i am not yearning for anything.
just a quiet moment with myself.
i must have trained it since young, and lost it for a while.
really.
ahhh...
it sure feels sooooo good rambling and complaining...
this is the best i can get, and i am happy abt it!
i realised something.
i never knew who made me depress
but i sure know, i can make pple luff but yet i can make them sick too.
u can take me as a fool, a clown, a mad woman.
but i sure know, when to shut up and when to make u happy, LIKE U WISH ME TO...
how pathetic, this is how the real world is teaching me to, which i dread.
so i have decided i should just read my meaning in another way,
i am sure making u happy, for this makes me happy, for being who i am.
ahhh... does it sound like a hypocrite?
but it is sure a win-win situation right?
though deep down, i wish i have this soulmate who listens to me and i can listen to.
and NO there are many kinds of SOULMATES!!!!!...and i wish to find one who is wiling to listen hard for me and vice versa. and NOT A BF?! or GF?!
and accept who i am completely for who i am.
and reminds me of who i can be if there is room for improvement.
and guess wat, i think i've found it
and it is tat girl in that mirror.
2:00 AM |
|
Monday, March 07, 2005
may heavens give me strength and determination to carry on
all is not lost, for i have the ability to stretch..
and i am hungry..
bleah
i wish i can see u again
i wish i can tok to u again
just like b4
i know i am not as close to u as b4
and i dunno y
maybe i have lost u
maybe i havent
maybe it is all meant to be
i wish u all happiness
maybe hanging ard me is never a good idea
12:16 AM |
|
Saturday, March 05, 2005
Unwritten
-Natasha Bedingfield
I Am Unwritten, Can't Read My Mind, I'm Undefined
I'm Just Beginning, The Pen's In My Hand, Ending Unplanned
Staring At The Blank Page Before You, Open Up The Dirty Window
Let The Sun Illuminate The Words That You Could Not Find
Reaching For Something In The Distance
So Close You Can Almost Taste It
Release Your Inhibitions
Feel The Rain On Your Skin
No One Else Can Feel It For You
Only You Can Let It In
No One Else, No One Else
Can Speak The Words On Your Lips
Drench Yourself In Words Unspoken
Live Your Life With Arms Wide Open
Today Is Where Your Book Begins
The Rest Is Still Unwritten
Oh, Oh, Oh
I Break Tradition, Sometimes My Tries, Are Outside The Lines (yeh yeh)
We've Been Conditioned To Not Make Mistakes, But I Can't Live That Way
Staring At The Blank Page Before You, Open Up The Dirty Window
Let The Sun Illuminate The Words That You Could Not Find
Reaching For Something In The Distance
So Close You Can Almost Taste It
Release Your Inhibitions
Feel The Rain On Your Skin
No One Else Can Feel It For You
Only You Can Let It In
No One Else, No One Else
Can Speak The Words On Your Lips
Drench Yourself In Words Unspoken
Live Your Life With Arms Wide Open
Today Is Where Your Book Begins
Feel The Rain On Your Skin
No One Else Can Feel It For You
Only You Can Let It In
No One Else, No One Else
Can Speak The Words On Your Lips
Drench Yourself In Words Unspoken
Live Your Life With Arms Wide Open
Today Is Where Your Book Begins
The Rest Is Still Unwritten
Staring At The Blank Page Before You, Open Up The Dirty Window
Let The Sun Illuminate The Words That You Could Not Find
Reaching For Something In The Distance
So Close You Can Almost Taste It
Release Your Inhibitions
Feel The Rain On Your Skin
No One Else Can Feel It For You
Only You Can Let It In
No One Else, No One Else
Can Speak The Words On Your Lips
Drench Yourself In Words Unspoken
Live Your Life With Arms Wide Open
Today Is Where Your Book Begins
Feel The Rain On Your Skin
No One Else Can Feel It For You
Only You Can Let It In
No One Else, No One Else
Can Speak The Words On Your Lips
Drench Yourself In Words Unspoken
Live Your Life With Arms Wide Open
Today Is Where Your Book Begins
The Rest Is Still Unwritten
The Rest Is Still Unwritten
The Rest Is Still Unwritten
Oh, Yeah, Yeah
i think this song gave me a little hope, and not to think abt my bleak future.
though i cant help and think, how uncertain wat i want to do..
i guess, i still can complete my story, since the rest is still unwritten.
11:40 PM |
|
sentimental
have u heard any song tat just makes u cry inside?
have u read a poem that makes u nod ur head profusely...?
have u pondered by the sea and under the stars, y u r here, to make a significant change in urself and in other lives while u r nothing compared to ur surroundings?
i love being who i am.
i tok alot of nonsense...really...i was abt to be a clown with a big orange nose...
i form so many ideologies, dreams, theories, stories...tat i give myself a world tat i can live in, which makes me happy, really.
when i sit down in front of the tv, dancing, singing to the nice songs playing thru MTV, dreaming to be a dancer...singer, blahblah,...it makes me as though i am living tat dream, tat act.
i must be mad am i?
i am not unhappy really.
i love the way i am, so much, tat when i was told i am terrible, i feel terrible,
coz i din mean to hurt others, being me.
i love myself so much, that i told myself...it is okie...u know...pple all have flaws, and ur list may be long, but hey...i still love u all the same. becoz u r just being who u r.
pple dun mean a thing when they say bad things abt u...
really...they say coz they care...
but they still love me all the same.
dun they?
i sing a sentimental song.
tat song has no words.
tat song has no tune
it is just a song of me, singing.
i sing a sentimental song.
12:24 AM |
|
sentimental
have u heard any song tat just makes u cry inside?
have u read a poem that makes u nod ur head profusely...?
have u pondered by the sea and under the stars, y u r here, to make a significant change in urself and in other lives while u r nothing compared to ur surroundings?
i love being who i am.
i tok alot of nonsense...really...i was abt to be a clown with a big orange nose...
i form so many ideologies, dreams, theories, stories...tat i give myself a world tat i can live in, which makes me happy, really.
when i sit down in front of the tv, dancing, singing to the nice songs playing thru MTV, dreaming to be a dancer...singer, blahblah,...it makes me as though i am living tat dream, tat act.
i must be mad am i?
i am not unhappy really.
i love the way i am, so much, tat when i was told i am terrible, i feel terrible,
coz i din mean to hurt others, being me.
i love myself so much, that i told myself...it is okie...u know...pple all have flaws, and ur list may be long, but hey...i still love u all the same. becoz u r just being who u r.
pple dun mean a thing when they say bad things abt u...
really...they say coz they care...
but they still love me all the same.
dun they?
i sing a sentimental song.
tat song has no words.
tat song has no tune
it is just a song of me, singing.
i sing a sentimental song.
12:04 AM |
|
Tuesday, March 01, 2005
have decided to write an inspirational post today
i have been through negative emotions for the past 2 weeks and wish i could be a little more focused than ever, to complete everything on time with a certain level of confidence and determination...
feeling pretty hungry at this stage...making nothing much out of it
but i think, i have completed many things thus far, nothing is impossible right?
i will press on.
i will learn to be more discerning and learn to react quicker.
i know i am turning old, physically and mentally, but my heart and soul are forever young. they are the factors that will keep me alive, burning with passion.
while walking on the road of destiny, it is those lessons that give me hope and the ability to be thankful.
with all the pain i have to go through, it will only make me stronger and milder.
may God bless each and everyone of us here, to learn to seek peace wthin ourselves and with others.
i may not be a MP or a scholar, but i am willing to work hard as an insigificant individual to fight for my own happiness and bring about happiness to those around me whom i love and care for.
sleep well, eat well and live well!
11:30 PM |
|
|
|
