for a world that doesnt exist
for a universe that stands still
contact:
relacon@gmail.com
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DAILY INSPIRATION:
this day, i pray
this day, i smile
this day, i wish u all the best!
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wat u want to abt me?
and why?
how much can u find out,
when i dun even know
who i am?
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Saturday, December 24, 2005
wanting to quote alwyn
"u r your worst critic"
it is so damn right
i dunno, been feeling weird again
esp today
i felt so hurt
so hurt
sometimes, i feel so misunderstood or disliked, by my family
it feels like, i have just dived thousands knives into my heart.
2:35 AM |
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Sunday, December 18, 2005
i am supposed to blog
but there are jsut to many things to settle
photos, sewing, finances control..blahblahblah
now i have to plan who to meet blah blahblha
and chris is back!!!!!!
si tian hui is back!!!!! and i love her.
i ened ot get her something
she has gotten me lovely tapanade from usa!
i am very tired!
so many things to do and so little time!
i need to christmas shop again!
damn
how!? am i to survive??
anyhow.
i am packed all the way till x'mas
and i still have frens i need ot meet
things to do are piling!!
howhowhohwow?
hahahaha
and i think i am in love with my eye candy!
he is such a cheeky and playful person!
gosh...
charming boyish look and just totally dolly when he battles his eyelids.
dman it.
i wihs i can post his photos here
but i cun
and yeh, i would have his photo with just his face in my desktop soon
hahahahahahhaa
and toking abt fate
there i was happily toking abt my dear eye candy with the photos
there she goes..where got cute?
then we left to continue shopping, and we saw him on the streets!
hahahahaha
CANT U BELIEVE FATE?!
i was sooo happy
i never had such a feeling for a long long long time
hahaha..
yeah..since JC
like...speechless and then very gleeful
hahaha..
erps
there it goes again.
the vicious cycle of having a crush.
there u go
i am having a crush at this age!
i am mad!
but i am happy.
hahahaha...
feel like little girl...always hoping to see my eye candy
sigh..can see but cannot eat...how??
1:06 AM |
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Sunday, December 11, 2005
hrmm
an interesting day with me walking nephew to bus stop in the morning,
napping the whole afternoon away,
and spending the whole nite away with 3 other frens!
jo derick and fergus!
hhaha
and i am going to try ou creative zen neeon
it has orange and jo cna help me get a good rate!
somehow after seeing choonie's W800i
i am on 2nd thots.
time to play ard with the neeon first...
hahaha
money isnt easy to earn.
and i think shao is right.
i am just looking for the feeling once again.
and i think, i am not ready for it anyway.
i want to know more pple!
hahahaha...
i want to live my dream
aeonflux: chio bu with charming man
i want to live my dream and live it once and only once.
no clones and keep faith.
hell yeh
2:31 AM |
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Saturday, December 10, 2005
hrmm
sigh
hrmmm
hahahahahha
hrmm
we are not perfect.
we can be who we are.
we are the same,
but we are just who we are.
si
and there i was watching chicken little and to find out more cartoons movies coming in 2006...(more broke than ever liao)
it is all about believing
and pple beliving in you.
it has been sometime when some1 who u wish believe in u, believe in u.
do u believe? and place faith in your loved ones?
sometimes i feel tat, pple i wish who should believe in me, never
and it hurts.
it hurts alot.
it is like, to me, no 1 in the world believes in u.
and tat feeling sucks
does toking help?
would it really lead to closure?
toking means, sit down and tok abt it, to say wat's on your mind?
then i think there are some chapters in my life i need to tok out slowly and hope it will be a closure.
but sometimes, does toking always lead to closure?
closure to wat? and wat to we expect in closure from toking?
if it works, how do one take the first step?
i hve things i really wish i have closure to.
but i dunno how to approach it, and being tactful yet not hurting myself as much.
confused!!!
sigh
but no sigh
at least i begin to realise, i do have a good pt
sensitive to others, esp when i am outside the pic, helps
okie..i am not perfect, but i am not all bad.
tat's all!
i have guidelines in my life, and i stick by them
coz i know, tat's where i stand and i stand by them which in turn stand by me.
and i need a new hp
12:28 AM |
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Thursday, December 08, 2005
sigh
making mistakes is something pple cant tolerate
yet pple have to make mistakes
y?
just like u do something, u have to bear the consequences.
just like u say something, u have to bear the consequences.
but the pt is, wat kind of consequences?
can u anticipate it?
can u handly them?
may the sun shine tomolo and i'll live tomolo like there's no today
7:16 PM |
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Sunday, December 04, 2005
let the straw and fishball worry for me instead
1:58 AM |
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Friday, December 02, 2005
i just wish i have some1 listen to me tok
and tok with me
yet i cant find such a person
just one person to let me say wat i have to say, wat i feel and tat's all
is it tat all?
i feel like i really ned to tok to some1, but i cant even do tat?
sometimes i feel that i am irritating just because i want to tok to some1
yeh, i do feel tat i am disturbing pple
ended up, i think i shut up.
if pple change, i learn to keep quiet.
no matter how much i need to speak, i shall not.
coz i am made to think, i am noisy and immature.
thus, words shall not come out from my mouth
i will just continue to mutter to myself and tok to my best fren, bolster.
anyhow, i just want to say,
i am really tired
and i wanna some1 to tok to me, and chit chat with me
and actually make me so comfortable that i dun even realise, i am disturbing or being irritating.
how would tat happen?
y?
i dun get myself anymore.
sometimes there isnt a pt of getting so upset coz no 1 really care or realise.
i am not even trying to complain
sorry if i cant humour you today.
coz i am feeling tired and very sensitive.
maybe it is PMS maybe not,
i am just very tired. thinking of adjusting, changing, adapting.
just give me time and peace.
i must have bottled too much in me.
or maybe i havent.
i dunno.
when's it much and little?
tell me?
i dun think it is aboout being right and wrong?
just wish i can find some1 who just understands.
i dun want to explain myself too much.
i guess, i am too tired!
time to sleep.
and maybe i dun have any other reliable sources tat dun make me feel myself being irritating to others, to you.
11:15 PM |
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